What Is the Pink Cloud?
Why You Need to Know About the Pink Cloud The first few days of sobriety can be overwhelming. Some face difficult withdrawal symptoms. Others face intense cravings for the substance they abused. Getting through these first steps is hard, but it’s necessary for a brighter future. After the initial discomfort, some people in recovery enter a period of improvement known in the addiction treatment community as “the pink cloud” or “pink cloud syndrome.” It’s the feeling that nothing can stop their progress and that relapse isn’t possible. Quitting drugs and alcohol is something to be celebrated, and many people in early recovery feel extreme motivation to continue forward. But addiction recovery is a lifelong process. If you let initial success cloud your judgment on the difficulty of the road ahead, you could be setting yourself up for a relapse. Working with a professional addiction treatment center like Footprints to Recovery can help manage expectations and keep you focused on a brighter future. What Is Pink Cloud Syndrome? There’s something special about getting sober. Those who get through detox and move on to residential or outpatient treatment are often brimming with confidence about their situation. Feeling overly happy and motivated during this period is a phenomenon known as the pink cloud. It’s when you feel extra motivated to pursue your recovery due to the great feelings that come with initial sobriety. The problem is that these feelings can fade as you progress, which could open the door for a relapse as mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and stress creep back in. The idea of a pink cloud period started with those in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). People in meetings for alcoholism began seeing members exude positivity during the start of their sobriety. It’s often described as being “high on life.” Some of the signs and symptoms of pink cloud syndrome include: What Is Dangerous About Pink Cloud Syndrome? Feeling good can’t be dangerous, right? It feels like positivity and confidence in sobriety are a good thing. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case with the pink cloud. The danger of the pink cloud phase comes not in the feelings of happiness and euphoria but in the actions you could take as a result of those feelings. Here are some of the reasons why the pink cloud can be dangerous and lead to a relapse: At its core, the pink cloud is an obstacle in recovery that some people need to deal with. Ending treatment too early or not following through with aftercare programs can send you right back to square one with your substance use disorder. Does the Pink Cloud Cause Relapse? Many factors can cause a relapse. Pink clouding can certainly be included on that list. The false confidence it instills can be very dangerous because the recovery journey is not easy. The pink cloud can cause you to neglect your recovery and fall back into old patterns of substance abuse and addiction. Some other factors that can play a role in drug or alcohol addiction relapse include: Tips for Preventing Relapse Relapse prevention is hard. It takes effort and commitment to remain sober even when life’s triggers and stressors cause problems. The best way to prevent relapse is to work with professional treatment programs with certified and licensed counselors. Footprints to Recovery offers a full continuum of care, from detox through aftercare services. Our team of counselors can help you manage expectations and set achievable goals as you progress through the recovery process. Other tips for preventing a relapse include: Avoid the Pink Cloud with Footprints to Recovery The goal of an alcohol and drug treatment program is to provide you with the skills and tools necessary to not just reach sobriety but maintain it long into the future. Recovery programs like those at Footprints to Recovery consider factors like a co-occurring disorder, which can complicate addiction. Our addiction and behavioral therapy programs make our recovery center a great option for everyone. Footprints to Recovery offers unique levels of care and individualized treatment programs that can aid in long-term recovery and reduce your risk of relapse. Medical detox: The first step in getting sober is to stop using drugs and alcohol. This often means undergoing a detox period. Footprints to Recovery has a safe and comfortable detox facility operated by our team of substance abuse treatment professionals. We can help reduce difficult withdrawal symptoms so you can move on to the next phase of recovery. Residential treatment: After detox inpatient care is an option if you’re looking for the most structure and guidance in your recovery program. Residential treatment involves living full-time at our treatment facility while you undergo treatment every day. You’ll avoid triggers while you gain valuable tools and coping skills to aid sobriety in your future. Partial hospitalization program (PHP): Partial hospitalization is outpatient rehab that still offers structure for those in need. You attend treatment every day while living at home or a sober living home when not at our facility. A PHP is the start of your transition back to normal life. Intensive outpatient program (IOP): An IOP is similar to a PHP in that you don’t live full-time at a treatment center. It features 9 to 15 hours of treatment per week, depending on your needs. The goal is to build on the skills and tools learned in recovery to aid long-term sobriety. Outpatient rehab: Outpatient treatment is a form of therapy that involves attending programs at our recovery center just once or twice per week. An outpatient rehab program will help you learn to manage your addictions and avoid triggers to remain sober in the future. At Footprints to Recovery your treatment plan is tailored to meet your specific needs and goals. It considers the important components of your life, such as living environment, family dynamics, work obligations, and realistic time commitments. We can help you detox, make it through the pink cloud phase of recovery, and prevent relapse in the future. Contact us
5 Alternatives to 12-Step Programs
