5 Unique Ways to Have More Energy
You are clean and sober so, you should be feeling on top of the world. You should be full of energy. You should be jumping out of bed at 6:00 am, no alarm clock necessary. You have so much energy that one might even call you over productive. You are basically a living breathing Disney character. This is how life goes when you are in recovery, right?!?!? Wrong! More often than not, someone who is new to recovery experiences overwhelming bouts of fatigue. Your body, mind, and spirit have gone through shock. You were dependent on a substance that, for many people, was helping you function or even get out of bed. So how do you raise those energy levels? If the first thing that came to mind was a pot of coffee, 2 Monster energy drinks, and a bag of sugary candy, PLEASE read on! 1. Tap Your Thymus Did you just start tapping around the top of your leg? Not even close! Your thymus is located at the top middle part of your chest, just under your collarbone. It is called by many the “happiness point\” on your body because it is the organ that controls your lymphatic system which is responsible for rid your body of toxins. Lightly tapping the area boosts energy, relieves stress, increases strength, and triggers the production of T-Cells which keep your immunity up to fight off anything from the common cold to a nasty flu virus. Try tapping it for 20-30 seconds while breathing deeply for an instant energy boost. 2. Drink Some Matcha… At 10:30 AM Can’t survive without your java in the morning? Time to reach for something green. Matcha is a finely ground powder of specially grown and processed green tea leaves. It has a quarter of the caffeine that coffee has but, unlike your morning cup of joe, it will not give you the caffeine spike just to drop your energy 3-4 hours later leaving you running for your second cup. Matcha gives you a sense of calm alertness not to mention, it boosts your mood and metabolism. Need that caffeine fix as soon as your eyes open? Try and wait until 10:30 am. Studies prove that cortisol levels spike between 8:00-9:00 AM, and during this time your body isn’t able to process caffeine as effectively. Waiting until 10:30 AM can maximize your morning buzz. 3. Make Your Happy List I hate naps! You know how everyone says, “just take a quick power nap and you will feel so much better!” If by quick power nap you mean go to sleep for the next 3 hours and wake up not knowing what time it is or how the heck you are going to get to bed at a reasonable hour, then yes, I’m awesome at naps. If it’s 3:00 during a workday and, I’m hitting an afternoon slump, I take a 15-minute break and bust out my calendar. I look at the next few weeks and what I have going on that brings me enjoyment. Next, I make a list of possible outfits I want to wear, a dish or recipe that I want to bring to a friend’s house to watch football on Sunday, or I look at the blank spaces in my schedule and plan out going to the movies or catching up with a friend I haven’t seen in a while. I find the excitement of seeing all the good times ahead to be an instant endorphin booster! 4. Stop and Smell the Rosemary When you are ready for bed, it’s time to sip on the chamomile tea and spray your sheets with a little bit of lavender. When you need some pep in your step, consider taking in a couple whiffs of rosemary. Rosemary is one of the essential oils that is stimulating to the body. Scholars in ancient Greece used to wear wreaths of rosemary around their head to boost their brain power. Whether it’s fresh from the garden or a little bottle of the essential oil, just a few breaths in can instantly trigger alertness and invigorate your senses. 5. Pump Some Iron and Eat it Too! It seems counterproductive to go to the gym when you are tired but, exercise strengthens circulation and heart muscles so, it gives more energy to your body. On some of my laziest days, I make myself go to the gym in the morning. Although I may be grumbling the whole way there and telling myself, “30 minutes and I’m done”, I’ve found that my morning workouts give me sustained energy throughout the day. If you find you are constantly in a state of exhaustion, you could have an iron deficiency. Iron is essential for producing hemoglobin, which carries oxygen to your body’s cells, where it is used to produce energy. Try filling your daily meals with leafy green veggies, dried beans, and red meats. Who knew a little steak could give you an energy boost when you can’t get your body moooooovin’. Listen, I know that some winter mornings it’s impossible to get out of bed when it’s pitch black outside. At times, that sun beaming in your window at 5:45 in the summer can make you wish it was winter. Instead of going for the usual boosters to skyrocket you into your day, why not try one of the above suggestions. The only thing you’ve got to lose is your mid-day caffeine crash and, I’ve got a sinking feeling it won’t be missed.
