Watch Out for These 5 Addiction Triggers
Getting sober is hard. Staying sober is sometimes harder. The good news is that millions of people are living in recovery, and you can too. If you’re recovering from a substance use disorder, paying attention to triggers can help you safeguard your sobriety, especially in early addiction recovery. Between 40-60% of people in recovery relapse. That doesn’t mean you’re destined for relapse; it just means you should prepare for triggers and challenges as best you can. As part of your relapse prevention plan, you should be able to identify triggers and have a plan when you encounter them. Here are some important areas to pay attention to, especially when you’re new to recovery: #1 HALT: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired You may have already heard the acronym, “HALT” in inpatient rehab or outpatient rehab. HALT stands for: hungry, angry, lonely, tired. Basic needs like eating well or getting enough sleep can have a great impact on how you feel physically and mentally. In addiction recovery, you’re encouraged to “halt” and ask yourself if you’re experiencing any of those conditions. Feelings of unbalance can be internal triggers for addictive behaviors. It’s more difficult to remember healthy coping skills when you’re experiencing any of these deficits. Am I Hungry? Hunger can come in the form of an actual need for food or an emotional hunger. Check-in with your body and quiet your mind. Halt, and ask yourself if the hunger you\’re feeling is tied to a need for food, or is it a void from stress, sadness, or loneliness? It’s sometimes easy to mistake emotional hunger for physical hunger. If you’re physically hungry, eat something healthy instead of turning to sugary or overprocessed foods that may provide a quick fix, but will make you feel worse in the long run. If you’re emotionally hungry, try these tactics: Am I Angry? Intense or uncomfortable emotions like anger can trigger drug and alcohol abuse in people with substance use disorders. This is why many drug rehabs include anger management as part of programming. Anger is a natural emotion, but some people have complex issues around anger, usually based on the messages received about it as a child. This can make anger a loaded emotion you want to escape from. In the past, this escape may have come in the form of substance abuse. If you’re feeling triggered, halt and ask yourself if you’re experiencing anger or another uncomfortable emotion. Positive emotions can even be uncomfortable in early recovery. When you’ve been numbing feelings with drugs and alcohol, it takes time to relearn what to do with emotions. Healthy ways to deal with anger instead of abusing drugs include: Am I Lonely? Recovery can feel lonely at times, and loneliness is a risk factor for addiction relapse. Sometimes sobriety means building a new friend group or changing relationships with family. You don’t have to be physically alone to experience loneliness. Feeling like you don’t have anything in common or strong connections with the people in your life can also make you feel alone. If you’re the only one not drinking at a party or a family gathering, that can bring feelings of loneliness as well. Drugs and alcohol may feel like an old friend that can bring comfort. A sober network of peers is a critical piece of recovery. If you’re feeling lonely and tempted to use drugs or alcohol, attend an Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, or SMART Recovery group; call your sponsor; or call a loved one. Am I Tired? Getting enough sleep is an important part of keeping your brain and body healthy. Lack of sleep can have many detrimental effects on your health, and it’s also a risk factor for relapse. Make sure you’re on a regular sleep schedule. Tiredness can also come in the form of mental exhaustion. Create some space in your mind with activities like meditation or yoga, or participating in anything that feels meditative to you, like playing or listening to music, knitting, creating art, or running. #2 Old Friends Abusing Substances It’s best to avoid as many external triggers as possible in early recovery, which includes your old friend group. Addiction changes the brain in ways that mean certain situations provide cues to drink or use drugs, activating the reward system so that it’s nearly impossible to refuse substances. Hanging out with the same people you used drugs and alcohol with is a test that you should not put your early sobriety up against. #3 Places Tied to Drinking or Using Drugs In the same way former friends can be relapse triggers, your brain links places to substance abuse as well. Just driving by an old haunt where you would use drugs or your regular bar can bring up a powerful urge to abuse substances. While it might be impossible to avoid all people and places associated with drug or alcohol abuse, it’s best to not seek out these things. Creating as much distance as possible between triggers you can control is important for people in recovery. #4 Celebrations and Parties With Alcohol or Drugs Preventing relapse may mean avoiding situations with any drug or alcohol use for a while. Many people in recovery reach a point where they feel more comfortable around substance use and don’t feel as triggered. It takes time to build the healthy coping skills needed to tolerate these situations for people recovering from alcohol and drug addiction. For some, this can take years. Be patient with yourself. To be safe, avoid parties or gatherings with substance use until you develop healthy coping mechanisms, have many months of sobriety under your belt, and have a specific action plan in place for dealing with these types of triggers. #5 High-Stress Situations Stress is a natural part of life. There’s no way to avoid it, but trying to eliminate unnecessary sources of stress in early recovery can make coping with triggers easier. High-stress situations are different for everyone. For example, high-conflict relationships with loved ones
Coping With the Winter Blues: Tips for Seasonal Affective Disorder