Peer support groups are an important part of long-term addiction recovery. They are free groups where people recovering from addictions get support from others in recovery. Attending these groups can provide a sense of community as well as accountability in refraining from substance use. Research shows peer support groups are most effective when combined with formal addiction treatment. Until the 1970s, 12-step groups were the only option of its kind for people in recovery, but today there are several alternatives to 12-step programs for those who don’t relate to their focus on a higher power. Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) was the first 12-step program, and has been the inspiration for other 12 steps like: Recent decades have given rise to a number of alternatives for Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs. They function in similar ways as the 12 Steps, with local meetings run by members. Some offer both in-person and online meetings. Here are five popular alternatives to the 12 Steps. #1 SMART Recovery SMART Recovery is a secular alternative to AA and other 12-step groups. Groups like AA encourage members to admit they are powerless over their alcohol addiction and embrace a Higher Power. SMART Recovery views substance abuse as a dysfunctional habit that people can have personal control over. The approach integrates cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and other evidence-based approaches to behavior change. SMART Recovery stands for self-management and recovery training. It is based on their “4-Point Program.” #2 Refuge Recovery Refuge Recovery draws on Buddhist philosophy to help people who are coping with urges and other difficulties in sobriety. Much of the teachings in Refuge Recovery are based on the Buddhist philosophy that the root cause of suffering is people’s desire to push away pain while seeking to fill an unquenchable thirst for pleasure. Participants learn how drinking alcohol and using drugs keeps them stuck in suffering. Through mindfulness and other Buddhist practices they learn to have compassion for themselves and the pain they’ve experienced and acquire healthy ways to cope with difficult feelings and urges. #3 Women for Sobriety Sociologist Jean Kirkpatrick created Women for Sobriety (WFS) in 1976 for women with addictive behaviors. The alternative to AA and NA views drug and alcohol abuse in women as a symptom of common problems experienced in this population. This may include low self-esteem, trauma, depression, shame, guilt, and gender inequality. Alcohol and drug abuse becomes a way to cope with these situations. WFS groups encourage participants to work on the underlying reasons and faulty thinking that feed their drug or alcohol use disorder. Participants learn how to take care of their core needs and become aware and self-fulfilled. This 12-step alternative focuses on behavior change through: #4 Secular Organizations for Sobriety (S.O.S.) Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS) is a 12-step alternative for people struggling with drug addiction, alcohol addiction, or food addiction. It’s based on the writings of its founder James Christopher who got sober in 1985 and decided to inspire a recovery program for non-religious substance abusers. SOS believes people can stay sober based on personal integrity, values, and beliefs. It does not adopt the 12-step concept that turning over your life to a Higher Power is the only road to recovery. The SOS sobriety approach is “sobriety priority.” This means that anyone can stay sober if they make sobriety their number one life priority. SOS encourages participants to: #5 LifeRing Secular Recovery LifeRing Secular Recovery supports participants in being the leader of their recovery — knowing their triggers and knowing what they need to overcome them. It focuses on strengthening the “sober self” and weakening the “addicted self.” In meetings, members practice drawing on their sober self to connect with other people’s sober self. Participants are encouraged to share practical experiences that help them stay sober. LifeRing is an alternative to AA and NA that believes each individual should find what best supports their sobriety and use it to stay sober. It proposes that the “addicted self” is still there, and will always be there, so people in recovery must work hard everyday to lead with their sober self. Looking For Help? Support groups are a critical part of long-term recovery, but most people will also require a formal addiction treatment program. Footprints to Recovery offers both 12-step treatment approaches and alternatives to 12-step programs. We educate you on all of the options available, so you can find what best fits with your beliefs, needs, and preferences. Footprints offers both inpatient rehab and outpatient treatment programs at our addiction treatment facilities. Alcohol and drug detox is also available. Our treatment providers use a combination of evidence-based addiction therapies and holistic approaches to help you address all aspects of substance abuse — physical, emotional, and spiritual. You’ll have an individual treatment plan tailored to your needs. Depending on the Footprints location, your recovery program may include: If you’re struggling with drug abuse or alcohol abuse, give us a call. We’ve helped thousands of people take back their lives from addiction. We can help you too. References
Dating in Addiction Recovery: How to Be Successful
Dating can be fun, exciting, stressful, awkward, and complicated all at once. Sober dating adds another layer of uncertainty to the mix. In a culture where “grabbing a drink” is a first-date standard and alcohol is the norm at dinners, parties, and other common dating activities, dating can be a minefield for singles in recovery. Re-entering the dating world can feel daunting. Just like dating before recovery, you can count on ups and downs, but you’ll also likely find that sober dating can be much more fulfilling and authentic. When Is it Okay to Date in Recovery? If you’re new to recovery, you may want to hold off on diving back into the dating scene. “The Golden Rule” of dating in recovery is that it’s okay to start around one year in—with good reason. It takes time to fill the space left by drugs and alcohol when you quit. The first year of sobriety is best spent strengthening your recovery, gaining structure in your life, and filling all that new space with healthy activities and coping skills. You also want to take care not to replace one addiction with another. It’s easy to channel all your energy and resources into a new relationship during this vulnerable time, which can take away from important recovery work. It takes time to learn what healthy relationships and connections look and feel like. You may not have had a healthy relationship for a long time—or ever. Jumping into sober dating too fast puts you at risk for repeating poor relationship patterns and even relapse. If you’ve been sober awhile and have a strong foothold in recovery, talk it through with your therapist or sponsor before you take the plunge. What Does Healthy Dating in Recovery Look Like? At first, dating without alcohol and drugs may feel a little like a junior high dance, with or without the bad soundtrack. You’re not quite sure what to do, things feel awkward, and your self-consciousness is palpable. It gets better! Here are some tips for successful dating in recovery while nurturing your sobriety: Be Honest About Recovery While you don’t need to reveal every little detail about your life right away, recovery is not something to hide in romantic relationships. Your