10 Songs to Listen to in Recovery
Music one of the best therapeutic tools that we have. The artists below found motivation in writing and releasing their songs in hopes it would reach out and inspire someone. Use these songs, or others that speak to you, in times of need and know that you will get through tough times. 1. “Starting over” by Macklemore “If I can be an example of getting soberThen I can be an example of starting over We fell so hardNow we gotta get back what we lost” We all may make mistakes when changing our behaviors. This song, and many of Macklemore’s songs tell us it is okay to keep trying and that everyone struggles sometimes. 2. “Dare you to move” by Switchfoot “Tension is here. Between who you are and who you could be. Between how it is and how it should be. Maybe redemption has stories to tell. Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell. Where can you run to escape from yourself? Where you gonna go Where you gonna go? Salvation is here. I dare you to move…” This is an older pick for a song and it is a good one. It talks about how action is going to get you through hard times and do not forget that. 3. “Alive” by Sia “And I’m still breathing, I’m still breathingI’m still breathing, I’m still breathingI’m alive (You took it all, but I’m still breathing)” Sia is an amazing artist from lyrics to vocals. This song highlights the focus that no matter how difficult or how many obstacles you have been through or are yet to happen, that you are still here and fighting. 4. “If you want love” by NF “If you want love, you gon’ have to go through the painIf you want love, you gon’ have to learn how to changeIf you want trust, you gon’ have to give some awayIf you want love, if you want love” NF is a powerful musician and his lyrics are crucial. If we all want change and to work through things that have been difficult, we have to make sacrifices and remember that over time change will come. This is not an easy message to remember, however, it is an important one. 5. “Praying” by Kesha “I hope you’re somewhere prayin’, prayin’I hope your soul is changin’, changin’I hope you find your peaceFalling on your knees, prayin’” Kesha wrote this song to show her struggles and how she persevered through them. This song highlights that guidance can come from outside of us when we just don’t have the strength to get through it alone. This is an important message to remember. 6. “The Fighter” by Gym Class Heroes “Here comes a fighterThat’s what they’ll say to me, say to meSay to me, this one’s a fighter” This song promotes the inner strength and motivation that is important when working through issues and struggles. Everyone willing to work and better themselves is a fighter. 7. “Otherside” by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis “We live on the cusp of death thinkin’ that it won’t be usIt won’t be us, it won’t be us, it won’t be usNah, it won’t be us” When we are struggling with change, our thoughts can tell us things that are not always true, and this song exemplifies that. This is another Macklemore pick that inspires to keep holding on through the hard times. 8. “By the Grace of God” by Katy Perry “…Laying on the bathroom floor. We were living on a fault line. And I felt the fault was all mine. Couldn’t take it anymore. By the grace of God. There was no other way. I picked myself back up. I knew I had to stay. I put one foot in front of the other. And I looked in the mirror. And decided to stay…” Katy Perry has said that this song was largely inspired by the difficulties she faced while going through her separation from Russel Brand. The song explores the struggles we all may face at times and the heaviness of it; however, it provides a glimpse into the strength thats within us all to move on. 9. “Hunger” by Florence and the Machine “I thought that love was in the drugsBut the more I took, the more it took awayAnd I could never get enough” She speaks a raw truth about searing for a tangible answer in emotional or spiritual problems. She goes on to normalize the feelings and urges we all have and attempts to provide hope in the search for those answers. “Don’t let it get you down, you’re the best thing I’ve seenWe never found the answer but we knew one thingWe all have a hunger” 10. “Drug Addiction” by Colicchie “My pain’s deep, I have been through hellI managed to survive so I got a story to tell” The story that he tells is a relatable one that ends with solutions and hope to the worries that we have. “I felt pain, look I’m not afraid to cryMy life changed once I was willing to tryI’ve been giving many chances now it’s truly do or die” It’s now time to update your playlist! Are You Trying to Quit Using Drugs or Alcohol? We offer an array of addiction treatment services & therapies Author: Stephanie Pruefer, LPC, CADC – Footprints to Recovery – Primary Counselor
8 Practical Tips from a Therapist to Use Every Day
