The Link Between Drug Use and Suicide
Is your loved one struggling with a substance use disorder? Do they seem to be at risk of suicide? The two issues are often deeply entwined. One study found that men who struggle with substance abuse are 2.3 times more likely to commit suicide compared to men who do not drink or use drugs. Similarly, women who struggle with a substance use disorder are 6.5 times more likely to die by suicide. If you are concerned that your loved one is at risk of suicide, and drug abuse is also an issue, you can take action and intervene. Drug Use and Suicide: The Connection It is exceptionally common for someone living with a mental health disorder like depression to turn to drug and alcohol use as a means of managing the resulting symptoms. When no other coping mechanisms are sought, a drink, a pill, or another drug can feel like the only means of escape from an otherwise overwhelming and debilitating depression. Similarly, use of substances can trigger or worsen co-occurring mental health disorders. In both cases, suicide becomes an increased risk. Stacy Lott, PsyD, CADC, is the Regional Director of Operations for Footprints to Recovery. She says, “People suffering from substance use disorders are likely to have depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues, which can increase the risk of suicide. “ Unfortunately, after the cessation of all use of drugs and alcohol while in recovery from addiction, suicide can become an even greater specter. “When attempting to stop using drugs, people often feel overwhelmed by the return of painful emotions that they had been medicating with drugs,” says Dr. Lott. Learning how to manage the underlying mental health disorders is ultimately of far greater importance than managing the physical withdrawal symptoms often associated with detox. Once the physiological symptoms fade, the original mental health symptoms that sparked drug use in the first place persist. In many cases, ongoing mental health symptoms may be even more difficult to manage after addiction due to the trauma associated with active addiction and the neurological changes wrought by consistent, high-dose substance abuse. Risk Factors for Addiction and Suicide Risk factors, or behaviors or environmental characteristics that predate active addiction or suicide attempts, play a big part in the likelihood that someone may attempt suicide in combination with drug use. In some cases, problems that someone is facing in life or relationships can be an indicator. For example, Dr. Lott says that substance abusers are also more likely to have social and financial problems. Someone in the midst of a contentious divorce, or who is struggling after a layoff, and using drugs or alcohol to cope may be at high risk of suicide. Some risk factors for addiction include: Risk factors for suicide include: According to Dr. Lott, suicidal tendencies and drug use often go together and share some risk factors. “Substance abuse can be a risk factor for suicide because substance use is common among those prone to impulsivity, and among those who engage in many types of high-risk behaviors that result in self-harm.” Warning Signs of Substance Use, Abuse, and Addiction The specific signs of drug use are variable, based heavily on the drug of choice, the dose, and the person’s tolerance level. For example, someone under the influence of marijuana might have red or bloodshot eyes, seem unable to follow the intricacies of a conversation, and may “zone out” easily. Someone under the influence of crystal meth or cocaine may be excessively chatty, have dilated pupils, and/or exhibit paranoia. In general, you may notice some behavioral changes when a loved one begins to abuse drugs. These may include: Should drug use become a regular habit or an addiction develops, you may notice that your love one: Warning Signs of Suicidal Tendencies According to Dr. Lott, there are a number of warning signs of suicide that friends and family members can look for, including: If you believe your loved one is suicidal, do not wait to respond, ignore the problem, or think it will go away on its own. Especially when they occur in the midst of heavy drug use or addiction, signs of suicide may be the only warning you have that your loved one’s life is in danger. An immediate response is recommended. Prevention and Intervention: How to Respond to a Loved One in Crisis Both drug addiction and suicide, separately and on their own, can be deadly. When combined, the risk for early death escalates dramatically. Says Dr. Lott, “Substance abuse not only increases the likelihood that a person will take their own life, but it is also used as a means to die by suicide.” This means that the use of substances may worsen depression and become the tool by which someone takes their own life, such as via a purposeful drug overdose. In other cases, the person may drink or use drugs and then go through with suicide while under the influence. She encourages family members and close friends to take action if they see a loved one in crisis, especially if they are going through something disruptive and do not seem to be managing the problem well. “Transitions, such as entering or leaving treatment, relapse, death, divorce, or other major life changes can be especially vulnerable times,” Dr. Lott says. She urges family and close friends to keep a few things in mind when it comes to approaching someone who may be considering suicide while also dealing with a substance use disorder. Above all, take your loved one seriously if they are talking about suicide, and do not give up trying to help them get better. Connecting them with specialists who can help them follow a personalized treatment path to recovery is an essential piece of the puzzle. Without assistance, it is unlikely that your loved one will seek help on their own.