recovery is sacred. It’s at the core of everything you do now. If sobriety is a problem for the person you’re dating, the relationship isn’t going to work. Hold Onto Boundaries Maintain your boundaries with people you’re dating, just like you would with family and friends. Boundaries are different for everyone, but common ones include: Avoiding situations where drugs and alcohol are being abused, like hanging out at a bar or going to a rave Expecting respect for your beliefs and life choices, including abstaining from drugs and alcohol Not letting the relationship interfere with your support groups and other relapse-prevention practices Get Therapy and Support Dating while sober can feel like a big deal in the beginning, and it’s important to keep your new recovery safe. Don’t go it alone. Don’t skip counseling appointments or 12-step meetings. Lean on counselors and your peers in recovery to help you through this new experience. Practice Self-Care It’s tempting to get whisked away by the excitement of a new romance, but don’t let the healthy practices important to your recovery fall by the wayside. Keep up with your self-care, or start something new that will nurture you, like: Doing yoga Exercising Joining a support group Maintaining good nutrition Getting enough sleep At about a year in recovery, you know what keeps you in fighting shape every day, so keep that up! If you’re sacrificing self-care for a relationship, it could be a warning sign that you’re slipping into old patterns. Time to bring up your concerns with your therapist and re-focus on your sobriety. Make Sober Dating Fun Dating without alcohol or drugs is going to be different than what you’re used to, but it can still be fun. Look for ways to keep it interesting without substances, like: Introducing each other to hobbies Taking hikes Exploring new places Enjoying each other’s favorite childhood movies Dating sober allows you to experience time together with a clear mind and attention to the present moment. Connecting without alcohol and drugs to grease the wheels makes for powerful, authentic relationships. Avoid These in Sober Dating Sober dating takes some adjusting. Changes and transitions can be especially hard in recovery. That’s why it’s important to protect your sobriety and look out for these red flags. Triggers You know your triggers. Avoid them. This is especially important when you first start sober dating. It might mean staying away from bars, avoiding certain personality types, or keeping clear of particular situations. Triggers can be harder to deal with alongside the pressures of new romance. Set boundaries in the beginning and stick to them. That “Co” Word “Codependency.” You heard this word so many times during drug and alcohol addiction treatment. You’re well aware how codependency can be a threat to your sobriety. Watch out for some of the telltale signs of codependency, like: People-pleasing Lack of boundaries Losing your sense of self Caretaking Addicted People While you were using drugs or alcohol, you may have been attracted to—and dated—people in similar situations. Just because you’re sober now doesn’t mean you’ll only be drawn to sober people. Avoid dating someone who’s abusing drugs or alcohol; getting close to someone who\’s so close to your old lifestyle makes it very difficult not to turn to old patterns, quickly. Rushing Into Intimacy Take your time before you get physical with someone. Intimacy in early recovery can bring up a lot of emotions. Be open with your partner and kind with yourself. If the other person has a problem with taking things slow, it could be a sign they’re not right for you. How to Find a Sober Date It’s hard to know where to begin when you start sober dating. Asking someone if they drink or
How to Help Someone with Addiction
It’s not easy watching a loved one go down the dark path of substance abuse and mental health concerns. Family and friends often feel powerless while searching for how. Relationships are complex enough already. When addiction is added, they get more confusing for everyone. The good news is there are ways to help a spouse, a sibling, a child, or a friend make positive changes and overcome their struggles with drugs and alcohol. One of the best ways is to seek professional help from a certified addiction treatment center like Footprints to Recovery. Rehab centers provide recovery methods for addiction, such as: These are part of programs like: The staff at treatment centers have skills and experience in treating people with addiction problems. They’re able to guide the person in question on how best to manage their recovery process. Signs of Substance Abuse If a spouse or other family member or a friend needs substance abuse treatment, there are several signs to look out for. These signs can be divided into three subcategories: physical, emotional, and social. Physical Signs of Substance Abuse The physical signs of substance abuse disorders can be obvious or difficult to notice. Finding drugs, alcohol, or paraphernalia, or finding someone mid-use are obvious signs. More subtle signs of addiction to alcohol or drugs like cocaine, meth, heroin, or prescription drugs include: Emotional Signs of Addiction Substance abuse takes its toll on everyone. The mental health issues that arise from abuse can be difficult to hide, though some manage to do it for years or even decades. If your wife or brother, aunt, or adult child started acting differently than usual, you’d want to know why, especially when the changes in behavioral health are so negative, like mood swings, apathy, or swinging from lethargic to hyperactive in a short period. Perhaps a loved one is lying, and you know it but don’t understand why they’re acting that way. Alcohol or drug addiction could be the culprit. Social Signs of Addiction Humans are very social beings. We live, work, learn, and grow alongside one another and rely on each other for support. Changes in social patterns could mean someone is struggling with substance abuse. For instance, someone you love could be staying out later or spending time with a new group of people. They may not enjoy the same places or activities they did before. They may start skipping out on obligations like school, work, or hobbies. These are all potential red flags of addiction. If you suspect that someone you love is struggling with substance abuse, it’s important to reach out and offer support as soon as possible. How Addiction Affects Family Relationships The addiction struggles and behavioral health issues of a family member can have a devastating effect on relationships within the family unit. Seeing any loved one fall into the terrifying cycle of addiction can strain even a healthy relationship. Husbands and wives struggle to cope as they watch their spouse become unstable due to substance abuse. It can be confusing and scary to watch a sibling struggle with drugs and alcohol. Addiction