There are many different tips a therapist could share; however, the below is a set of easy to remember and effective concepts anyone can implement. Whether we practice it or not, we’re all familiar with the term: patience. We’ll use the acronym P.A.T.I.E.N.C.E. to easily remember the below tips, but also as a gentle reminder that change of any kind requires endurance. P: Pay attention to your body and your needs. Behaviors are a way of communication. Observe your behaviors and look for what it is you’re trying to communicate. Once you are able to identify those needs you are able to ask for help. For example: is your heart beating fast? Are you tired? Are you noticing increased irritability? Listen to yourself and learn when its time to ask for help. A: Ask for help. Every day is a different day and if you’re experiencing a struggle reach out for help. Identify a safe person that you know you can always reach out to for help. Asking for help is important to recovery so you aren’t in this alone. Chances are others have experienced it as well and can provide you with a new skill to help you overcome the struggle. T: Identify a trusted individual, or perhaps even a professional who you can just talk to. There is such a power in talking and processing things, we should all practice open lines of communications. I: Intuition. Practice listening to yourself and trusting yourself. There can be self-doubt on whether you are ready to trust yourself to make healthy decisions. Engage in meditation and self- exploration to understand yourself and strengthen your intuition. E: Explore yourself. Growth comes with understanding yourself, behaviors, and needs. Take time to explore who you are and what you want. Just a few moments a day on self-reflection can nurture and promote growth. For example: learn pieces of your identity (spirituality, self-care activities, nutrition, ways to have fun, and identifying others who promote healthy growth in your life.) N: Nurture yourself. Be kind and have patience with yourself. Meditate daily to learn relaxation and positive coping skills. Eat healthy, learning self-soothing techniques, and use positive self-talk. Positive self-talk is a powerful skill to change the way you think and see yourself. C: Change. Change is inevitable but often times something that we have the most difficult time with. You must first identify what needs to change and then make reasonable commitments to reach the goal. Take change slowly. Identify one thing you would like to focus on and change throughout the day. E: Experience. Find the opportunity in every experience. If you change your mindset to find an opportunity even in the most uncomfortable tasks you will begin to develop a positive outlook and find purpose. So much learning and growth can be found in new experiences. Recovering from addiction means finding new experiences. It may be trial and error before finding the right fit, but no matter what, keep trying and you can reach a better quality of life. The biggest growth comes from reflection within and learning to understand yourself. Final note: set an intention for each day first thing in the morning. That intention could be positivity, joy, calmness, peace etc. Putting a positive intention out can set the tone to have a great day. Author: Laura Golden, MSW, LSW – Footprints to Recovery – Substance Abuse Counselor
7 Ways to Combat Negative Self-Talk
Self-talk is the stream of thoughts and dialogue in your mind. It may take on several roles such as your inner critic, inner cheerleader, inner child, or inner adult. Self-talk is something everyone experiences regularly. It’s often linked to past experiences, core beliefs, and distorted cognitive processes. Self-talk can be driven by negative thoughts and feelings and can have a deep impact on self-esteem and perception of the world. Negative self-talk can largely impact self-esteem and maladaptive behaviors, which can fuel challenges like addiction and mental health issues. Examples of Negative Self-Talk There are some common patterns that people have around negative thinking and negative self-talk. Types of negative self-talk include: Personalizing You blame yourself for anything bad that happens with no evidence. You seem to always be beating yourself up. For example, a friend or coworker is in a bad mood and you immediately think it’s because you’ve done something to make them mad. Negative self-talk that personalizes a situation might be something like, “I’ve messed up again and now my friend is mad at me and I’ve caused their bad mood.” Catastrophizing Your mind always turns to the worst-case scenario. For example, you make a small mistake on a work report and automatically expect that you’ll be fired, won’t be able to pay your rent, and end up out on the street. Negative self-talk that catastrophizes could be the voice in your head saying, “I can’t do anything right and now I’ll be homeless and destitute because of it.” Filtering You only focus on the negative and filter out any positive in your life. For example, you had a great day, where most things went right, but then the deli got your order wrong, and you stew about that instead of focusing on all the good things about your day. An example of negative self-talk around filtering is telling yourself, “Nothing good ever happens to me. Life is unfair and there’s nothing I can do about it.” Changing Negative Self Talk You can overcome negative thinking and stop negative self-talk with attention to your patterns and hard work to change them. Here are seven ways to help you change negative self-talk: 1. Become Aware of Negative Self-Talk Becoming aware of negative thinking patterns and their impact on mood and behavior is the first step. Here are two examples to start doing that: 2. Challenge Negative Self-Talk As you get better at recognizing negative thinking patterns, you can begin to dive deeper and develop new patterns of thinking. Many times, negative thoughts are connected to irrational beliefs. Catch yourself and challenge these thoughts. Using concrete, positive affirmation is a great place to start. Instead of “I am never going to get this right,” challenge the thought with “I am doing my best, and my best is enough.” Retraining your mind and shifting your lens takes time and practice. 