As much as some of us wish, we can’t sleep away the winter months in hibernation. However, we can find healthy ways to deal with unwanted feelings that come with it. The decreasing sunlight and cold weather in fall and winter can make some people feel down due to shorter days and colder temps; then begin to feel better in the spring and summer, which bring longer daylight hours. This is called seasonal affective disorder (SAD), and it’s a type of depression. The condition is characterized by a recurrent, seasonal pattern with symptoms of depression lasting four to five months per year. Here are tips for coping with seasonal affective disorder. The symptoms of seasonal depression impact how you feel, think, and manage daily tasks. The “winter blues” can bring about mild depressive symptoms such as: More severe signs and symptoms of SAD can include: If you find yourself with any of these SAD symptoms for more days than not, it’s important to reach out to a mental health professional for appropriate treatment options. Some people need regular behavioral therapy and potentially antidepressant medications and light therapy to overcome seasonal depression symptoms. With the change of seasons, however, many of us are prone to at least some changes in mood. It’s normal to have some days when you feel down. Making some lifestyle changes can help manage your mood, support good behavioral health, and make the winter months much more enjoyable. Here are some self-help tips to lift your mood: #1 Connect With Your Values Choose intentional actions that hold your interest and concentration. It doesn’t need to be a massive undertaking. Keep it simple. Taking action can be as small as walking across the room or putting an item away. Keep your interest moving towards aspects of your life that give you energy as opposed to drain you. You’re at your best when your thoughts, feelings, and actions are in sync with what matters to you. Passive activities, such as watching television, are often too weak to hold your interest and can push you away from meaningful action. #2 Catch Yourself, and Avoid “Avoiding” Whenever you decide to put off a task (even for a moment), do at least a small bit instead. It’s normal to want to avoid anything that’s a perceived threat to our plans. Catch yourself avoiding, and then avoid your avoidance — at least for a minute or two. For example, if you’ve been avoiding doing your laundry, and decide to make yourself a cup of tea before you get started, pull the clothes out of the dryer before you make the tea. You’ll find that once you get started, you’ll want to continue. If you’re still forcing yourself to do the laundry after a couple of minutes, stop; do your avoidance activity (drinking tea); and then reapply the “do a little first” strategy. Even a small sense of accomplishment can boost your mood. #3 Exercise Physical activity is a wonderful way to decrease anxiety and tip for seasonal affective disorder. Staying busy and increasing endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine is a natural and free antidepressant. Join a gym or a class where you’re around other people to increase social contact. Establishing an exercise routine can be a valuable lifestyle change that establishes a new structure for your day. A regular exercise routine not only benefits your mental health but keeps your physical health in check too. Weight gain can be an effect of seasonal affective disorder due to feelings of lethargy and a tendency to eat high-calorie, high-fat comfort foods to cope with low mood. Exercise safeguards you against some of the health effects that can accompany weight gain. #4 Do the Opposite of What You Feel Like Doing Try doing the opposite of what your passive side is telling you to do, and you’ll find that you have begun a movement away from passivity. It can be tempting to wait until we “feel motivated” to take action, but the reality is, that feeling only comes by taking action and engaging with the environment. For example, if you feel like withdrawing from a confrontation, approach the person instead of hiding. #5 Keep a Normal Sleep Schedule Even though snow and ice might make you want to curl up all morning in your warm bed, it’s important to keep a set sleep schedule all week long, including weekends. Hypersomnia, or oversleeping, is common in the winter and it can also add to your low mood. A regular sleep pattern of going to bed and waking at the same time every day is one way to help regulate your circadian rhythm. #6 Aim for Balance in Your Life You can help maintain balance in your life by scheduling action and structure into your normal activities. These may include regular practices like getting up in the morning, making breakfast, exercising, taking a walk, talking to someone, answering email, and checking your voicemail. The last activity you schedule for the day should be to sit down and schedule the next day’s activities. #7 Do Something New Mix it up a little. Try a different hairstyle. Explore a part of town you’ve never visited. Novelty creates curiosity and keeps you from getting stagnant. The decision to do something new puts you in motion. #8 Watch Your Diet You may crave junk food or fast food when you’re feeling down but watch what you eat. Limit your caffeine and sugary drinks as they tend to create a “crash” feeling. Complex carbohydrates take longer to digest and help to increase serotonin or “feel-good” hormones in your brain. These go-to brain foods include spinach, sweet potatoes, broccoli, beans or lentils, and zucchini. Chocolate and almonds are also a good mood-boosting snack. #9 Spend Time With Friends and Family Socializing is important for your mental health, especially with only six or seven hours of natural light a day. Chatting with loved ones is always good but try to do something active like going
What to Do When You Relapse
