Holiday Triggers and Tips to avoid a holiday relapse
Twinkle lights all around, holiday songs playing on the radio, gatherings of friends and family… what’s not to love about the holiday season?!?! It is, as the song goes, “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!” It is also a time of year when those who suffer from substance use disorder are more prone to relapse. Many treatment centers report seeing a spike in admissions shortly after the holiday season. While getting help is important, staying clean and sober is something we all wish for in recovery and, can be achieved if you can identify your triggers. Holiday Work Parties A fun-filled night with coworkers that turns into the hangover of the century and embarrassing stories to be told on Monday morning. Raise your hand if this sounds familiar? While it’s true that holidays parties can be centered around alcohol and drugs, they don’t have to be. Tip – Plan before you go.
College Students Can Manage Back-to-School Relapse Triggers
In fall 2019, almost 20 million people will attend college in the United States. A little more than 12 million will go to school fulltime while about 7.8 million will be part-time students, according to the National Center for Education Statistics. For many of these people, heading back to school means a blur of activity colored with the promise of a fresh start. For students who are trying to live free from drugs and alcohol, the chance to start over is a huge gift. But college presents with various triggers for relapse to drug and alcohol use. According to the results from the 2014 National Survey on Drug Use and Health: Detailed Tables (NSDUH) about 33 percent of fulltime college students between the ages of 18 and 22 reported past-month binge drinking, and about 20 percent reported past-month use of an illicit drug. Here are some of the most common triggers for drinking and drug use in college, coupled with healthy coping mechanisms that can turn things around. 1: Academic Pressure Many people fear the perceived pressure that comes with college-level work: both the need to get good grades and the push to become a leader on campus in order to demonstrate expertise. Whether the goal is to transition into the workforce after graduation or to enroll in grad school, the need to get good grades and qualify for competitive academic programs is significant. Many students feel the pressure from the first day of their freshman year. Rather than attempt to relieve this pressure with binge drinking, college students can: Create a written plan for all the work they need to accomplish, starting with mapping out big projects and exams, and breaking down each one into actionable, bite-sized pieces. Get the sleep they need to be awake and aware during class. Recognize when a subject is difficult and ask for help from the professor and teaching assistants. Know when to say “no” to a commitment that is too intensive or will conflict with the ability to achieve higher priority objectives. 2: Social Pressure Feeling accepted by a community of peers on a social level can be just as stressful as academic pressure. If peers regularly drink or use drugs, it can be difficult to abstain and still feel a connection with the group. Instead of feeling like it’s necessary to be like the group and drink or get high, students can: Spend time with their peers when they are not drinking and getting high. Seek out new peer groups where substance abuse is not a focus. Try to connect with new friends on a one-on-one basis, where drinking and drug use will not be part of the experience. Connect with new people based on shared interests, like a sport or an extracurricular group. 3: Curiosity College is a time of exploration, and for many, first time use and/or regular use of substances begins during these years. According to the 2014 NSDUH, on an average day, about 7,000 fulltime college students tried alcohol or a drug for the first time. When substance use begins as a means of managing college stressors, it’s a serious problem. Rather than viewing substance abuse as a rite of passage, students can consider: The potential risks of a single use of any substance, especially one that is purchased off the street, as its makeup is virtually unknown. The high rate of addiction among those who use substances regularly for any reason. The life-changing risks associated with unsafe choices made under the influence. The recovery period after drinking and getting high and how it can impact academic performance. 4: Heartbreak Drugs and alcohol play a big role in the dating scene at college. Many people meet at parties and bars while under the influence, and it can have a significant impact on the value of the connection and the subsequent relationship. In any situation where substances play a role, there is the potential to “medicate” the ups and downs with more drugs and alcohol. Instead, students can: Look for romantic possibility with someone who does not drink or use drugs regularly. Find a commonality in a romantic partner that extends beyond a social group, such as shared interests or beliefs. Maintain strong friendships. Ask for help from a therapist or counselor if feelings become overwhelming. 5: Untreated Mental Health Symptoms Many significant mental health disorders begin during the late teens and early 20s. It is not always easy to identify confusing feelings and difficult responses to life as signs that there is something bigger going on. If life often becomes overwhelming or dramatic, and using drugs and alcohol to manage those feelings is the only way out, it might be time for students to: Seek the support of a therapist. Talk to family members who may be experiencing similar difficulties. Consider whether or not an addiction to drugs and alcohol has developed. Understand that treatment may need to include medication and/or treatment for a co-occurring addiction disorder. Are you concerned that drinking or drug use is becoming a problem? How can you manage triggers more healthfully?