3. Practice Positive Self-Talk There are many ways to practice positive self-talk. One way is to focus on your blessings. When negative self-talk begins, try shifting your attention to the positive in your life, no matter how small it is. This is a simple yet powerful way to break the cycle of negativity. Whether it’s setting aside a minute or two before bed to reflect on the day, identifying five things that we are thankful for, or keeping a gratitude journal, practicing gratitude is not only a coping skill but an overall mindset. 4. Step Outside of Yourself Sometimes when you’re stuck in a negative thought cycle, it can be helpful to shift perspectives. Try asking yourself, “What would my best friend say?” or “Would I talk to my best friend like this?” Developing self-talk that has a foundation of self-love and compassion is powerful and can really combat the cycle of negativity. Talk to yourself the way you would speak to a loved one, taking a stance of empathy and encouragement. 5. Talk It Out There are times when you need to lean on your support systems to get out of your head and challenge negativity. Talking to someone in your network, a loved one or a therapist, can help you sort out what’s reality and what’s just your negative thinking about yourself and the world. 6. Put It on the Shelf At times, negative thoughts may feel so overwhelming that the best thing to do is take a break and step away. Visualize taking the negative thought or irrational belief and putting it on a shelf, or in a box — whatever works for you. This can help give you a moment of clarity. When the hamster wheel of negative thinking is spinning and you feel you can’t challenge those thoughts at the moment, put them on the shelf. Revisit them at a time that better serves you. Maybe later that night when you’re writing in your journal, or maybe later that week when you are at a support group or with your therapist. Visualization is an effective skill to manage thinking and increase a sense of control over thoughts. 7. Focus on the Present Moment Mindfulness is a tool that may not only combat negative thinking, but provides a sense of relief, giving you the ability to stop and refocus. Wherever your mind wanders, you have the power to bring it back to this moment and focus on the hope within the present. Breathing exercises, grounding, and meditation are all ways to focus on the now and break free from the grip of negative thoughts. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) For Negative Self-Talk Cognitive behavioral therapy is a research-backed approach that helps you identify negative thoughts and how these relate to your behaviors and self-esteem. It teaches you how to challenge negative thinking and beliefs about yourself and replace them with more positive ones. Cognitive behavioral therapy has been shown effective in helping reduce negative self-talk tied to unhealthy coping skills like substance abuse. When negative self-talk is fueling addiction and other destructive behaviors, it’s time to seek
Spring Cleaning for the Soul
The birds are chirping, the flowers are blooming and there is a faint smell of freshly mowed grass in the air. That’s right, it’s springtime. When I think of the word spring, I have one word I typically associate with it… cleaning. Time to open the windows, sweep the dust bunnies out of the corners and put away all of my winter gear (due to mother nature being a bit of a prankster this year, I may wait till June to do this last one). We all make those new years resolutions promising to change things in our lives to become our best selves in the new year. For those of us who have not stayed on track (hand raised), spring is the perfect time to get started on becoming our best selves. So, let’s get started! 1. Declutter If you are like me, you may have an area or two in your life (room, office, car, or daily bag) that looks like a tornado blew through it. For me, it’s my work bag. A pit of lose change, old straw wrappers, receipts, and any other thing you can think of that I may come into contact with in my day to day life. Every time I go to grab my keys or my wallet, I’m left searching for them in the pit of despair. I’m left in a constant state of panic wondering if I left them somewhere or they fell out of my bag. Organizing an area of your life that is in disarray can be an extremely gratifying experience. When you have order in your life, it gives you a sense of harmony. Having a serene space will provide you with a sense of gratitude for what you have and take away the anxiety of having to live in chaos. Remember, you become the energy you surround yourself with. 2. Rid yourself of toxic relationships They say 89% of people will at some point in their life be involved in a toxic relationship. This does not necessarily need to be a romantic one. Some people have toxic friends or family members. These relationships tend to make you feel taken advantage of and leave you feeling hurt. Well, it’s time to clean them out of your life! Delete them on social media so they aren’t given a window into what is going on in your life. Block their phone number so they aren’t able to contact you to pull you back in. Write a goodbye letter to them telling them everything they did to hurt you and why you no longer want them in your life. Then, throw that letter away! You heard me right, throw it away. You aren’t sending the letter because you don’t want that relationship to mend. You are writing down your feelings and throwing the letter away because you need to mend and that means, cleaning that person out of your life. Remember, if you continue to keep bad relationships around, you won’t have room for good ones to come into your life. 3. Find your passion What did you do yesterday or the day before that? Did you love it? Was it making your day better? Was it getting you