When it comes to behavior change, you never quite escape the risk of relapse. Relapse is often only associated with addiction recovery, however, relapse can occur with other behavior changes like going to the gym, improving your diet, and setting boundaries. It can also happen with behavioral addictions like eating disorders or sex addiction. Long-term behavior change can be difficult to maintain, especially with alcohol or drug abuse. In fact, 40 to 60% of people who’ve gotten sober will relapse at least once. Addiction is a chronic, relapsing disease, so don’t throw in the towel on your sobriety if you’ve relapsed. You’re not alone, and you can come out of it for the better. Here are some suggestions on what to do when you relapse in addiction recovery: #1 Forgive Yourself First of all, have empathy and compassion for yourself. You are human. Everyone has difficult moments and makes choices they regret. Addiction is a disease that wants you to be alone and wants you to start drinking or using drugs again. You’re fighting a difficult battle, and relapse can be a part of that process. #2 Lean on Your Support System Do not let shame stop you from reaching out to your support network. Being alone is not how to deal with relapse in recovery. Your support system may include friends, family, therapists, spiritual helpers, or sponsors. They don’t want to see you slip further, and they want to help you. Now it’s more important than ever to diligently attend meetings like Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, or SMART Recovery. These recovery groups support and normalize the difficulties in addiction recovery, which can ease the shame, disappointment, and isolation you may be feeling. Talk about what was going on before, during, or after the relapse. The more you talk about it and bring it to light, the more it loosens its grip on you. #3 Acknowledge Emotions and Behaviors It is important to acknowledge the thoughts and behaviors that led you to this point. Awareness is one of the most important aspects of implementing change. It is crucial after a slip in consistency to look at what played a role in relapse. Increasing awareness will help you avoid becoming immersed in the cycle that keeps relapse going and increases emotional pain. Identifying and feeling guilt, shame, and resentment can decrease them. You can only heal pain when you feel it. Process these emotions with a therapist or other support resources. Guilt and shame can occur after a relapse due to fear of judgment or because of the expectations that you’ve put on yourself. #4 Reframe and Refocus Reframe your relapse and refocus on recovery goals. Remind yourself why you went to alcohol and drug abuse treatment to begin with. If your internal motivation is not enough right now to reclaim recovery, reflect on what you stand to lose from drug or alcohol addiction — what it took away from you, and what you worked hard to get back in recovery. This might include: Remind yourself of what you do have, and what you are grateful for. Think about realistic goals you can work toward and how you can use this experience to learn and grow in recovery. #5 Change Things Around Do something different in your recovery. There is no end to the changes we can make in our lives to improve our emotions and situation. Some changes may include: Trying new things can help improve your view of life and confidence. Relapse can be a part of recovery, but it does not have to dictate your recovery. It can be difficult to get back on track. You may feel low about yourself in the process. However, relapse is not the end. Use the resources you have and keep fighting. Is Returning to Treatment Necessary? Not all addiction relapses require a return to an intensive inpatient rehab situation. If your relapse was more of what some recovery communities define as a “slip,” you may just need a “tune up” and a stronger relapse prevention plan. This will be different for everyone, but might include things like: In some cases, checking yourself into a residential drug rehab center could be the best course of action. If your relapse on alcohol and drugs was not a one-time event where you immediately felt regret; you’ve fallen back into your old lifestyle; or you aren’t doing any of the things you know will get you back on track, having some time and space away from triggers to focus on yourself and getting better may be necessary. We Can Help If you or a loved one has relapsed, contact Footprints to Recovery for a free, confidential consultation. We use evidence-based addiction treatments and focus on building the skills and practices that support long-term recovery. We view addiction relapse as an opportunity to learn, not a failure, and we’ll help you emerge back into sobriety, stronger and happier. Our substance abuse treatment centers offer: Give us a call. We understand what you’re going through, and we can help. References
Reclaim Your Energy in the New Year
Waking up to snow falling swiftly outside my window a few years ago, I rolled over to check my phone in hopes that I would be greeted by a text revealing that I did not have to trek through the winter wonderland outside my window and venture to work that day. To my surprise, my wish was granted – and I sighed in relief as I sunk back down into my bed, finally being permitted to take a day to rest. . . It was the first day I was able to rest in months and I could barely move. Working two jobs that I was whole-heartedly devoted to left me with little time to care for or connect to me. In my state of exhaustion, I realized that I had been neglecting the most important relationship in my life – the one I hadn’t created with myself. I was in a state of doing and never took the time to slow down, soften and just be. In that moment I made a commitment to me; the person I often had the hardest time keeping a commitment to. My resolution was to reclaim my energy – to create time and space to care for and honor myself. On my quest to reignite my energy and light I decided to go inward – to reconnect with my needs; strengthening my mind, spirit and body. Here are seven ways that I reignited internal energy reserves: 1. Meditation – Engage in a daily meditation practice. Meditation allows me to let go of my roles and responsibilities and creates space to just “be” with me. Its through meditation that we become more in tune with our inner process. If you’re more of a “do-er” start meditating at night as a way to wind down and complete the day. If you need a little more inspiration to get your day moving, meditation can help set your mind at ease and gain focus for the day ahead. 