What Is Relapse, and Why Does It Happen?
Relapse is a return to alcohol or drug use after being sober for a period of time. It is not unusual to relapse one or more times during recovery. It doesn’t mean addiction treatment didn’t work or that the individual is back to square one in their sobriety. Addiction is a chronic, relapsing disease, which means that a return to substance use after an attempt to get sober can be part of the recovery process. According to some research, 40 – 60% of people in recovery will relapse, which is around the same rate as other chronic, relapsing diseases such as hypertension or asthma. Like other chronic diseases, treatment is not a cure-all, but it can help manage addiction through therapies, medication, and healthy coping skills that may counteract effects on the brain and change destructive behaviors. Even with treatment, some people will relapse. Being aware of the reasons behind a return to drug and alcohol abuse is an important part of relapse prevention. Here are eight common causes of relapse: #1 Addiction Is a Chronic Disease Addiction has been misunderstood for many years as a choice instead of a disease. Becoming addicted to drugs or alcohol involves biological, behavioral, and environmental factors. Repeated substance abuse changes the brain. Some addiction experts have described it as the brain being hijacked by drugs or alcohol. Substance abuse works on the reward center of the brain. A healthy brain rewards us when we do healthy things that support our survival. A brain that’s been exposed to substance abuse rewards us for giving it more drugs and alcohol. The “rewiring” of some of the brain’s structural and functional parts makes it believe it needs substances for survival, just like it would food, water, and connections with others. That is why people who are addicted may act out of character, like stealing to support their drug or alcohol use. They have tunnel vision. Getting more substances to either experience the high or ward off withdrawal in the absence of drugs or alcohol is their focus above all else. Thankfully, the brain has neuroplasticity, which means it can change, adapt, and create new neural pathways. However, it takes time to repair the physical and mental damage of addiction. The longer an individual is in recovery, the more time for the brain to adjust to sobriety and return to a healthier reward system. However, the risk for relapse will always be present. Without treatment, aftercare, and a relapse prevention plan, biological addiction factors can lead to relapse. #2 Encounters With Triggers Substance abuse changes the brain in ways that make triggers feel impossible to walk away from. After repeated alcohol and drug abuse, the brain develops strong links between people, places, and things associated with substance use. These associations are so strong that just encountering addiction triggers activate the brain’s reward center in a way that creates powerful urges and cravings. Common relapse triggers include: #3 Withdrawal Symptoms Research shows that withdrawal symptoms can play a significant role in addiction relapse. This is the case when people try to go through drug or alcohol detox on their own as well as after longer periods of abstinence. Withdrawal symptoms depend on the substance abused, duration of abuse, and physical makeup, but can include uncomfortable, painful, and even dangerous conditions like: Without the help of medical professionals to ease withdrawal symptoms with research-backed medications and other approaches, it’s very hard to resist the urge to use drugs or alcohol to stop the discomfort that can accompany alcohol and drug detox. Though physical discomfort from drug or alcohol withdrawal usually gets better within days or weeks, psychological symptoms can linger for some time. This is known as post-acute withdrawal symptoms, or PAWS. The nervous system can take several months to rebalance itself. The result is sometimes symptoms like: The severity of these symptoms varies for people recovering from drug or alcohol abuse. Research shows that people can be more susceptible to triggers during this period and are at the highest risk of relapse. #4 Lack of Recovery Support Addiction recovery is a life-long pursuit that requires permanent lifestyle changes and healthy practices to keep up. People without critical support are more vulnerable to relapse. The National Institute on Drug Abuse recommends components of drug addiction treatment and recovery practices that can be part of a comprehensive relapse prevention plan, which supports long-term sobriety. Some of these include: Supportive Loved Ones Research shows that when people in recovery perceive they have the support of family, it decreases their risk of relapse. In the absence of family support, close friends and peers in recovery can play a significant role in long-term sobriety. Recovery Groups Support groups like 12-step based Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous provide accountability and peer support in sobriety. This same type of support can be found in alternatives to the 12 Steps like SMART Recovery or Refuge Recovery. Continued Care Research shows people that continue with some form of aftercare upon completing addiction treatment are more likely to stay sober. However, many individuals who complete rehab do not follow through with aftercare treatment recommendations, putting them at risk for relapse. Aftercare resources provide extended care after treatment and may include: Therapy Individual therapy sessions with a behavioral health professional helps people in recovery continue working on underlying issues that contribute to substance abuse. Trauma, unhealthy attachment styles, and other behavioral health issues can take several years to identify, manage, and change. Being aware of these challenges and continuing to work on them can mitigate the drive to self-medicate with drugs and alcohol. Research has shown that a cognitive behavioral therapy approach is particularly beneficial for people recovering from substance abuse. #5 Poor Self-Care Lack of sleep and other poor self-care habits have been linked to addiction relapse. Poor self-care can also serve as a relapse warning sign to loved ones, as people in active addiction often let hygiene, nutrition, and other healthy habits go by the wayside.