can cause trust issues in relationships. That makes it difficult for those closest to the addict to understand what the addict is going through. Feelings of guilt, shame, anger, frustration, and helplessness often lead to strained communication between family members. This lack of communication can cause further rifts in already fragile relationships. The group therapy and family therapy available in drug and alcohol treatment programs can be great resources for developing communication skills and healing relationships. While all family members involved will inevitably be impacted by addiction, it’s important to recognize that it affects everyone differently. How Can You Help Someone with Addiction? It is important for family members or close friends of someone suffering from addiction to understand the situation they are facing. Addiction affects everyone in a different way and understanding why someone has turned to substance abuse can help you provide love and support. Past trauma may be a factor. Mental health issues like depression, anxiety, or stress can also play a role in a substance abuse disorder. Regardless of why someone abuses drugs and alcohol, the important thing is to get them help. One way to start the process of helping a partner, child, sibling, or any loved one with recovery is through an intervention. What Is an Intervention? An intervention is an organized meeting between a person struggling with addiction and their family, friends, or loved ones. The purpose of this meeting is to express love and concern for the person and their drug or alcohol abuse. It is important to remember that addiction is not a choice; it’s an illness that requires professional help for effective treatment. An intervention can get the ball rolling towards long-term recovery from drug or alcohol addiction. An intervention should be thoughtfully planned out while focusing on offering solutions instead of blame or guilt. Ultimately, the goal of an intervention is to create a safe space where those involved can openly discuss addiction without fear of judgement or criticism. Encouraging someone to reach out for professional addiction treatment is one of the most important things you can do as a loved one. Addiction treatment centers provide the best chance at getting your wife, husband, sister, brother, son, or daughter the long-term sobriety they need. Showing your love and support through this difficult time is critical in helping someone cope with an addiction and return to a healthier life. Should your loved one resist getting help from an alcohol or drug abuse treatment program, the best thing to do is show your love and support. They may be open to listening to the points you’re making, or they may be angry, upset, or feel blindsided. In the end, your loved one needs to be ready and willing to get help, or effective treatment is difficult. Treatment plans are usually not a success when an individual doesn’t believe
What to Do When a Loved One Relapses
Watching a loved one relapse can be gut-wrenching. It’s normal to experience a flood of emotions. You may feel angry, sad, scared, and resentful. You thought this was behind your family, and now, here you are again. The fact is, relapse happens a lot, and it doesn’t mean that your loved one is doomed to a life of addiction. “It’s easy to become frustrated by your loved one’s repeated attempts to stop using drugs and alcohol,” said Agy Wielechowski, a case manager at Footprints to Recovery. “It’s very easy to think that if they wanted to stop, they would just stop. It may seem that simple in the mind of someone who has never struggled with addiction, but it isn’t that simple at all. In fact, drug and alcohol relapse is a common part of addiction recovery.” If you’re wondering what to say to someone who relapsed or what to do when someone relapses, read these 5 important tips. #1 Don’t Blame or Shame The person who has relapsed is likely feeling a lot of shame already. Adding to that will do no good. Research shows that people who relapse may experience the abstinence violation effect. This is the clinical term used when an individual experiences such strong feelings of shame, guilt, and failure when they relapse that they figure they might as well just turn in the towel and head straight back into active addiction. Piling on the shame or blame may just exacerbate this feeling for your loved one. Focusing on the fact that a substance use disorder is a disease that changes the brain may help you feel more compassionate in a situation where anger and frustration are understandably often knee-jerk reactions. If you haven’t struggled with addiction, it’s hard to comprehend just how strongly substance abuse can hijack the brain, making it extremely difficult to stop using drugs or alcohol. It’s not just a matter of willpower. “Addiction takes over the survival part of the brain, and the substance being abused becomes so central in a person’s life that all their energy, thoughts, and time are consumed by it,” said Wielechowski. “The parts of the brain that are critical to decision-making and behavior control are also changed by repeated substance use. Quitting can be very difficult, even for those who feel ready.” #2 Address Your Feelings Allow yourself to feel the many emotions around your loved one’s addiction relapse. Don’t judge your emotions. They’re all valid. Express them in healthy ways without taking them out on your loved one. Give yourself some space before you speak with your loved one about their relapse. “Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm,” said Wielechowski. “You are allowed to walk away and take a time out. Remember to breathe, and focus on some self-care steps you can take to feel better.” Some healthy ways to cope with strong emotions: Once the emotions from your loved one’s alcohol or drug relapse feel less raw and intense, try to speak with them about it. It’s okay to express your feelings to them, but do so in a way that doesn’t cast blame. Using “I” words is a good rule of thumb. For example: What not to say to someone who relapsed: What to say to someone who relapsed: “A drug or alcohol relapse is not the end, and it does not mean that treatment has ‘failed,’” Wielechowski. Always remember to take a step back and gauge the situation. Don’t assume that this misstep will cause your loved one’s or your entire life to be destroyed.” #3 Keep Healthy Boundaries Seeing your loved one struggle with addiction is tough. Holding your boundaries when someone relapses may feel like kicking them when they’re down, but that’s not the case. There’s a difference between supporting and enabling. If you’re wondering what to do when someone relapses, this is at the top of the list. Keeping healthy boundaries right now can mean the difference between them getting the substance abuse treatment they need or spiraling further into a relapse. The main message