Should You Hold an Intervention?
While on the surface, an intervention might seem pretty straightforward and easy, it’s actually an incredibly complicated ordeal that involves a lot of moving parts. Not only do you have to get the group together and figure out a time and place that works for everyone, but you also have to convince the person who you think needs an intervention to come to the location where it’s going to take place. So, how do you go about holding an intervention? Well, let’s take a look. What is an Intervention? In the simplest of terms, an intervention is an occurrence in which a person with a problem, such as a drug or alcohol addiction, is confronted by a group of friends or family members. The goal of an intervention is to compel the person to acknowledge and deal with the problem. What Happens During an Intervention? As we discussed in the intro, on the surface, an intervention seems like a pretty straight forward thing. A family member or loved one is suffering from a problem, usually a drug or alcohol addiction, and doesn’t see how it is not only negatively affecting themselves, but others in their lives as well. You gather everyone together, including the person suffering from the addiction, where you sit them down and tell them how their addiction is affecting themselves and others. It seems pretty simple, right? Well, in most cases, it’s anything but simple. First off, it’s likely going to be difficult to convince the addict to even show up for the intervention. You will likely have to figure out a way to get them to show up without them knowing what’s really going on. After you get them there, be prepared for a lot of anger, hostility, and animosity. Chances are the person suffering doesn’t think they have a problem. Or, they think that it’s not affecting others. While you and the others participating know this is not the case, it could cause some disagreements and heated arguments. During the intervention, you and the others participating will take turns sharing how the person’s addiction has either hurt you, hurt themselves, or have adversely affected your relationship. An ultimatum will likely need to be given in order to hammer home just how serious this is. In most cases, the intervention will involve undergoing some sort of addiction treatment. It’s important that everyone participating in the intervention agree to the ultimatum beforehand, and all remain on the same page during the intervention. If one person deviates from the plan, it can ruin the entire intervention. How Do You Plan an Intervention? Like the entire process, planning an intervention is more complicated than it may seem. Here are some things to consider when planning an intervention. Getting a team together The only way that an intervention can be truly effective is to get a group of close friends and family members together. These should be people that not only care deeply for the addict but people that the addict also cares deeply for and respects. If you would like to bring in a professional to help with the intervention, they will need to be included in this team as well. Learn about the process Unless you or someone in the group you have picked has been through an intervention before, then chances are you will need to study up on the process. Many people choose to hire a professional such as a therapist or interventionist who have experience in running interventions to help with the process. If you choose to run it yourself, it is important that you do your homework. Pick a time and place If your intervention is going to involve several people, this can be difficult. You will need to make sure to pick a time and place that works for everyone. When it comes to picking the location, make sure it is somewhere that the person who needs the intervention will feel safe. This will help make them feel more comfortable, which will hopefully help make the intervention more effective. Learn about their addiction If you haven’t already, take the time to learn not just about their addiction, but the recovery process as well. If you go into this with knowledge about not just the addiction, but the options they have as far as treatment and recovery go, they are more likely to take the intervention seriously. Presenting options will make it feel less like you are ganging up on them, and make them realize that you are here to help them. Prepare a statement It’s crucial that all the participants in the intervention prepare a written statement that they will want to read during the intervention. By preparing a statement in advance, this will allow you to put all your thoughts down on paper in a constructive way while taking a lot of the emotion out of it. Written statements about the impact on relationships can help the person struggling with addiction to understand that their struggle does not impact them alone. Hope for the best, but plan for the worst It’s important to remember that, no matter how much planning and rehearsing goes into an intervention, there’s a chance it will not go well. Just because it didn’t go well doesn’t mean that you failed. Many times addicts don’t want to acknowledge that they have a problem. It’s important to have a plan in place just in case the intervention does not go as well as you would have hoped. You may want to give an ultimatum or even stop any enabling behaviors and limit access to finances, housing, or any other support you provide that enables addictive behaviors to continue. What NOT To Do During an Intervention We talked about all the things to focus on doing during an intervention; now it’s time to talk about the things to avoid doing. Because an intervention is such a tricky thing to pull off, it’s important not only to