2. Exercise– Daily movement is essential for well-being. Ask yourself if you are honoring your body’s need to move on a daily basis. Yoga helped me reconnect my mind body, breath and spirit. Most importantly it taught me how to breathe and to honor my body (my oldest friend) by moving with my breath every day. 3. Diet– Start looking at food as fuel. Ask yourself – what can I put in my body that is going to make me feel the best and give me the best results? Engage in mindful eating. I chose veganism because eating fresh, leafy greens, fruits and vegetables fill me with energy and light. I no longer crave foods that don’t support my physical well-being 4. Relationships– Tighten up your circle of friends. Are you spending time with people who energize you or those who drain your emotional reserves? I made a conscious effort to spend time with friends who are uplifting, make me laugh until I cry and adhere to my desire to uphold wellness; mind, body and spirit. 5. Spirituality- Connect to a higher power, whatever that may be for you. Connection with something greater increased my capacity for faith and hope in all that I do. 6. Nature- Get outside. Spend time with mother nature every day. Whether it be a walk on your lunch break or a hike in the woods. Human beings are animals after all, and we require time to feel in tune with Earth. I feel most alive when I am breathing fresh, clean air surrounded by the beauty of our planet. 7. Reboot- Find something that you love to do. Do you love to draw, read, write, cook, sing opera, play an instrument? Make time each week to do something that makes you, you. I found that when I became curious about my interests, I found more of them and making space for them made me happier as I was getting to know myself. In reclaiming my energy, I stumbled on a journey to cultivate self-love. I found pieces of myself that I had neglected for far too long. I found fuel to drive me. I now recognize the sense of wholeness that comes from linking mind, body and spirit. In 2018, let love go inward first – then we can be an expression of glowing energy and inspire those around us to do the same. Author: Chelsea A. Hoagland, MSW, LSW – Footprints to Recovery – Substance Abuse Counselor
Without Realistic Goals, You Might Fail: Here’s Why
Change is a big word, and a successful recovery requires a great deal of it. That thought can be overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. It does, however, require some strategies. One of the best ways to bring about change in your life is to learn to set realistic goals. A personal goal differs from a dream or a wish in some specific ways. A wish or a dream does not demand any action or effort on your part. “I wish I could win the lottery” is a perfectly valid wish, just as, “I dream about having grandchildren one day” is a perfectly nice dream. Neither of these is a goal, though, because the outcome is not at all within your sphere of influence. In other words, there’s nothing you can do to make it happen. A goal is a wish that makes demands on you—that’s wholly dependent on you to achieve it. Why Is It Important to Set Goals? The process of setting goals is key in recovery because it is the first step to taking control of the outcome. Goals help you gain control of your life, and the more of your own life you control, the more your life will look the way you want it to. Goal-setting puts you in the driver’s seat on the way to your future. To begin the process of setting goals, divide them into categories. This can help you set goals that are both relevant and balanced, so you don’t run the risk of burning out on one goal (such as attending two 12-step meetings per week) or category while neglecting other areas of your life (such as your job or your partner). Here are some examples of goal categories: Professional – Goals related to your career could be getting a new job, asking for a raise, training for a new line of work, pursuing a degree, or changing your profession altogether. Spiritual – Examples could be finding a house of worship that feels welcoming, beginning a meditation practice, or practicing gratitude each day. Financial – Financial goals might include creating and maintaining a household budget, reducing unnecessary spending, or paying off a debt. Relationship – Interpersonal goals are things like designating a date night once a week with your partner, committing to calling your parent(s) once a week, or making time to get together with friends. Health – Goals that support your wellness might include taking a walk every day, committing to meatless Mondays, or cutting back on processed foods. There are many more possibilities for your goal-setting categories. Choose categories that are meaningful to you and in sync with the areas in your life you want to give attention to. In addition to categories, your list can be divided into long-term and short-term goals. Are Your Goals SMART? In 1981 George T. Doran first used the acronym SMART to describe criteria for effective goal-setting. A SMART goal is one that is: Specific Measurable Achievable Realistic Time-bound As the concept of SMART goals has become more common, some have added the letters “E” and “R” for “Exciting” and “Recorded.” When considering your goals, ask yourself if each of these words can be applied to your goal. These elements increase your chances of actually reaching the goal you set. For example, “My goal is to lose weight” is not a SMART goal. “My goal is to lose 8 to 10 lbs. in the next 2 months” is a far better goal, as it is specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound—as well as giving you a bit of flexibility. Goals are not meant to make you feel bad. The purpose of goal-setting is to bring clarity and motivation, and to help you prioritize. If you feel overwhelmed by your goals, then they might need to be SMARTER! Creating Your Action Plan Once you have a handle on your goals, the next step is to put them into action. Often there is a gap between what we want for ourselves and where we are now. The way to get from here to there is to have a