that comes across with boundaries is that you love them and support them, but you will not support their self-destructive behaviors like alcohol and drug abuse. Boundaries for addicted people look different depending on the situation, but common ones include: Let your loved one know you want to be the first person they call when they’re ready to attend substance abuse treatment and get back on track, but you love them too much to enable the behaviors that are contributing to their addiction. “The recovery process can be a hard and long road, but with time and the proper tools, you and your loved one can heal,” said Wielechowski. “Drug and alcohol relapse is a completely natural part of addiction, and it is never your fault.” #4 Encourage Them to Get Help A relapse doesn’t always mean a return to drug rehab is necessary. However, it usually means some form of substance abuse treatment is a good idea. Support groups for sobriety like SMART Recovery (smartrecovery.org) differentiate between a relapse and a slip. They consider a slip to be a brief, one-time event that couldn’t be foreseen. This could include a brief slip into substance abuse as a reaction to things like a job loss, death of a loved one, or being blindsided by a trigger. SMART Recovery considers a relapse to be drug or alcohol abuse that continues for days or weeks when people fall into past patterns like hanging out with “drug friends,” missing support groups, and feeling “homesick” for their old lifestyle. With a slip, you’re loved one might just need to increase their individual therapy sessions, attend more recovery support groups, or look into an outpatient program that meets two to three times a week in the day or evenings. If their return to drugs and alcohol looks more like a relapse where they have moved back into active addiction and old lifestyle habits, a return
How to Speak to Your Loved One About Their Addiction
There’s no question: Addiction is a difficult topic to discuss. It’s a chaotic disease that affects the person struggling and those around them. When a loved one is dealing with addiction, it’s common to feel a multitude of emotions. While it’s normal to be overwhelmed, it’s also important to remember that there is hope for recovery and there are ways you can help your loved one. The most important first step is having a conversation. When communicating with a loved one about your concerns, it’s important to do so in a way that allows them to really hear what you’re saying. Follow these do’s and don’ts to help the conversation help your loved one understand you have their best interests—and their future— at heart. Do: Be clear and upfront. The best way to speak to others in general is to be straightforward and honest. The same holds true when you’re talking to someone with an addiction. Be clear in what you want to communicate to them, and don’t hesitate to bring up your own feelings about the situation—in a calm way. In fact, saying how you feel is often a good starting point. Tell your loved one how it hurts and worries you to see them addicted to drugs and how you fear for their safety. Your loved one may have strong feelings or a negative reaction to what you have to say, but that does not mean you shouldn’t say it. Those feelings and reactions can be part of paving the way to recovery. Give them space to respond. Don’t pressure your loved one to respond to what you’re saying right away. You can offer to help them and explain how you’ll do so, but if you try to make them choose their next move on the spot, you’ll probably be met with resistance. No one likes being told that what they’re doing is wrong. Over time, their feelings of hurt and betrayal may dissolve, and they’ll think about what you’ve said. Give them the time and space to reach this point on their own. Set and enforce boundaries. Boundaries are important in every relationship. They are the limits you set to protect your values, time, safety, and more. When someone in your life has an addiction, it can feel like an uphill battle to maintain healthy boundaries with them. But it’s a necessary step if you want to do everything you can to help them get healthy. Letting someone with an addiction overstep your boundaries corrodes your relationship with them. They may become dependent on you, and you become self-sacrificing, at the risk of your own mental health and well-being. It’s okay to say “no.” Make sure when you do so, you explain why and let them know that you’ll do so the next time they ask too. Just as important as setting boundaries— if not more so—is enforcing them. Don’t just tell the person you’re setting limits. If they continue to overstep boundaries, tell them “no” again, and however many times you need to after that. Take action alongside them. Take some type of action yourself. This shows your loved one you are just as committed to improving the relationship and helping them through this difficult time. It sets a good example, strengthens bonds, and may help you at the same time. Depending on the type of action you take, you may learn more about addiction in the process and become a better advocate for your loved one. What could that action look like? Take advantage of a time when you are both clear-headed to talk. There’s never a perfect time to have a difficult conversation, but some times are better than others. Waiting for a moment when your loved one is sober and both of you are calm can make a real difference in how the conversation goes. If you find yourself in a day or a moment when things are going well, take advantage of it and bring up your concerns. Many people shy away from this because they don’t want to ruin the good experience. Remember that unless your loved one gets help, your happy times will only ever be short and rare. Your goal is to have more of these moments. Say something to express your feelings, such as, “I’m really enjoying this time with you. I wish we had more days like this.” Educate yourself. Addiction is a disease. The more you educate yourself, the better you will understand why your loved one is struggling. The more you understand how addiction works and how your loved one may be feeling, the easier it is to speak to them from a place of empathy and support. You won’t fully understand what it’s like to be in their shoes, but you can show them you know a few things about their experience. They may feel grateful and supported just because you took the time to learn about their situation. The ultimate goal here is to help the other person feel they’re not alone. Don’t: Ignore the issue. Pretending an addiction doesn’t exist does not help your loved one make changes. Those struggling with addiction are prone to putting themselves in risky or dangerous situations, not to mention the negative physical effects of drugs and alcohol. Addiction is a progressive disease that does not get better on its own. Talking to your loved one about your concerns doesn’t guarantee they’ll change, but it may plant a seed. Eventually they will realize they’ve hit rock bottom, and when they do, they’ll recall your words of concern and your offer to help. Enable. The definition of enable is to “give someone the authority or means to do something.” When it comes to addiction, enabling means providing another person the space or the means to continue their destructive behaviors. You might be enabling your loved one’s substance abuse by: Give ultimatums or threats. Issuing a final demand to someone who is not ready for change will likely result