How to Help Someone with Addiction
It’s not easy watching a loved one go down the dark path of substance abuse and mental health concerns. Family and friends often feel powerless while searching for how. Relationships are complex enough already. When addiction is added, they get more confusing for everyone. The good news is there are ways to help a spouse, a sibling, a child, or a friend make positive changes and overcome their struggles with drugs and alcohol. One of the best ways is to seek professional help from a certified addiction treatment center like Footprints to Recovery. Rehab centers provide recovery methods for addiction, such as: These are part of programs like: The staff at treatment centers have skills and experience in treating people with addiction problems. They’re able to guide the person in question on how best to manage their recovery process. Signs of Substance Abuse If a spouse or other family member or a friend needs substance abuse treatment, there are several signs to look out for. These signs can be divided into three subcategories: physical, emotional, and social. Physical Signs of Substance Abuse The physical signs of substance abuse disorders can be obvious or difficult to notice. Finding drugs, alcohol, or paraphernalia, or finding someone mid-use are obvious signs. More subtle signs of addiction to alcohol or drugs like cocaine, meth, heroin, or prescription drugs include: Emotional Signs of Addiction Substance abuse takes its toll on everyone. The mental health issues that arise from abuse can be difficult to hide, though some manage to do it for years or even decades. If your wife or brother, aunt, or adult child started acting differently than usual, you’d want to know why, especially when the changes in behavioral health are so negative, like mood swings, apathy, or swinging from lethargic to hyperactive in a short period. Perhaps a loved one is lying, and you know it but don’t understand why they’re acting that way. Alcohol or drug addiction could be the culprit. Social Signs of Addiction Humans are very social beings. We live, work, learn, and grow alongside one another and rely on each other for support. Changes in social patterns could mean someone is struggling with substance abuse. For instance, someone you love could be staying out later or spending time with a new group of people. They may not enjoy the same places or activities they did before. They may start skipping out on obligations like school, work, or hobbies. These are all potential red flags of addiction. If you suspect that someone you love is struggling with substance abuse, it’s important to reach out and offer support as soon as possible. How Addiction Affects Family Relationships The addiction struggles and behavioral health issues of a family member can have a devastating effect on relationships within the family unit. Seeing any loved one fall into the terrifying cycle of addiction can strain even a healthy relationship. Husbands and wives struggle to cope as they watch their spouse become unstable due to substance abuse. It can be confusing and scary to watch a sibling struggle with drugs and alcohol. Addiction can cause trust issues in relationships. That makes it difficult for those closest to the addict to understand what the addict is going through. Feelings of guilt, shame, anger, frustration, and helplessness often lead to strained communication between family members. This lack of communication can cause further rifts in already fragile relationships. The group therapy and family therapy available in drug and alcohol treatment programs can be great resources for developing communication skills and healing relationships. While all family members involved will inevitably be impacted by addiction, it’s important to recognize that it affects everyone differently. How Can You Help Someone with Addiction? It is important for family members or close friends of someone suffering from addiction to understand the situation they are facing. Addiction affects everyone in a different way and understanding why someone has turned to substance abuse can help you provide love and support. Past trauma may be a factor. Mental health issues like depression, anxiety, or stress can also play a role in a substance abuse disorder. Regardless of why someone abuses drugs and alcohol, the important thing is to get them help. One way to start the process of helping a partner, child, sibling, or any loved one with recovery is through an intervention. What Is an Intervention? An intervention is an organized meeting between a person struggling with addiction and their family, friends, or loved ones. The purpose of this meeting is to express love and concern for the person and their drug or alcohol abuse. It is important to remember that addiction is not a choice; it’s an illness that requires professional help for effective treatment. An intervention can get the ball rolling towards long-term recovery from drug or alcohol addiction. An intervention should be thoughtfully planned out while focusing on offering solutions instead of blame or guilt. Ultimately, the goal of an intervention is to create a safe space where those involved can openly discuss addiction without fear of judgement or criticism. Encouraging someone to reach out for professional addiction treatment is one of the most important things you can do as a loved one. Addiction treatment centers provide the best chance at getting your wife, husband, sister, brother, son, or daughter the long-term sobriety they need. Showing your love and support through this difficult time is critical in helping someone cope with an addiction and return to a healthier life. Should your loved one resist getting help from an alcohol or drug abuse treatment program, the best thing to do is show your love and support. They may be open to listening to the points you’re making, or they may be angry, upset, or feel blindsided. In the end, your loved one needs to be ready and willing to get help, or effective treatment is difficult. Treatment plans are usually not a success when an individual doesn’t believe