What to Do When a Loved One Relapses
Watching a loved one relapse can be gut-wrenching. It’s normal to experience a flood of emotions. You may feel angry, sad, scared, and resentful. You thought this was behind your family, and now, here you are again. The fact is, relapse happens a lot, and it doesn’t mean that your loved one is doomed to a life of addiction. “It’s easy to become frustrated by your loved one’s repeated attempts to stop using drugs and alcohol,” said Agy Wielechowski, a case manager at Footprints to Recovery. “It’s very easy to think that if they wanted to stop, they would just stop. It may seem that simple in the mind of someone who has never struggled with addiction, but it isn’t that simple at all. In fact, drug and alcohol relapse is a common part of addiction recovery.” If you’re wondering what to say to someone who relapsed or what to do when someone relapses, read these 5 important tips. #1 Don’t Blame or Shame The person who has relapsed is likely feeling a lot of shame already. Adding to that will do no good. Research shows that people who relapse may experience the abstinence violation effect. This is the clinical term used when an individual experiences such strong feelings of shame, guilt, and failure when they relapse that they figure they might as well just turn in the towel and head straight back into active addiction. Piling on the shame or blame may just exacerbate this feeling for your loved one. Focusing on the fact that a substance use disorder is a disease that changes the brain may help you feel more compassionate in a situation where anger and frustration are understandably often knee-jerk reactions. If you haven’t struggled with addiction, it’s hard to comprehend just how strongly substance abuse can hijack the brain, making it extremely difficult to stop using drugs or alcohol. It’s not just a matter of willpower. “Addiction takes over the survival part of the brain, and the substance being abused becomes so central in a person’s life that all their energy, thoughts, and time are consumed by it,” said Wielechowski. “The parts of the brain that are critical to decision-making and behavior control are also changed by repeated substance use. Quitting can be very difficult, even for those who feel ready.” #2 Address Your Feelings Allow yourself to feel the many emotions around your loved one’s addiction relapse. Don’t judge your emotions. They’re all valid. Express them in healthy ways without taking them out on your loved one. Give yourself some space before you speak with your loved one about their relapse. “Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm,” said Wielechowski. “You are allowed to walk away and take a time out. Remember to breathe, and focus on some self-care steps you can take to feel better.” Some healthy ways to cope with strong emotions: Once the emotions from your loved one’s alcohol or drug relapse feel less raw and intense, try to speak with them about it. It’s okay to express your feelings to them, but do so in a way that doesn’t cast blame. Using “I” words is a good rule of thumb. For example: What not to say to someone who relapsed: What to say to someone who relapsed: “A drug or alcohol relapse is not the end, and it does not mean that treatment has ‘failed,’” Wielechowski. Always remember to take a step back and gauge the situation. Don’t assume that this misstep will cause your loved one’s or your entire life to be destroyed.” #3 Keep Healthy Boundaries Seeing your loved one struggle with addiction is tough. Holding your boundaries when someone relapses may feel like kicking them when they’re down, but that’s not the case. There’s a difference between supporting and enabling. If you’re wondering what to do when someone relapses, this is at the top of the list. Keeping healthy boundaries right now can mean the difference between them getting the substance abuse treatment they need or spiraling further into a relapse. The main message that comes across with boundaries is that you love them and support them, but you will not support their self-destructive behaviors like alcohol and drug abuse. Boundaries for addicted people look different depending on the situation, but common ones include: Let your loved one know you want to be the first person they call when they’re ready to attend substance abuse treatment and get back on track, but you love them too much to enable the behaviors that are contributing to their addiction. “The recovery process can be a hard and long road, but with time and the proper tools, you and your loved one can heal,” said Wielechowski. “Drug and alcohol relapse is a completely natural part of addiction, and it is never your fault.” #4 Encourage Them to Get Help A relapse doesn’t always mean a return to drug rehab is necessary. However, it usually means some form of substance abuse treatment is a good idea. Support groups for sobriety like SMART Recovery (smartrecovery.org) differentiate between a relapse and a slip. They consider a slip to be a brief, one-time event that couldn’t be foreseen. This could include a brief slip into substance abuse as a reaction to things like a job loss, death of a loved one, or being blindsided by a trigger. SMART Recovery considers a relapse to be drug or alcohol abuse that continues for days or weeks when people fall into past patterns like hanging out with “drug friends,” missing support groups, and feeling “homesick” for their old lifestyle. With a slip, you’re loved one might just need to increase their individual therapy sessions, attend more recovery support groups, or look into an outpatient program that meets two to three times a week in the day or evenings. If their return to drugs and alcohol looks more like a relapse where they have moved back into active addiction and old lifestyle habits, a return