International Overdose Awareness Day: A Time to Remember, A Time to Act
Each year, thousands of individuals pass from drug and alcohol overdoses. The number of drug overdose deaths in the United States rose from 38,329 in 2010 to a peak of over 70,000 in 2017. Fortunately, the number of deaths decreased to 67,367 in 2018, but that’s still almost 200 people a day. The global situation isn’t good either. In 2017, an estimated 585,000 people lost their lives to drug use. That’s more than 1,600 families that grieve the lost of a loved one each day. The addiction epidemic in the U.S.—and around the world—knows no bounds. It affects all walks of life, all communities, and all of our hearts. We’ve lost countless sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, friends, loved ones, neighbors. And the list goes on. Many of the people you come into contact with on a daily basis have been affected by alcohol and drug addiction in some way shape or form. Almost everyone knows someone personally or knows of someone who has passed due to drug overdose. International Overdose Awareness Day is a global event held on August 31st each year to raise awareness of overdose and reduce the stigma of a drug-related death. It’s a time to acknowledge the grief felt by families and friends remembering those who have passed as a result of drug overdose. What Is an Alcohol or Drug Overdose? An alcohol or drug overdose occurs when you take in more alcohol or drugs—or a combination of alcohol and drugs—than your body can physically handle. Individuals can overdose on many things, including, but not limited to: Perhaps the most fatal, opioid overdoses happen when there are so many opioids or a combination of opioids and other drugs in the body that the individual is unresponsive to stimulation and/or breathing is inadequate. Heroin; prescription opioids (Oxycontin, fentanyl, morphine, Vicodin, Percocet, etc.); and other downers, such as alcohol and benzodiazepines (Xanax, Klonopin, Valium, Ativan, etc.) are an especially dangerous combination given they all affect the body’s central nervous system, which slows down: Stimulants, like cocaine, ecstasy, and speed, can also cause overdoses. During a stimulant overdose, important systems in the body increase: heart rate, blood pressure, and body temperature. In turn, breathing speeds up, leading to seizure, stroke, heart attack, or death. Alcohol Overdose Signs and Symptoms: What to Do: What Not to Do: Depressant (Benzodiazepines, Barbiturates) Overdose Signs and Symptoms: What to Do: What Not to Do: Opioid (Oxycodone, Morphine, Codeine, Heroin, Fentanyl, Methadone, and Opium) Overdose Signs and Symptoms: What to Do: What Not to Do: Stimulant (Amphetamine, Cocaine, Ecstasy, MDMA) Overdose Signs and Symptoms: What to Do: What Not to Do: What Are Risk Factors? A large number of overdoses occur because individuals mix heroin, prescription opioids, and/or other alcohol with benzodiazepines. Another common drug combination that increases the risk of overdose is called a “speedball:” a mixture of heroin and cocaine. Tolerance, which is the body’s ability to process certain amounts of a drug, also plays a large role in overdose. Tolerance develops over time; the longer someone uses a drug, the more they’ll need to feel the same effects. It’s important to note that tolerance decreases rapidly when someone takes a break from using a drug; for example, when they enter drug treatment. Those who’ve had a period of sobriety and return to their previous amount of drug use are at a higher risk of overdose. Overdose kills hundreds of thousands of people around the world every single year, and it affects millions of people who mourn for the loss of their loved ones. On August 31st, take some time to learn more about the signs of drug overdose, so you can recognize it if you see it, and do something to help save a life. For more information on alcohol and drug overdose or International Overdose Awareness Day, click here.
How Do You Know If You Have a Drug Problem? The Drug Abuse Screening Test (DAST) Can Help.
Your friends and family have started to show concern. They tell you your drug use is out of control. They are worried about you. Your boss is threatening to fire you because you are often late and your work has become sloppy. For you, using your drug of choice is like an itch that you constantly need to scratch. It is never out of your thoughts. You might be wondering if you have a problem with drug abuse. How can you find out if you need professional help? Or maybe you have a friend, a co-worker, or a family member who is using. You see the signs, but how can you tell if someone you love is at risk for drug addiction? Drugs can cause havoc in a person’s life, and someone who uses recreationally can become addicted and in trouble very quickly. A situation that seemed like a minor concern can spiral out of control in a heartbeat. How the DAST Can Help If you are concerned that you or someone you love might have a drug problem, you can start by taking the DAST (Drug Abuse Screening Test). The DAST is a self-diagnostic screening tool to help you assess whether or not there is something to explore more seriously. The DAST-10 is a 10-question yes/no questionnaire that you can either take yourself or with a loved one. The DAST-20 is a longer version (as below). Both tests only take a few minutes to complete. Note: This tool assesses drug use, not alcohol or tobacco. In this assessment, drug use is defined as: The use of prescribed or over-the-counter drugs in excess of the directions and Any non-medical use of drugs, including: Cannabis (marijuana, hash) Solvents or glue Tranquilizers (like Valium) Cocaine Stimulants (like Ritalin) Hallucinogens (like LSD) Opiates (like heroin, codeine, oxycodone) Answer “yes” or “no” to the questions below: 1. Have you used drugs other than those required for medical reasons? 2. Have you abused prescription drugs? 3. Do you abuse more than one drug at a time? 4. Can you get through the week without using drugs (other than those required for medical reasons)? 5. Are you always able to stop using drugs when you want to? 6. Do you abuse drugs on a continuous basis? 7. Do you try to limit your drug use to certain situations? 8. Have you had “blackouts” or “flashbacks” as a result of drug use? 9. Do you ever feel bad about your drug abuse? 