clear plan of action. The elements of a good action plan are: Motivation – How can I stay motivated to move toward my goals every day? Accessibility – Are there easy and reasonable steps I can take along the way? Immediacy – Is there something I can do right now to get me closer to my goals? Now that you have a goal-setting mindset, follow these steps and get some goals: Take inventory of where you are now and where you would like to be – Divide your life into categories, and set goals according to the areas you wish to strengthen. Envision your life as if you have already achieved your goals – Use the power of your mind to imagine what your life will look life in the aftermath. Write down your goals – You might want to use a goal-oriented planner (like this one) to easily track your progress. There are many others on the market. Break down your goals into small, actionable, achievable pieces – Even within each category, break down your goals into bite-sized pieces at first, so you can start to experience some achieved goals. Each time you succeed, you are more likely to try again. Be flexible – Be prepared to gently revise your goals if your success journal reflects that you are not reaching your milestones. That’s okay! Try, flex, forgive, repeat. Make a vision board – Create or find images that show how your life will look when you have reached your goals. This could be a house, money representing a well-paying job, a happy family, etc. Put your vision board where you can see it often, so your goals stay fresh in your mind at all times. Value this process – Keep in mind that you are setting your goals for one person: your! Their purpose is designing your life in a better way.
How to Navigate the Holidays Clean & Sober
The holidays can be magical. Spending time with friends and family, traveling, parties, traditions and customs… These may be wonderful for lots of people, but if you’re recovering from addiction, they can also be stressful. Being away from your support network and routines could lead you away from your path of recovery. Holiday customs, memories, and events associated with alcohol and other drugs could lead to thoughts of using and maybe even a relapse. Avoiding Relapse During the Holidays Is Difficult During the holiday season, you’re likely to be invited to one or two holiday parties. These parties almost always include alcohol. When you are in recovery, being around alcohol can make it difficult to avoid relapse because seeing others drink might remind you of drinking or using drugs. Also, having alcohol available to you makes it very accessible for you to drink. Plus, others in your circle—friends, and even family—may not understand addiction and encourage you to drink or use drugs. The holidays are also a challenging time because being around family members can cause stress or strife. If using drugs or alcohol was your go-to for stress reduction, then feeling stressed may make you want to relapse. Besides family stress, the financial pressures of buying gifts or traveling may also arise. Feeling the burden of stretched finances can lead to thoughts of the substance that once brought you relief. 10 Tips to Help You Avoid Relapse During the Holiday Season 1. Plan Ahead Prepare how you will support your sobriety. Schedule time for attending 12-step or other support meetings before or after holiday events. If you meet with a therapist, set up a time to get together before your events or after them. And if you’re in formal addiction treatment, keep your sessions on your schedule, so they don’t slip your mind during this busy season. If you are traveling, look up 12-step or other recovery meetings near your destination. When it comes to attending seasonal events, prepare an “exit plan,” which can include an excuse that allows you to leave early if you start to feel uncomfortable or out of control. If you have a friend in recovery or a sponsor, invite them along with you to holiday events to be a source of support and fun and to help keep you from being tempted to drink or use. 2. Understand the Emotional Complexity of the Holidays The holidays are emotionally complex for most people, including people who don’t struggle with addiction. This is because there are usually many family engagements that bring together varied personality types and perhaps baggage from past disagreements and experiences. Navigating the family dynamics of who likes who, who is mad at who, etc. can be a headache and emotionally draining. For a person in recovery, this can be amplified, as your past behaviors when you were using could have caused strife within the family (on top of all the other potential family dynamic issues). To confront this and understand how it impacts your recovery journey, talk to people in your recovery support group (or a therapy professional) about what the holidays mean to you. What are the family dynamics and emotions that you attach to them? Prepare for holiday celebrations by working with your sponsor or therapist in advance to get a sense of how to process your feelings around the holidays. Also, put together strategies to prepare yourself emotionally and gather ideas for how to avoid family members who may be too triggering for you. 3. Be Transparent Those around you may not understand what it means to be an addict. It can be easy for some to think that “one drink won’t hurt.” Be transparent with friends and family about your sobriety and what it means to be an addict in recovery. This can help them better understand why you choose not to drink or use drugs, even during fun, upbeat times like the holidays. Plus, understanding your situation can help them become an ally to you in your sobriety. 