Learning Life Skills in Addiction Treatment
Ideally, throughout adolescence and young adult life you develop skills that help you deal with difficulties and build resilience. You modify those skills as you continue to grow and experience change. If you’ve struggled with alcohol and drug abuse, you may have either missed out on the opportunity to develop life skills during younger years, or drugs and alcohol have gotten in the way of your ability to self-manage, adapt to change, and develop these capabilities. A lack of life skills can get in the way of your sobriety. That’s why addiction treatment centers emphasize the necessary tools and resources needed to build healthy and positive life skills. A critical component of relapse prevention is learning or re-learning life skills in recovery. Often called “life skills training,” most drug rehabs offer opportunities to practice life skills in recovery as part of their addiction treatment program. This may include anything from building a resume and practicing interview techniques to learning to manage mental health challenges and maintaining healthy relationships. Addiction treatment centers typically have several life skills activities for adults in recovery that cover critical areas like: Healthy Coping Skills When you’re abusing drugs or alcohol, your ability to cope in a healthy way deteriorates, chipping away at your resiliency. Alcohol and drug addiction sometimes serve as coping mechanisms for people who struggle with difficulties like: In drug or alcohol rehab, you’ll learn healthy habits for managing stress, regulating emotions, and dealing with social, emotional, and relational challenges. Structure and Routine During your days of substance abuse, you probably didn’t have much structure to your life. Getting or using drugs or thinking about them occupied your time and dictated how you spent it. Sobriety can leave a void that drugs and alcohol previously filled. That’s why it’s critical to establish a daily routine in addiction recovery. Idle time can lead to boredom, which is a known risk factor of relapse. An addiction treatment program will teach you about the importance of: Self-Care Practicing self-care probably wasn’t at the top of your list when you were using drugs or alcohol. Both your physical and mental health likely took a beating. Taking care of yourself is an integral part of recovery. At alcohol and drug rehabs, life skills activities for adults in recovery include education on ways to practice self-care. Some ways to take good care of yourself: Vocational or Educational Pursuits Having a plan in place for how you’ll spend much of your time after addiction or mental health treatment is an essential life skill in recovery. Studies show that being employed significantly reduces the risk of addiction relapse. If you’re not working right now, going to school or having a volunteer position can provide the same sense of purpose and self-reliance as a job. One of the focuses of outpatient treatment is sometimes helping you figure out these next steps. Staff may help you create a resume and get interviews or fill out school applications. Practical Skills Life skills for recovering addicts also include learning or re-learning practical skills needed in everyday life. If you have a substance use disorder, you may have spent days, months, or maybe even years living for your addiction. Your primary concern was reaching that high or finding that next hit. This can cause you to lose sight of daily responsibilities, such as paying your bills on time, going to work, and taking care of yourself physically and mentally. Training on practical skills is typically part of the day-to-day programming in residential addiction treatment. This may include things like creating a budget and managing finances or planning and preparing meals. Some alcohol and drug rehabs give clients a budget and have them shop for groceries and help prepare meals. This is also the case in many sober-living residences. Social Skills It can be daunting to think of social situations and relationships without drugs or alcohol. It may have been quite some time since you’ve been sober in a social situation. Addiction treatment programs usually provide many opportunities for you to practice being sober and social. For instance, often there are recreation opportunities and outings, so you can get a feel for connecting and having fun without drugs or alcohol. Communication Skills It’s important to learn new ways of communicating to support healthy relationships in recovery. Group therapy will help you learn how to communicate effectively as well as how others perceive you. Family therapy can also be a critical component of learning healthy communication. You may find some people in your life present the same communication problems as you’ve had with loved ones. In both group and family therapy you’ll learn about conflict resolution and ways of relating to others that are supportive and helpful. Knowing When to Get Help Another important life skill in sobriety is knowing when you need help. Being in tune with yourself and your recovery and realizing when you’re at risk of relapse is critical. If you feel like drugs and alcohol are becoming a real option, reach out to a sponsor, loved one, therapist, or recovery center so you can head off a relapse before it happens. References