What to Do When a Loved One Relapses
Watching a loved one relapse can be gut-wrenching. It’s normal to experience a flood of emotions. You may feel angry, sad, scared, and resentful. You thought this was behind your family, and now, here you are again. The fact is, relapse happens a lot, and it doesn’t mean that your loved one is doomed to a life of addiction. “It’s easy to become frustrated by your loved one’s repeated attempts to stop using drugs and alcohol,” said Agy Wielechowski, a case manager at Footprints to Recovery. “It’s very easy to think that if they wanted to stop, they would just stop. It may seem that simple in the mind of someone who has never struggled with addiction, but it isn’t that simple at all. In fact, drug and alcohol relapse is a common part of addiction recovery.” If you’re wondering what to say to someone who relapsed or what to do when someone relapses, read these 5 important tips. #1 Don’t Blame or Shame The person who has relapsed is likely feeling a lot of shame already. Adding to that will do no good. Research shows that people who relapse may experience the abstinence violation effect. This is the clinical term used when an individual experiences such strong feelings of shame, guilt, and failure when they relapse that they figure they might as well just turn in the towel and head straight back into active addiction. Piling on the shame or blame may just exacerbate this feeling for your loved one. Focusing on the fact that a substance use disorder is a disease that changes the brain may help you feel more compassionate in a situation where anger and frustration are understandably often knee-jerk reactions. If you haven’t struggled with addiction, it’s hard to comprehend just how strongly substance abuse can hijack the brain, making it extremely difficult to stop using drugs or alcohol. It’s not just a matter of willpower. “Addiction takes over the survival part of the brain, and the substance being abused becomes so central in a person’s life that all their energy, thoughts, and time are consumed by it,” said Wielechowski. “The parts of the brain that are critical to decision-making and behavior control are also changed by repeated substance use. Quitting can be very difficult, even for those who feel ready.” #2 Address Your Feelings Allow yourself to feel the many emotions around your loved one’s addiction relapse. Don’t judge your emotions. They’re all valid. Express them in healthy ways without taking them out on your loved one. Give yourself some space before you speak with your loved one about their relapse. “Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm,” said Wielechowski. “You are allowed to walk away and take a time out. Remember to breathe, and focus on some self-care steps you can take to feel better.” Some healthy ways to cope with strong emotions: Once the emotions from your loved one’s alcohol or drug relapse feel less raw and intense, try to speak with them about it. It’s okay to express your feelings to them, but do so in a way that doesn’t cast blame. Using “I” words is a good rule of thumb. For example: What not to say to someone who relapsed: What to say to someone who relapsed: “A drug or alcohol relapse is not the end, and it does not mean that treatment has ‘failed,’” Wielechowski. Always remember to take a step back and gauge the situation. Don’t assume that this misstep will cause your loved one’s or your entire life to be destroyed.” #3 Keep Healthy Boundaries Seeing your loved one struggle with addiction is tough. Holding your boundaries when someone relapses may feel like kicking them when they’re down, but that’s not the case. There’s a difference between supporting and enabling. If you’re wondering what to do when someone relapses, this is at the top of the list. Keeping healthy boundaries right now can mean the difference between them getting the substance abuse treatment they need or spiraling further into a relapse. The main message that comes across with boundaries is that you love them and support them, but you will not support their self-destructive behaviors like alcohol and drug abuse. Boundaries for addicted people look different depending on the situation, but common ones include: Let your loved one know you want to be the first person they call when they’re ready to attend substance abuse treatment and get back on track, but you love them too much to enable the behaviors that are contributing to their addiction. “The recovery process can be a hard and long road, but with time and the proper tools, you and your loved one can heal,” said Wielechowski. “Drug and alcohol relapse is a completely natural part of addiction, and it is never your fault.” #4 Encourage Them to Get Help A relapse doesn’t always mean a return to drug rehab is necessary. However, it usually means some form of substance abuse treatment is a good idea. Support groups for sobriety like SMART Recovery (smartrecovery.org) differentiate between a relapse and a slip. They consider a slip to be a brief, one-time event that couldn’t be foreseen. This could include a brief slip into substance abuse as a reaction to things like a job loss, death of a loved one, or being blindsided by a trigger. SMART Recovery considers a relapse to be drug or alcohol abuse that continues for days or weeks when people fall into past patterns like hanging out with “drug friends,” missing support groups, and feeling “homesick” for their old lifestyle. With a slip, you’re loved one might just need to increase their individual therapy sessions, attend more recovery support groups, or look into an outpatient program that meets two to three times a week in the day or evenings. If their return to drugs and alcohol looks more like a relapse where they have moved back into active addiction and old lifestyle habits, a return