4. Take Time to Check in with Yourself It may be overwhelming to be with your family or at holiday parties, even if you have a sober buddy or sponsor with you. This is especially true if it’s your first holiday being sober. You may start to feel overwhelmed, anxious, or angry. That’s natural, but those emotions can also lead to relapse. It’s okay to take time to yourself—away from the group— to check in with your feelings and assess what you need. 5. Reach Out for Support The holidays are stressful! If you’ve checked in on your feelings and found that you need help, don’t hesitate to reach out for it. “Help” may come in the form of a sponsor, a loved one, or a friend. Reach out to someone who understands your past and sympathizes with what you’re feeling. You may want to consider attending a group therapy session or support group meeting during the holiday. Attending one of these groups can help put you in a good frame of mind when spending time with others. Starting or going back to addiction treatment is also an option. An intensive outpatient or basic outpatient program can match your schedule, so you can receive support while keeping up with your plans and responsibilities. 6. Focus on Others Being in recovery, a basic tenet of 12-step work or increasing spirituality is to give back—to look outside of yourself and serve others. How can you do that? Try: When you give back, we switch from thinking about yourself and your issues and gain perspective on the bigger picture of what others are going through. Any time you shift your focus to others in a selfless way, you connect with others on a deeper level. This practice enhances your spiritual connection and your own spiritual condition. 7. Keep Track of What You Are Drinking This may seem silly, but it’s very easy in a party atmosphere to accidentally pick up someone
5 Sober Gifts to Give Yourself
Recovery is all about transforming the feeling that you’re just existing in the world to actively living and engaging in it. Giving yourself sobriety gifts can be an excellent way to celebrate your milestones. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration defines recovery as a “process of change through which people improve their health and wellness, live self-directed lives, and strive to reach their full potential.” In addiction recovery, we offer strength to ourselves in the form of self-compassion. We learn in active addiction that a “tough love approach “or being hypercritical of our faults and shortcomings does not bring about the rapid resolution we’re seeking. The biggest recovery gift is opportunity. The opportunity to show up like we want and make time for what brings us purpose and fulfillment. In recovery, we treat ourselves as a priority, not an option in our own life. #1 The Gift of Gratitude Focusing on what we think isn’t good enough or our qualities we don’t appreciate almost comes naturally. This pattern of highlighting our perceived faults doesn’t generate change and is often full of shame. Learning to appreciate what we have and focus on our strengths is a powerful sobriety gift we can give to ourselves. One message of 12-step programs is to clean up our side of the street so we can bring focus back to ourselves. This practice of gratitude can fuel the belief that today we have the gift of another opportunity to show up for ourselves and others in a way we can appreciate in our sober life. #2 Sobriety Gift of Physical Health Physical health is often not at the forefront of our minds during active use. There is a significant toll on the body from the lack of nutrient dense food, consistent sleep schedule, and exercise. Meal planning and regular exercise are sobriety gifts we can give ourselves each day to repair the damage done from neglecting our physical health. Developing a consistent routine, eating enough nutrient-rich meals, and getting the appropriate hours of sleep and physical activity are critical for recovery. Identifying classes or gyms to attend can be a great gift to yourself on your sobriety birthday / anniversary. #3 Sobriety Gift of Healthy Relationships As Alcoholics Anonymous states, “We don’t have relationships, we take hostages.” In active addiction, it’s impossible to have a healthy relationship with another person while sustaining the relationship to our addiction. Removing the substance and achieving recovery creates space for emotional intimacy where there was a lack of previously. Intimacy comes from emotional connection with another person where healthy relationship boundaries are formed and enforced. The boundaries that became blurred during active use are reestablished in recovery with more defined expectations surrounding them. Having a relationship with another person that is consistent, predictable, and reciprocated is an incredible gift that is powerful enough to fuel your recovery. #4 Sobriety Gift of Identity People often lose themselves in drug or alcohol addiction, pulling away from their values and what defines their identity. When they enter recovery, they struggle with the idea of, “who am I now?” A gift of recovery is having the ability to define who you’re becoming. Many people find a recovery identity through 12-step support groups such Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA). Identity is critical because it provides a sense of direction and intentionality in our actions. Each moment is now purposeful and intentional, making the gift of recovery all encompassing. #5 Sobriety Gift of Honesty The stress and worry of keeping track of who you told what can be exhausting. The double life we lead to fulfill the desires of our addiction comes at a cost to ourselves and others. Lying is a hallmark symptom of addiction, and we become so skillful at it that we often don’t see we’re lying to ourselves. When you adopt an attitude of rigorous honesty, it allows you to offer yourself compassion, understanding your behaviors and actions were symptoms of the disease, not your character. Through honesty, we reestablish trust with those close to us and begin repairing the relationships we hold closely. We learn to trust our own assessments and perceptions of ourselves and others. Honesty means we don’t worry about keeping our stories straight because there are no more stories we need to track. Rigorous honesty can remove what feels like the weight of the world from your shoulders. Celebrating recovery is giving yourself the gift of self-appreciation and treating yourself with the same love and energy you’d give another. It’s the gift that’s renewed each day and can be reinforced through consistent attendance and participation in the 12-step community.