5 Reasons to Take a Break from Dating in Early Recovery
Sobriety can leave a lot of space in your life that was formerly filled by drugs and alcohol. It’s tempting to fill that space with the excitement of a new relationship, but early sobriety and relationships don’t often mix well. Recovery can be fulfilling and gratifying, but it’s also hard work, and adding dating into recovery can make that work harder. Right now your time is better spent focusing on yourself, gaining back your sense of self and learning healthy coping skills. What Is Early Recovery? There’s no hard-and-fast rule for what’s considered early recovery, but the general consensus is that the first 90 days of sobriety are especially critical. The risk of relapse can be high during this vulnerable time. Many people believe that, in general, the first year of recovery is toughest. It’s normal to struggle with the transition back into everyday life without drugs or alcohol, and it takes a while to hit your stride in recovery, knowing what you need to stay healthy and prevent relapse. Why Not Date in Early Recovery? One of the most common early sobriety tips is to hold off on relationships after rehab. There’s good reason for that. Dating too soon after getting sober can: 1. Replace Your Addiction As you probably learned in addiction treatment, your drug and alcohol abuse were symptoms of something else. You may have misused substances as a way to self-soothe mental health issues, trauma, or unhealthy relationships. Hopefully, you’ve begun to work through those underlying issues and you’re learning healthier ways to cope with emotional pain. Human nature is to seek out good experiences and feelings and avoid negative ones. A new relationship can feel good. It can activate the same reward chemicals in the brain that substances do. Studies show intense romantic love can mimic symptoms of substance abuse and other addictions, including: Craving Euphoria Physical and emotional dependence Tolerance Withdrawal Relapse Devoting all your time and energy to another person can serve the same unhealthy purpose(s) that drugs and alcohol did, if you’re not careful. It can evolve into a love or sex addiction. Your best bet is to stay single and sober until you get a stronger foothold in recovery. 2. Distract from Recovery Work Navigating everyday life and the triggers it brings is especially challenging in the first year of recovery. Outpatient treatment, support groups, and therapy are all critical as you transition back into real-life situations. Stocking your recovery toolbox with healthy coping skills is also an important focus. During the new days of a relationship, your attention naturally goes to the other person. You’re busy getting to know their likes and dislikes, their background and hopes for the future. It’s easy to become consumed by this, putting them in the spotlight and your recovery work backstage. 3. Mirror Past Relationships For many people who struggle with addiction, unhealthy relationships and attachment styles have been the norm from an early age. Even though you may know the qualities of a healthy relationship on paper, putting that into practice in life is a whole new challenge. Early sobriety and relationships is a combination that can plummet you back into old patterns. Dating in recovery can be a wonderful experience, but there’s no reason to rush it. Wait until you’re secure in yourself, more confident in your recovery, and have a clear picture of what you want in a partner and what healthy connections look like before you open that door. Building healthy friendships and learning how to hold boundaries with loved ones and others is a good way to practice relationship skills before you try out dating in recovery. 4. Bring Out Your Mask It’s natural to want to put on your “best face” when you’re attracted to someone. But that may mean putting on a “mask” and hiding your true self to show that person who you think they want to see. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to make a good impression, but in early recovery, there’s a fine line between bringing out your best and being inauthentic. A big part of recovery is rediscovering your true self and accepting and loving that person. Any situation that sends a message that you’re not good enough just as you are can thwart that process. 5. Put You at Risk for Relapse In early recovery, you need to be diligent about avoiding triggers until you have the support system and healthy coping skills to be around them. This can take months—even years. Recovery and relationships can be triggering for many. Dating, intimacy, and romantic relationships can bring up trauma, emotional pain, or fears of abandonment, which may be some of the issues linked to your substance abuse. Even if dating in recovery doesn’t trigger you, a break-up very well could. There’s no guarantee a relationship will last. It can be all too easy to justify a heartbreak as a reason to use drugs and alcohol to temporarily ease the emotional pain you’re feeling. If You Do Decide to Date in Early Recovery… If you decide to give sober dating a try in early recovery, proceed with caution, and follow this advice: Pay attention to your sense of self – If it’s getting lost, get out of the relationship and rediscover your sense of self. Lean on your peers in recovery – Twelve-step meetings, SMART Recovery, or other recovery groups are so important in recovery. Don’t skip them. Work closely with a therapist, and be honest with them – If you find yourself hiding details about your dating life from your counselor or friends, it’s a big red flag. Look out for old patterns – If a date reminds you of a previous partner or relationship when you were abusing substances, the relationship may not be a healthy one. Don’t date someone who’s abusing drugs or alcohol – It’s too much weight for your new sobriety to bear. Just say no. You Will Date Again—When You’re Ready Just because you’re taking a