10. Does your spouse (or parents) ever complain about your involvement with drugs? 11. Do your friends or relatives know or suspect you abuse drugs? 12. Has drug abuse ever created problems between you and your spouse? 13. Has any family member ever sought help for problems related to your drug use? 14. Have you ever lost friends because of your use of drugs? 15. Have you ever neglected your family or missed work because of your use of drugs? 16. Have you ever been in trouble at work because of drug abuse? 17. Have you ever lost a job because of drug abuse? 18. Have you gotten into fights when under the influence of drugs? 19. Have you ever been arrested because of unusual behavior while under the influence of drugs? 20. Have you ever been arrested for driving while under the influence of drugs? 21. Have you engaged in illegal activities in order to obtain drug? 22. Have you ever been arrested for possession of illegal drugs? 23. Have you ever experienced withdrawal symptoms as a result of heavy drug intake? 24. Have you had medical problems as a result of your drug use (e.g., memory loss, hepatitis, convulsions, bleeding, etc.)? 25. Have you ever gone to anyone for help for a drug problem? 26. Have you ever been in a hospital for medical problems related to your drug use? 27. Have you ever been involved in a treatment program specifically related to drug use? 28. Have you been treated as an outpatient for problems related to drug abuse? Scoring and Interpretation A score of ‘1’ is given for each YES response, except for items 4, 5, and 7, for which a NO response is given a score of ‘1’. Research has found that when scoring using the DAST-10, a score of 12 and greater could indicate a substance abuse problem. What If Alcohol Is the Problem? If the substance you are concerned about is alcohol and not drugs, consider using the MAST (Michigan Alcohol Screening Test). It’s a similar diagnostic screening tool to the DAST, but it’s used for alcohol abuse. It was invented in 1971 and is still in use today. The MAST helps you determine if your family, work, or relationships are being affected by excessive alcohol use. There is a longer version that can be administered by a doctor or therapist, and there is a shorter version that you can take yourself. Answer “yes” or “no” to the questions below: 1. Do you feel you are a normal drinker? (“Normal” is defined as drinking as much or less than most other people.)2. Have you ever awakened the morning after drinking the night before and found that you could not remember a part of the evening?3. Does any near relative or close friend ever worry or complain about your drinking?4. Can you stop drinking without difficulty after one or two drinks?5. Do you ever feel guilty about your drinking?6. Have you ever attended a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)?7. Have you ever gotten into physical fights when drinking?8. Has drinking ever created problems between you and a near relative or close friend?9. Has any family member or close friend gone to anyone for help about your drinking?10. Have you ever lost friends because of your drinking?11. Have you ever gotten into trouble at work because of drinking?12. Have you ever lost a job because of drinking?13. Have you ever neglected your obligations, family, or work for two or more days in
What to Say to Someone Who Is Suicidal & What NOT to Say
Suicide is undoubtedly a delicate topic. It can be confusing, shameful, and challenging to talk about. Because of how emotionally charged the subject is, people often don’t know what to say to someone who is suicidal. They worry about making things worse and feel panicked by the fear of saying the wrong thing. If you think someone you know is suicidal, you might feel lost, not knowing what to do. That’s normal. Read on for a few ideas about what to say and what not to say to someone struggling with suicidal thoughts. What to Say to Someone Who Is Suicidal If someone discloses suicidal thoughts to you, recognize that this means they trust you. It’s not easy to open up about these uncomfortable feelings. People struggling with suicidal thoughts often worry about being a burden to others. They also worry about being rejected or dismissed. Saying these things with love and compassion may help them feel understood. Validate Your Loved One First, it’s a good idea to validate your loved one. Validating means recognizing and accepting someone else’s internal experience. It helps people feel more safe and connected. Some examples of validating statements include: Thank you for sharing this with me. That does sound like it’s hard. I’m proud of you for opening up. I know we can figure this out together. Your emotions make perfect sense. I understand completely. I care about you, and I’m here for you. Ask Direct Questions Although it may feel uncomfortable, it’s essential to know whether your loved one is in imminent danger of harming themselves or someone else. Direct questions include: Help Them Get the Help They Need If your loved one is actively suicidal, do not leave them alone. Let them know you will support them in getting immediate help. This help may vary depending on the circumstances. Suicide Prevention Hotline The suicide prevention hotline provides 24/7 crisis counseling to individuals in emotional distress. They can call 1-800-273-8255 for confidential support. The Emergency Room If your loved one is in imminent danger (like in the event of a drug overdose or a suicide attempt), they may need medical attention. Take them to the nearest emergency room or call 911. Ongoing Support Help your loved one find professional treatment. Often, people feel overwhelmed by their feelings, and they may struggle to get help on their own. Offer to sit with them as they call their doctor or reach out to therapists. If they’re okay with it, you could research therapists for them, or addiction treatment centers, if they also have a problem with substance abuse. What Not to Say to Someone Who Is Suicidal When you’re listening to or having a conversation with someone who is suicidal, knowing what not to say can be even more important than knowing what to say. Keep these tips in mind when interacting with your loved one, and avoid saying: “You Just Want Attention.” If someone discloses suicidal thoughts to you, they are expressing one of the most vulnerable parts of themselves. This isn’t about attention; it’s about asking for help. Dismissing them for trusting you may cause them to withdraw entirely. “Are You Sure You Feel That Way?” Feelings are real. If your loved one discloses feeling depressed or hopeless, don’t discount them. You’ll be more likely to make a positive difference if you validate them instead, saying something like, “Your emotions make perfect sense. We can figure this out together.” “I’d Be So Sad If You Died.” Of course, you would be sad! Unfortunately, this