How to Speak to Your Loved One About Their Addiction
There’s no question: Addiction is a difficult topic to discuss. It’s a chaotic disease that affects the person struggling and those around them. When a loved one is dealing with addiction, it’s common to feel a multitude of emotions. While it’s normal to be overwhelmed, it’s also important to remember that there is hope for recovery and there are ways you can help your loved one. The most important first step is having a conversation. When communicating with a loved one about your concerns, it’s important to do so in a way that allows them to really hear what you’re saying. Follow these do’s and don’ts to help the conversation help your loved one understand you have their best interests—and their future— at heart. Do: Be clear and upfront. The best way to speak to others in general is to be straightforward and honest. The same holds true when you’re talking to someone with an addiction. Be clear in what you want to communicate to them, and don’t hesitate to bring up your own feelings about the situation—in a calm way. In fact, saying how you feel is often a good starting point. Tell your loved one how it hurts and worries you to see them addicted to drugs and how you fear for their safety. Your loved one may have strong feelings or a negative reaction to what you have to say, but that does not mean you shouldn’t say it. Those feelings and reactions can be part of paving the way to recovery. Give them space to respond. Don’t pressure your loved one to respond to what you’re saying right away. You can offer to help them and explain how you’ll do so, but if you try to make them choose their next move on the spot, you’ll probably be met with resistance. No one likes being told that what they’re doing is wrong. Over time, their feelings of hurt and betrayal may dissolve, and they’ll think about what you’ve said. Give them the time and space to reach this point on their own. Set and enforce boundaries. Boundaries are important in every relationship. They are the limits you set to protect your values, time, safety, and more. When someone in your life has an addiction, it can feel like an uphill battle to maintain healthy boundaries with them. But it’s a necessary step if you want to do everything you can to help them get healthy. Letting someone with an addiction overstep your boundaries corrodes your relationship with them. They may become dependent on you, and you become self-sacrificing, at the risk of your own mental health and well-being. It’s okay to say “no.” Make sure when you do so, you explain why and let them know that you’ll do so the next time they ask too. Just as important as setting boundaries— if not more so—is enforcing them. Don’t just tell the person you’re setting limits. If they continue to overstep boundaries, tell them “no” again, and however many times you need to after that. Take action alongside them. Take some type of action yourself. This shows your loved one you are just as committed to improving the relationship and helping them through this difficult time. It sets a good example, strengthens bonds, and may help you at the same time. Depending on the type of action you take, you may learn more about addiction in the process and become a better advocate for your loved one. What could that action look like? Take advantage of a time when you are both clear-headed to talk. There’s never a perfect time to have a difficult conversation, but some times are better than others. Waiting for a moment when your loved one is sober and both of you are calm can make a real difference in how the conversation goes. If you find yourself in a day or a moment when things are going well, take advantage of it and bring up your concerns. Many people shy away from this because they don’t want to ruin the good experience. Remember that unless your loved one gets help, your happy times will only ever be short and rare. Your goal is to have more of these moments. Say something to express your feelings, such as, “I’m really enjoying this time with you. I wish we had more days like this.” Educate yourself. Addiction is a disease. The more you educate yourself, the better you will understand why your loved one is struggling. The more you understand how addiction works and how your loved one may be feeling, the easier it is to speak to them from a place of empathy and support. You won’t fully understand what it’s like to be in their shoes, but you can show them you know a few things about their experience. They may feel grateful and supported just because you took the time to learn about their situation. The ultimate goal here is to help the other person feel they’re not alone. Don’t: Ignore the issue. Pretending an addiction doesn’t exist does not help your loved one make changes. Those struggling with addiction are prone to putting themselves in risky or dangerous situations, not to mention the negative physical effects of drugs and alcohol. Addiction is a progressive disease that does not get better on its own. Talking to your loved one about your concerns doesn’t guarantee they’ll change, but it may plant a seed. Eventually they will realize they’ve hit rock bottom, and when they do, they’ll recall your words of concern and your offer to help. Enable. The definition of enable is to “give someone the authority or means to do something.” When it comes to addiction, enabling means providing another person the space or the means to continue their destructive behaviors. You might be enabling your loved one’s substance abuse by: Give ultimatums or threats. Issuing a final demand to someone who is not ready for change will likely result