How To Love Yourself When You’re Hurting
The Hurt: Several years ago, a blindsiding betrayal left me feeling utterly devastated. I felt alone, empty and more depressed than I ever had in my life. I felt utterly worthless, and on top of that, I felt ashamed for feeling worthless. I felt empty like nothing could ever fill the void within. I felt like nothing mattered. I was so sick and tired of feeling so sick and tired that I begged and prayed for the pain to just go away. I wanted to push it deep down within me. I wanted to numb it out. I wanted to just pretend like everything was ok. I filled my downtime with things that I thought would make me happy. I filled my downtime with things that I thought would make me happy, distracting from the pain and sorrow that I felt daily; ultimately ignoring my real needs along the way. For some time, I was lost, bitter and worse than all, angry. I couldn’t seem to figure out how to fill myself up with light and positivity. I was stuck in the dark abyss of devastation, betrayal and loss. The self-love and care that I had been practicing for years was a distant memory . . . One Day At A Time: Through my personal journey and recovery from addiction I gained many valuable lessons, but none more important than ONE DAY AT A TIME. In the depths of my self-destruction and hate, this lesson came to me again. I went back to what previously saved me, both personally and professionally, and began living my life with the simple motto and premise of ONE DAY AT A TIME. Meetings make it. I started attending more meetings, spent more time on the phone with my sponsor and began to pray. God has always been a part of my life but living each day the way I should meant God became a critical part of each day through prayer and meditation. Little by little, one slow day at a time, I began to open up to the knowledge that no one else was going to get me out of my pain. I had to start showing up for myself. The Change: I began my positive journey forward by first taking care of my body. I started to eat more, to sleep when I felt tired, to get out into the fresh air. Then almost in response, I started to take care of my mind. The negative self-talk; “you’re not worth it” was met with a challenge; “you are!”. I saw that my negative self-perception was stemming from false beliefs, false beliefs that formed out of my pain and sorrow. The truth then began to unfold. We have the ability to define our own happiness. We deserve a partner who won\’t bail without warning when the times get tough. We deserve to be loved truly. We deserve to be respected and valued. We deserve transparency and honesty. I began to fill myself back up, my self-love was no longer a distant memory. Whenever the waves of pain came on I cried and held myself, without shame or guilt. I was longing for love but rather than searching for it in things or people, I began to give it to myself. Nothing Worth Having Comes Easy Loving yourself isn’t always rainbows and butterflies. Some days I sunk back into a depressed state where I forgot who I really was and what I was really capable of. And then I woke up and remembered that I must be there for myself, as well as those closest and dearest to me. I found that ultimately I felt abandoned, so I swore to never abandon myself. You don’t choose yourself once and then it’s over. You must continue to show up for yourself in every moment, the difficult ones and the easy ones, one day at a time. Self-love means taking care of you. It is honoring and respecting you. It is having the courage to face your emotions, dig deeply but doing so with gentle care. Learning to love yourself doesn’t mean you never feel bad again. It doesn’t mean that you won’t feel pain anymore. This is constant and continuous work that has the ability to heal. It’s the bravest, most important work one can do for them self.
Improve the Moment With DBT
One of the challenges of addiction recovery is learning to cope with stress and triggers in healthy ways. In the past, drugs and alcohol were likely your go-to for numbing difficult feelings or experiences. Developing healthy coping skills to deal with these issues is critical for long-term recovery. A therapeutic approach that’s proven helpful in regulating emotions and managing stress in people with addictions and-co-occurring mental health disorders is dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). A type of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), DBT helps you identify and change destructive thoughts and behaviors with mindfulness skills, emotion and distress regulation techniques, and ways to improve interpersonal effectiveness. Some clinicians have found DBT improves: Research shows dialectical behavior therapy can also be particularly effective when treating people with suicidal thoughts or mental health conditions like borderline personality disorder, and recently it’s shown promise for people with bipolar disorder, complex post-traumatic stress disorder, and eating disorders. One DBT technique that can help you with stress and anxiety before you get caught up in a cycle of negative emotions and triggered is the IMPROVE skill. The goal of this technique is to “improve the moment” by transforming the distressing situation and emotions into more positive ones. This can make difficult experiences and emotions less intense, so you’re better able to tolerate them and not feel the urge to numb through drugs and alcohol. Depressed and anxious thoughts are often underlying issues of substance abuse. “Racing thoughts, obsessions, and worry are common symptoms of anxiety,” said Stephanie Pruefer, a licensed professional counselor and certified alcohol drug counselor who often uses DBT in her work. “If we are able to use skills to calm these symptoms, anxiety can actually help to motivate our behavior and facilitate change in our life.” Below are seven examples of ways to use the DBT IMPROVE the moment technique to