to the place in life you ultimately want to be? If your answer is no, you aren’t doing something that you are passionate about. Now, if your passion is to become an actor, I don’t suggest you quit your day job and start auditioning for Broadway plays but, everyday you should do something that makes you feel good and gets you closer to your dream. How do you expect to do that when you go to work, come home, make dinner, and sit on the couch watching tv till you fall asleep? Enroll in an acting class or audition for a theater production in your community. Download monologues and practice reading them in the mirror until you figure out which one suits you best. The point is to push yourself each day to get to the place you want to be. When you clear out all of the things you are doing that aren’t serving you, you will be amazed at how much time you have for the things you love. Remember, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. 4. Journal I never used to keep a journal. To be honest, I didn’t see the point. Then one day, I was so anxious about something at work, I didn’t sleep that night or the next or the next. Every time I would lay my head down to sleep, I kept thinking about the situation and, how much I hated it and, how there was nothing I could do to change it and, how I was going to have to deal with it the next day. One day, a coworker told me to journal at night everything that was racing in my mind. I thought it was silly but, I went to Barnes and Noble and got myself a journal. I assumed I would just start listing the few things that I was upset about but instead, that turned into 3 pages of me listing what I didn’t like, how it made me feel, and what I wanted to happen. After I wrote it all, I felt two things, relieved and exhausted. I had finally gotten it all out. I wrote until I felt content. I laid my head down that night and fell right to sleep. Since then I do not journal every single night but, when my mind is racing, I journal to get all of my thoughts out. Cleaning out the negative leaves your mind empty and open to fill with solutions to turn the negative into a positive. So, grab that broom, I mean pen and clear out your mind. Remember, clearing your mind helps you listen to your heart. The word spring means “to move or jump suddenly or rapidly upward or forward.” When we
Embracing Our Dark Sides: Self-Acceptance of Our Best & Worst Selves
The first step to self-acceptance is accepting that you can’t accept yourself at this moment. Sounds simple, right? The words are easy to say, but the reality of self-acceptance is not a comfortable journey. Some days we can accept who we are. And some days we just can’t. The truth of who you are and the fantasy of who you want to be can keep you from accepting yourself. Self-Esteem vs. Self-Acceptance Self-esteem refers to how valuable we see ourselves, self-acceptance is a deeper level of accepting yourself. We base our self-esteem on our accomplishments and achievements. People easily confuse self-esteem and self-acceptance. They are both essential ingredients of emotional health. Self-esteem can be shattered when things do not go to plan, losing a job, or not getting into the college of your choice. When our self-esteem is damaged, it can be challenging to recover. True self-acceptance is embracing ALL parts of yourself–not just your positive traits but your negative traits as well. Self-acceptance is unconditional. You are aware of your limits and weaknesses without allowing them to interfere with accepting yourself. Self-esteem increases, the more we accept and love ourselves. Loving ourselves comes from self-acceptance. And we can only love ourselves by not judging ourselves. Only speak positively about yourself. Self-acceptance is a journey; you can not just will it to happen. Those with addiction and mental health disorders suffer from both low self-esteem and low self-acceptance. Each day in recovery can bring you closer to accepting your whole self. What Determines Our Self-Acceptance? Similar to self-esteem, as children, our self-acceptance is based on our parent’s acceptance of us. Parents who are encouraging and give positive feedback, cultivate self-acceptance in their children. Children misbehave, but that does not make them bad children. A parent who continually tells their children how bad they are will cultivate negative self-images. Self-acceptance is not only based on accepting behaviors. For example, if you were told you were selfish, not pretty enough, or not kind enough, it can damage the ability to accept yourself. Because we have all experienced some form of emotional abuse, we view ourselves as conditionally acceptable. We are extremely hard on ourselves. Self-criticism amplifies our problems as adults. Speaking negatively about ourselves and internalizing the rejection from parents and the outside world can lead to substance use disorders. It is easy to berate, blame, and physically abuse ourselves if that is the environment you grew up around. 