What to Say to Someone Who Is Suicidal & What NOT to Say
Suicide is undoubtedly a delicate topic. It can be confusing, shameful, and challenging to talk about. Because of how emotionally charged the subject is, people often don’t know what to say to someone who is suicidal. They worry about making things worse and feel panicked by the fear of saying the wrong thing. If you think someone you know is suicidal, you might feel lost, not knowing what to do. That’s normal. Read on for a few ideas about what to say and what not to say to someone struggling with suicidal thoughts. What to Say to Someone Who Is Suicidal If someone discloses suicidal thoughts to you, recognize that this means they trust you. It’s not easy to open up about these uncomfortable feelings. People struggling with suicidal thoughts often worry about being a burden to others. They also worry about being rejected or dismissed. Saying these things with love and compassion may help them feel understood. Validate Your Loved One First, it’s a good idea to validate your loved one. Validating means recognizing and accepting someone else’s internal experience. It helps people feel more safe and connected. Some examples of validating statements include: Thank you for sharing this with me. That does sound like it’s hard. I’m proud of you for opening up. I know we can figure this out together. Your emotions make perfect sense. I understand completely. I care about you, and I’m here for you. Ask Direct Questions Although it may feel uncomfortable, it’s essential to know whether your loved one is in imminent danger of harming themselves or someone else. Direct questions include: Help Them Get the Help They Need If your loved one is actively suicidal, do not leave them alone. Let them know you will support them in getting immediate help. This help may vary depending on the circumstances. Suicide Prevention Hotline The suicide prevention hotline provides 24/7 crisis counseling to individuals in emotional distress. They can call 1-800-273-8255 for confidential support. The Emergency Room If your loved one is in imminent danger (like in the event of a drug overdose or a suicide attempt), they may need medical attention. Take them to the nearest emergency room or call 911. Ongoing Support Help your loved one find professional treatment. Often, people feel overwhelmed by their feelings, and they may struggle to get help on their own. Offer to sit with them as they call their doctor or reach out to therapists. If they’re okay with it, you could research therapists for them, or addiction treatment centers, if they also have a problem with substance abuse. What Not to Say to Someone Who Is Suicidal When you’re listening to or having a conversation with someone who is suicidal, knowing what not to say can be even more important than knowing what to say. Keep these tips in mind when interacting with your loved one, and avoid saying: “You Just Want Attention.” If someone discloses suicidal thoughts to you, they are expressing one of the most vulnerable parts of themselves. This isn’t about attention; it’s about asking for help. Dismissing them for trusting you may cause them to withdraw entirely. “Are You Sure You Feel That Way?” Feelings are real. If your loved one discloses feeling depressed or hopeless, don’t discount them. You’ll be more likely to make a positive difference if you validate them instead, saying something like, “Your emotions make perfect sense. We can figure this out together.” “I’d Be So Sad If You Died.” Of course, you would be sad! Unfortunately, this statement often induces more guilt and shame, which can increase self-destructive thoughts. Try to remember that this conversation isn’t about your feelings—it’s about theirs. “Try and Think About Everything You’re Grateful For.” Optimism can play an influential role in changing negative thoughts, but a blanket statement like this can make your loved one feel worse. They probably already feel guilty about their thoughts. Telling them to “just think positively” invalidates their emotions. “Suicide Is So Selfish.” To the individual suffering, suicide may seem like the only way to get relief. Instead of making a harsh accusation that induces more guilt, aim to be nonjudgmental and supportive of their emotions. “Things Could Always Be Worse.” While this statement may be true, it may make them feel guilty, and it’s unhelpful. Your loved one is in pain. Right now, things feel as bad as they can get. Telling them things could get worse implies you don’t believe their current struggle is legitimate and may make them feel even more hopeless. “You Just Need to Stop Doing X, Y, or Z, and You’ll Feel Better.” Whether your loved one is addicted to drugs or in a toxic relationship, you might think a single factor represents the source of all their problems. But suicide is a multifaceted issue. That means there are many risk factors for suicide, including: Final Thoughts on Supporting Your Loved One The risk of suicide can be incredibly scary. Of course, you want your loved one to be safe and healthy. At the same time, you can’t assume the sole responsibility for their well-being. These tips for what to say and what not to say to someone who is suicidal can help ground you and make you better able to give whatever help you can. Remember to enter any conversation with an open mind and open heart to hear them. If your loved one is struggling with substance use, suicide represents a serious threat. At Footprints to Recovery, we’re here to help. Contact us today to learn more. References