improve distress tolerance: #1 Imagery Imagery can help guide thoughts and emotions into a calm and relaxed state. There are many ways to do this. One way Pruefer suggests is to imagine yourself in a safe place where you feel comforted, supported, validated, and internally at peace. Another approach is to visualize working toward goals and aspirations. You can also imagine something humorous and light-hearted. For example: It may sound silly, but if you pay attention to positive imagery, it can distract you from worrisome thoughts. #2 Meaning Finding the positivity in distress doesn’t mean you are denying the challenges of it, the goal is to simply find a way to “improve the moment” by using ways to feel better and deal with the difficult situation and feelings. “Finding purpose and perspective in overwhelming times can help decrease hopelessness,” said Pruefer. Questions she sometimes asks her clients to consider: Answers to these questions can help you refocus and think about the situation on a deeper level. #3 Prayer Whether you identify as religious, spiritual, or neither, prayer can be beneficial for dealing with stress and intense emotions and find meaning in them. Mentally releasing intense emotional experiences can help decrease negative feelings that can lead to relapse. “Praying to a higher power or any force outside of yourself can help decrease loneliness and hopelessness in situations,” said Pruefer. “If you struggle with higher power or religious practices, try speaking out loud to yourself. You could also journal these thoughts and emotions as another outlet.” #4 Relax Relaxation can help: “Planned activities could include a bubble bath, getting a massage, manicure or pedicure, or doing something you enjoy,” said Pruefer. “If you need to relax with short notice or on a budget, try using essential oils for calming lotion — spearmint, eucalyptus, or lavender, light a candle, take a short walk, stretch out your legs or arms, or try four square belly breathing.” To do this: #5 One Thing at a Time Being in the “now” allows you to let go of anger, shame, and worry about the past and future, where ruminating increases suffering. Pruefer suggests grounding yourself by: #6 Vacation This skill refers to mental vacations rather than geographical vacations. Try taking a mini break from the presenting stressor. Give yourself five to 10 minutes to take a mental vacation and focus on improving the moment. Some examples of what you could do include: #7 Encouragement Be nice to yourself. Instead of cycling through negative thinking patterns, try saying things like: “Self-affirmations can help improve our sense of self-confidence, which could decrease overall anxiety and fear,” said Pruefer. “If you’re engaging in negative self-talk, ask yourself if you would talk to your best friend this way.” How DBT Helps in Addiction Recovery Stress, unhealthy thought patterns, and lack of coping skills are proven risk factors of addiction relapse. Dialectical behavior can serve you well in all of these areas. When faced with triggers, the techniques you learn in DBT can be an important part of your toolbox of recovery skills to draw upon. Addiction treatment centers like Footprints to Recovery offer DBT as just one of the evidence-based approaches used in substance abuse treatment and coping skills training. If mental health symptoms and unhealthy thinking patterns are getting in the way of your recovery, reach out for help. References
The Quest For Change
change /Chānj/ verb: make or become different noun: the act or instance of making or becoming different. Change, transformation, alteration … however one may choose to name it, can be seen all around us. Whether this change be taking public transportation rather than an Uber, making healthier lifestyle choices, or deciding to be a little more friendly to that colleague at work; more often than not we all have personal behaviors we wish we could adjust, stop, or start. From a young age we are introduced to change, some more often than others, and somewhere along the line we begin to form our own perceptions on the subject. Change: The mere mention of this word may cause some to feel uneasy. We often find ourselves resisting change, perhaps because of the perceived risk or fear associated with it. This resistance can be seen in the student who always finds himself or herself procrastinating, the ten-year smoker who keeps having one more, or the overly stressed boss who continues to add to his plate. It’s an interesting predicament we put ourselves in. So why do we have such a hard time initiating or following through with our desire to change? A renowned psychologist, James Prochaska proposed that we often find ourselves in the previously described predicaments as a result of our perception of change. Behavioral change is rarely a discrete or single event; however, we tend to view it in such a way. More often than not behavioral change occurs gradually, over time. The Transtheoretical Model of Behavior Change, created by Prochaska, identifies the various stages through which individuals move when attempting to adjust old habits or form new behaviors. A linear progression through the stages is not the norm. Individuals tend to move back and forth through the stages, re-cycling through them until the change becomes fully established. Why we have such a difficult time following through with desired change may perhaps be better understood through an exploration of Prochaska’s stages of change. As we come to gain knowledge behind the meaning and function of each stage we may gain a further understanding of where we stand in regards to our own progress. By identifying where we are in the process we can then shape and guide our goals to assist us in moving from one stage to the next. As you read through the following stages of change, I encourage you to consider what stage you may be in and what actions you might take to progress to the next.