Watch Out for These 5 Addiction Triggers
Getting sober is hard. Staying sober is sometimes harder. The good news is that millions of people are living in recovery, and you can too. If you’re recovering from a substance use disorder, paying attention to triggers can help you safeguard your sobriety, especially in early addiction recovery. Between 40-60% of people in recovery relapse. That doesn’t mean you’re destined for relapse; it just means you should prepare for triggers and challenges as best you can. As part of your relapse prevention plan, you should be able to identify triggers and have a plan when you encounter them. Here are some important areas to pay attention to, especially when you’re new to recovery: #1 HALT: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired You may have already heard the acronym, “HALT” in inpatient rehab or outpatient rehab. HALT stands for: hungry, angry, lonely, tired. Basic needs like eating well or getting enough sleep can have a great impact on how you feel physically and mentally. In addiction recovery, you’re encouraged to “halt” and ask yourself if you’re experiencing any of those conditions. Feelings of unbalance can be internal triggers for addictive behaviors. It’s more difficult to remember healthy coping skills when you’re experiencing any of these deficits. Am I Hungry? Hunger can come in the form of an actual need for food or an emotional hunger. Check-in with your body and quiet your mind. Halt, and ask yourself if the hunger you\’re feeling is tied to a need for food, or is it a void from stress, sadness, or loneliness? It’s sometimes easy to mistake emotional hunger for physical hunger. If you’re physically hungry, eat something healthy instead of turning to sugary or overprocessed foods that may provide a quick fix, but will make you feel worse in the long run. If you’re emotionally hungry, try these tactics: Am I Angry? Intense or uncomfortable emotions like anger can trigger drug and alcohol abuse in people with substance use disorders. This is why many drug rehabs include anger management as part of programming. Anger is a natural emotion, but some people have complex issues around anger, usually based on the messages received about it as a child. This can make anger a loaded emotion you want to escape from. In the past, this escape may have come in the form of substance abuse. If you’re feeling triggered, halt and ask yourself if you’re experiencing anger or another uncomfortable emotion. Positive emotions can even be uncomfortable in early recovery. When you’ve been numbing feelings with drugs and alcohol, it takes time to relearn what to do with emotions. Healthy ways to deal with anger instead of abusing drugs include: Am I Lonely? Recovery can feel lonely at times, and loneliness is a risk factor for addiction relapse. Sometimes sobriety means building a new friend group or changing relationships with family. You don’t have to be physically alone to experience loneliness. Feeling like you don’t have anything in common or strong connections with the people in your life can also make you feel alone. If you’re the only one not drinking at a party or a family gathering, that can bring feelings of loneliness as well. Drugs and alcohol may feel like an old friend that can bring comfort. A sober network of peers is a critical piece of recovery. If you’re feeling lonely and tempted to use drugs or alcohol, attend an Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, or SMART Recovery group; call your sponsor; or call a loved one. Am I Tired? Getting enough sleep is an important part of keeping your brain and body healthy. Lack of sleep can have many detrimental effects on your health, and it’s also a risk factor for relapse. Make sure you’re on a regular sleep schedule. Tiredness can also come in the form of mental exhaustion. Create some space in your mind with activities like meditation or yoga, or participating in anything that feels meditative to you, like playing or listening to music, knitting, creating art, or running. #2 Old Friends Abusing Substances It’s best to avoid as many external triggers as possible in early recovery, which includes your old friend group. Addiction changes the brain in ways that mean certain situations provide cues to drink or use drugs, activating the reward system so that it’s nearly impossible to refuse substances. Hanging out with the same people you used drugs and alcohol with is a test that you should not put your early sobriety up against. #3 Places Tied to Drinking or Using Drugs In the same way former friends can be relapse triggers, your brain links places to substance abuse as well. Just driving by an old haunt where you would use drugs or