Loved Ones of Addicts Need Help Too
Addiction affects everyone in its path. It’s a family disease, with research showing families of addicts are emotionally, physically, and financially impacted by a loved one’s drug and alcohol abuse. Families play important roles in the development, sustentation, and treatment of substance use disorders. Addiction and recovery involve everyone, not just the substance abuser. Families and friends impacted by addiction must go through their own version of recovery. Research finds that by providing families of addicts with support, they’re less likely to experience detrimental effects of their loved one’s addiction. Family involvement in treatment can also improve addiction and recovery outcomes for the addict. While it’s clear that the addicted person needs help and support to recover, family, loved ones, and friends can benefit from support and help as well. How Addiction Affects Loved Ones Family members and friends of addicts experience their own stressors and pain. Sometimes it can look like a type of addiction itself as they become consumed with the addicted person’s well-being, whereabouts, and use of alcohol and other drugs. Families of addicts may also experience a “withdrawal” of their own searching for normalcy and stability once their loved one begins addiction recovery. Drug and alcohol addiction can create chaos in the family system, highlighting the need for support for all family members. Examples of how friends and families of addicted people struggle alongside their loved ones: Taking Care of Yourself When You Love an Addict Families affected by addiction can suffer detrimental effects to their mental and physical health. It can be easy for self-care to fall by the wayside when you’re so focused on what your addicted loved one is doing. You worry about their safety and health, and you may be preoccupied with the behaviors that are impacting you and other family members. Loss of sleep, lack of exercise and proper nutrition, and excessive stress takes its toll. You may experience anxiety and depression symptoms. The best thing families of addicts can do for their loved one is to take care of themselves. You’re no help to your loved one if you’re depleted and unhealthy. Things you should do if your loved one is struggling with alcohol or drug addiction: 1. Go to therapy – There are so many complex emotions in families of addicts. You may feel anger, sadness, guilt, and shame, just to name a few. Consider mental health treatment for yourself. A therapist can help you: 2. Practice self-care – Make sure you’re doing the things that protect your physical and mental health, like: 3. Hold healthy boundaries – A common saying in support groups for families of addicts is, “Detach with love.” Some of your behaviors may feel like you’re helping your loved one, but they may be keeping them stuck in their addiction, taking away the motivation to get the drug or alcohol treatment they need. Examples of healthy boundaries include: 4. Accept what you can and can’t do – You can support your loved one in healthy ways, you can encourage them to get substance abuse treatment, but you can’t do the work for them. Letting go of the thought that if you just worked harder at making them get help, if you just made their life a little easier, they would get better is hard. Accepting that there are real limits to the impact you can have on your loved one’s addiction and recovery and letting go can help take some of the emotional burden off your back. A therapist can help with this process. 5. Attend support groups for families of addicts– Hearing from and sharing with others going through similar struggles can be a transformative experience. It can help with the isolation and shame that can plague families of addicts. Nar-Anon, SMART Recovery, and Al-Anon family programs are all good ones to attend. Help for Families of Addicts There are several sources of support for families of addicts. Some of these include: Most treatment programs offer family therapy or family programs, whether by group or individual sessions. Topics are often educational, as well as skills-based to help you apply the knowledge toward your own recovery process. Examples of some of the topics covered in family therapy groups include: You don’t need to go it alone. Whether you are a spouse, child, friend, or sibling of someone who is struggling with addiction, there are resources for you. We Can Help Footprints to Recovery helps our clients and their loved ones recover from addiction and co-occurring mental illness. Most of our addiction recovery treatment programs include family therapy sessions, family groups, and family education on substance abuse and mental health issues. We offer many levels of care including: If you have a loved one struggling with addiction, call us for a free, confidential phone consultation. We’ll figure this out together. Resources