statement often induces more guilt and shame, which can increase self-destructive thoughts. Try to remember that this conversation isn’t about your feelings—it’s about theirs. “Try and Think About Everything You’re Grateful For.” Optimism can play an influential role in changing negative thoughts, but a blanket statement like this can make your loved one feel worse. They probably already feel guilty about their thoughts. Telling them to “just think positively” invalidates their emotions. “Suicide Is So Selfish.” To the individual suffering, suicide may seem like the only way to get relief. Instead of making a harsh accusation that induces more guilt, aim to be nonjudgmental and supportive of their emotions. “Things Could Always Be Worse.” While this statement may be true, it may make them feel guilty, and it’s unhelpful. Your loved one is in pain. Right now, things feel as bad as they can get. Telling them things could get worse implies you don’t believe their current struggle is legitimate and may make them feel even more hopeless. “You Just Need to Stop Doing X, Y, or Z, and You’ll Feel Better.” Whether your loved one is addicted to drugs or in a toxic relationship, you might think a single factor represents the source of all their problems. But suicide is a multifaceted issue. That means there are many risk factors for suicide, including: Final Thoughts on Supporting Your Loved One The risk of suicide can be incredibly scary. Of course, you want your loved one to be safe and healthy. At the same time, you can’t assume the sole responsibility for their well-being. These tips for what to say and what not to say to someone who is suicidal can help ground you and make you better able to give whatever help you can. Remember to enter any conversation with an open mind and open heart to hear them. If your loved one is struggling with substance use, suicide represents a serious threat. At Footprints to Recovery, we’re here to help. Contact us today to learn more. References
Loved Ones of Addicts Need Help Too
Addiction affects everyone in its path. It’s a family disease, with research showing families of addicts are emotionally, physically, and financially impacted by a loved one’s drug and alcohol abuse. Families play important roles in the development, sustentation, and treatment of substance use disorders. Addiction and recovery involve everyone, not just the substance abuser. Families and friends impacted by addiction must go through their own version of recovery. Research finds that by providing families of addicts with support, they’re less likely to experience detrimental effects of their loved one’s addiction. Family involvement in treatment can also improve addiction and recovery outcomes for the addict. While it’s clear that the addicted person needs help and support to recover, family, loved ones, and friends can benefit from support and help as well. How Addiction Affects Loved Ones Family members and friends of addicts experience their own stressors and pain. Sometimes it can look like a type of addiction itself as they become consumed with the addicted person’s well-being, whereabouts, and use of alcohol and other drugs. Families of addicts may also experience a “withdrawal” of their own searching for normalcy and stability once their loved one begins addiction recovery. Drug and alcohol addiction can create chaos in the family system, highlighting the need for support for all family members. Examples of how friends and families of addicted people struggle alongside their loved ones: Taking Care of Yourself When You Love an Addict Families affected by addiction can suffer detrimental effects to their mental and physical health. It can be easy for self-care to fall by the wayside when you’re so focused on what your addicted loved one is doing. You worry about their safety and health, and you may be preoccupied with the behaviors that are impacting you and other family members. Loss of sleep, lack of exercise and proper nutrition, and excessive stress takes its toll. You may experience anxiety and depression symptoms. The best thing families of addicts can do for their loved one is to take care of themselves. You’re no help to your loved one if you’re depleted and unhealthy. Things you should do if your loved one is struggling with alcohol or drug addiction: 1. Go to therapy – There are so many complex emotions in families of addicts. You may feel anger, sadness, guilt, and shame, just to name a few. Consider mental health treatment for yourself. A therapist can help you: 2. Practice self-care – Make sure you’re doing the things that protect your physical and mental health, like: 3. Hold healthy boundaries – A common saying in support groups for families of addicts is, “Detach with love.” Some of your behaviors may feel like you’re helping your loved one, but they may be keeping them stuck in their addiction, taking away the motivation to get the drug or alcohol treatment they need. Examples of healthy boundaries include: 4. Accept what you can and can’t do – You can support your loved one in healthy ways, you can encourage them to get substance abuse treatment, but you can’t do the work for them. Letting go of the thought that if you just worked harder at making them get help, if you just made their life a little easier, they would get better is hard. Accepting that there are real limits to the impact you can have on your loved one’s addiction and recovery and letting go can help take some of the emotional burden off your back. A therapist can help with this process. 5. Attend support groups for families of addicts– Hearing from and sharing with others going through similar struggles can be a transformative experience. It can help with the isolation and shame that can plague families of addicts. Nar-Anon, SMART Recovery, and Al-Anon family programs are all good ones to attend. Help for Families of Addicts There are several sources of support for families of addicts. Some of these include: Most treatment programs offer family therapy or family programs, whether by group or individual sessions. Topics are often educational, as well as skills-based to help you apply the knowledge toward your own recovery process. Examples of some of the topics covered in family therapy groups include: You don’t need to go it alone. Whether you are a spouse, child, friend, or sibling of someone who is struggling with addiction, there are resources for you. We Can Help Footprints to Recovery helps our clients and their loved ones recover from addiction and co-occurring mental illness. Most of our addiction recovery treatment programs include family therapy sessions, family groups, and family education on substance abuse and mental health issues. We offer many levels of care including: If you have a loved one struggling with addiction, call us for a free, confidential phone consultation. We’ll figure this out together. Resources