your regular bar can bring up a powerful urge to abuse substances. While it might be impossible to avoid all people and places associated with drug or alcohol abuse, it’s best to not seek out these things. Creating as much distance as possible between triggers you can control is important for people in recovery. #4 Celebrations and Parties With Alcohol or Drugs Preventing relapse may mean avoiding situations with any drug or alcohol use for a while. Many people in recovery reach a point where they feel more comfortable around substance use and don’t feel as triggered. It takes time to build the healthy coping skills needed to tolerate these situations for people recovering from alcohol and drug addiction. For some, this can take years. Be patient with yourself. To be safe, avoid parties or gatherings with substance use until you develop healthy coping mechanisms, have many months of sobriety under your belt, and have a specific action plan in place for dealing with these types of triggers. #5 High-Stress Situations Stress is a natural part of life. There’s no way to avoid it, but trying to eliminate unnecessary sources of stress in early recovery can make coping with triggers easier. High-stress situations are different for everyone. For example, high-conflict relationships with loved ones
What to Do When You Relapse
When it comes to behavior change, you never quite escape the risk of relapse. Relapse is often only associated with addiction recovery, however, relapse can occur with other behavior changes like going to the gym, improving your diet, and setting boundaries. It can also happen with behavioral addictions like eating disorders or sex addiction. Long-term behavior change can be difficult to maintain, especially with alcohol or drug abuse. In fact, 40 to 60% of people who’ve gotten sober will relapse at least once. Addiction is a chronic, relapsing disease, so don’t throw in the towel on your sobriety if you’ve relapsed. You’re not alone, and you can come out of it for the better. Here are some suggestions on what to do when you relapse in addiction recovery: #1 Forgive Yourself First of all, have empathy and compassion for yourself. You are human. Everyone has difficult moments and makes choices they regret. Addiction is a disease that wants you to be alone and wants you to start drinking or using drugs again. You’re fighting a difficult battle, and relapse can be a part of that process. #2 Lean on Your Support System Do not let shame stop you from reaching out to your support network. Being alone is not how to deal with relapse in recovery. Your support system may include friends, family, therapists, spiritual helpers, or sponsors. They don’t want to see you slip further, and they want to help you. Now it’s more important than ever to diligently attend meetings like Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, or SMART Recovery. These recovery groups support and normalize the difficulties in addiction recovery, which can ease the shame, disappointment, and isolation you may be feeling. Talk about what was going on before, during, or after the relapse. The more you talk about it and bring it to light, the more it loosens its grip on you. #3 Acknowledge Emotions and Behaviors It is important to acknowledge the thoughts and behaviors that led you to this point. Awareness is one of the most important aspects of implementing change. It is crucial after a slip in consistency to look at what played a role in relapse. Increasing awareness will help you avoid becoming immersed in the cycle that keeps relapse going and increases emotional pain. Identifying and feeling guilt, shame, and resentment can decrease them. You can only heal pain when you feel it. Process these emotions with a therapist or other support resources. Guilt and shame can occur after a relapse due to fear of judgment or because of the expectations that you’ve put on yourself. #4 Reframe and Refocus Reframe your relapse and refocus on recovery goals. Remind yourself why you went to alcohol and drug abuse treatment to begin with. If your internal motivation is not enough right now to reclaim recovery, reflect on what you stand to lose from drug or alcohol addiction — what it took away from you, and what you worked hard to get back in recovery. This might include: Remind yourself of what you do have, and what you are grateful for. Think about realistic goals you can work toward and how you can use this experience to learn and grow in recovery. #5 Change Things Around Do something different in your recovery. There is no end to the changes we can make in our lives to improve our emotions and situation. Some changes may include: Trying new things can help improve your view of life and confidence. Relapse can be a part of recovery, but it does not have to dictate your recovery. It can be difficult to get back on track. You may feel low about yourself in the process. However, relapse is not the end. Use the resources you have and keep fighting. Is Returning to Treatment Necessary? Not all addiction relapses require a return to an intensive inpatient rehab situation. If your relapse was more of what some recovery communities define as a “slip,” you may just need a “tune up” and a stronger relapse prevention plan. This will be different for everyone, but might include things like: In some cases, checking yourself into a residential drug rehab center could be the best course of action. If your relapse on alcohol and drugs was not a one-time event where you immediately felt regret; you’ve fallen back into your old lifestyle; or you aren’t doing any of the things you know will get you back on track, having some time and space away from triggers to focus on yourself and getting better may be necessary. We Can Help If you or a loved one has relapsed, contact Footprints to Recovery for a free, confidential consultation. We use evidence-based addiction treatments and focus on building the skills and practices that support long-term recovery. We view addiction relapse as an opportunity to learn, not a failure, and we’ll help you emerge back into sobriety, stronger and happier. Our substance abuse treatment centers offer: Give us a call. We understand what you’re going through, and we can help. References
2000 Days
Footprints to Recovery Alumni Coordinator, Lisa, Interviews An Old Friend Who Hit 2000 Days In Recovery. Many years ago, I worked in the beauty industry as an esthetician and make-up artist while getting my psychology degree. It was during this time that I met my dear friend Kristie. I recently saw Kristie post on her Facebook wall that she was 2000 days clean and sober. Knowing that 2000 days was no small feat and an accomplishment many strive towards, I reached out and asked if she wouldn’t mind being interviewed about her road to recovery. She agreed and it is a conversation I will never forget. After exchanging the niceties, we got into the real talk: Lisa: How long had you been an addict? Kristie: I want to acknowledge that I will always be an addict. I am just happy to say that now I can add the word recovering to it. The first time I smoked marijuana I was 14 and that was the first time I drank too. The first time I did heroin I was 19. That was my drug of choice for 29 years. Lisa: How many times did you try to get clean? Kristie: More than I can count. I think we all try to do it on our own a few times but, then it’s apparent that that isn’t working. It took 8 times in rehab for things to click. Lisa: What was it about the 8th time? Kristie: I wanted it! I really wanted to stop doing drugs and stop ruining my life. I used to put a break in my schedule for lunch each day to go downstairs to the parking garage to shoot up before coming back in to finish my day. Every penny I made I used for drugs. I lived with my sister and so when I wasn’t working, I was in my room getting high. My patients used to tell me about amazing trips they were taking and I remember thinking I would never be able to go to those place because I would never have the money. I was in constant contact with so many people each and every day and I constantly felt alone and isolated in my world of drugs and solitude. I couldn’t take it anymore and I told myself one night that I needed to get clean or take my life because I couldn’t keep living that way. That wasn’t living. Do you remember when I quit? Lisa: I do. You told me you had talked to our owner and requested time off to go to treatment. You weren’t going to be able to start until after we got our next check and you couldn’t go through withdrawals unless you were at a detox treatment center. Kristie: I knew I wanted to get clean. I knew that you believed that I was going to get clean and, I went to treatment a day later when we got our checks. Additional Interviews Leading by example Lisa: So, the other 7 times, did you not want to get clean and stay clean? Kristie: I did but, I didn’t want it for myself. I wanted it for my family, mostly. I’m not saying they aren’t something that helps keep me going but, I needed to want it for myself. I think that is the most important thing and the only way anyone can stay clean and sober. You have to do it and want it for yourself. Lisa: How often do you think about heroin? Kristie: Every single day. Lisa: How have you stayed sober for 2000 days when you think about it every day? Kristie: I work my program. I put myself first. I stay focused. I go to meetings. I talk with my sponsor. I am a sponsor. I have a great support system around me. Lisa: Tell me more about your support system? How did that come together? Kristie: That was not easy. I had some family members and friends that were supportive but, I also had friends and family that were addicts too. I had to distance myself from anything and anyone that was going to jeopardize my recovery. That was scary. I had to make new friends that I knew would keep me accountable. I made a lot of friends going to meetings. It’s been my saving grace at times when I have felt triggered or around holidays when I didn’t want to be around family members that were using. Lisa: What advice would you give to someone who is fresh out of recovery? Kristie: Work your own program. There is no cookie cutter road to recovery. Lisa: How has your life changed over these last 2000 days? Kristie: Well technically it’s 2003! Lisa: My bad! How has it changed over the past 2003 days? Kristie: I’m a new person! I feel alive and grateful and full of hope. I’ve worked hard and have taken two amazing trips that I could finally afford to go on. I’ve met the love of my life and have been married for just under a year. I wouldn’t have anything that I have now if I was still using. I’m finally the person I have always wanted to be! Lisa: Do you have a quote or saying that you could share with others that keeps you going? Kristie: In the words of Bob Marley, “You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.”