3 Ways To Become More Self-Accepting Three ways to become more self-accepting are: Accepting ourselves without conditions is easy when we are raised in a supportive and encouraging environment. If that was not the case for you, then it is up to you to build your self-worth. Build yourself up, talk positively to yourself. Stop judging yourself. Keep in mind some small goals for you to reach when you reach those goals, set bigger goals. You are important, and you must keep that in mind when you are feeling down. Re-evaluate the people you surround yourself with and create a positive support group who believes in you. Robert Holden’s book, Happiness Now, states, “Happiness and self-acceptance go hand in hand.” Self-acceptance determines your level of happiness. The more self-acceptance you have, the happier you allow yourself to be. You will only be as happy as you feel you are worthy of being. And each person is worthy of the greatest of happiness. Letting go of guilt is essential in becoming more self-accepting. Your past has gotten you where you are today. It’s provided you with both vulnerabilities and strengths. Your past has the potential to become an important part of your life. And an even more significant part of your life when you embrace it. After you contemplate the events, relationships, and feelings of the past, you will gain insight as to who you are and who you are. Let go of the extravagant and unattainable ideas of how your recovery should go. Forgive yourself for past wrongdoings, hardships, or mistakes. Self-acceptance is a difficult process, and you must remember to be patient with yourself. Becoming more self-accepting requires that we begin to understand that we’re not what we have been told, whether it’s our looks, intellect, or any questionable behavior. Our actions have all been coerced by some combination of background and biology. Going forward, we absolutely can take responsibility for ways we’ve hurt or wronged others. But if we are to work on becoming more self-accepting productively, we must do so with compassion and forgiveness in our hearts. We need to realize that, up to this point, we could not have behaved differently. 5 Stages of Improving Self-Acceptance Psychologist Christopher Germer explains in his book The Mindful Path To Self-Compassion that self-acceptance development occurs in five stages. Stage 1: Aversion It is human instinct to respond to uncomfortable feelings with avoidance, resistance, or rumination ( continued thinking of a problem to fix it). We all have avoidance behaviors, drinking, overeating, or working too much. We may not even be aware of what we are feeling, but the uncomfortable feelings can lead to avoidance behaviors. The path to self-acceptance is not to avoid feelings. Be mindful of feelings. Process the feelings, and do not push them away. Stage 2: Curiosity When you face your feelings and aversion no longer works, curiosity takes over. You want to learn more about why you feel the way you do. Curiosity can cause some anxiety, but nonetheless, it is an essential step in self-acceptance. Question the feeling. What are you feeling? What led to this feeling? How can I overcome this feeling? Being curious about every aspect of your feelings is vital to building a strong sense of well-being and self-acceptance. Stage 3: Tolerance Tolerance is enduring the pain, but wishing it would go away. You may resist the pain and even fake being happy. It is not a comfortable journey to confront the pain and heal it and not just tolerate it. Old habits
Learn to Love Yourself in Recovery
Low self-worth can go hand-in-hand with addiction. Self-esteem issues may have contributed to substance abuse, and the guilt and shame of addiction can perpetuate it. Mending the emotional wounds of drug and alcohol abuse takes time. Learning to love yourself is part of that. It’s about getting to know yourself and the person that was buried by drugs and alcohol and learning to like and accept that person. When you’re constantly focused on your perceived flaws, past mistakes, and a laundry list of items for self-improvement that’s a difficult charge. Learning to love yourself in addiction recovery and accept your authentic self is often easier said than done. So much of your identity was wrapped up in your addiction. Now that you have found freedom from drugs and alcohol, you’re left with facing all the different parts of yourself — even the ones you perceive as “flawed” or “bad.” Finding self-love is one of the most rewarding and life-changing things you can do; but it doesn’t come without challenges. There are small steps you can take to learn to love yourself in recovery. You can come to terms with who you once were and who you have come to be now. Here are a few ways to begin to learn to love yourself: #1 Forgive Yourself Forgiveness is so important in recovery. People who’ve struggled with addiction often find it hard to forgive themselves for their behaviors around drugs and alcohol. You cannot change your past; you can only learn from it. Be kind and gentle with yourself. When you focus on the past, you rob yourself of who you’ve chosen to be today. Your past can only define you if you let it. Taking responsibility for your mistakes is one thing but continuing to beat yourself up over them will only impede your ability to move forward. Accept yourself as is. Allow yourself to be flawed and full of imperfections, because the truth is, we all are. Celebrate victories of growth, and practice not beating yourself up over small mistakes. You are your own worst critic. To learn to love yourself and find peace, you need to accept that perfection is unattainable for anyone. Remember, even the people you admire make mistakes. Be kind to yourself and allow room to be human. #2 Practice Gratitude It’s easy to make a list of everything you want to change to be happy. Instead, make a list of everything you love about yourself and your life. Research shows that practicing gratitude can: Set a timer for five minutes. Write down as many things you are grateful for in that time as you can. Include the little things. Next, list the attributes about yourself that are positive and unique to you. Forcing yourself to list the best parts of you will help you realize you’re a better person than you gave yourself credit for. Try setting aside time to express gratitude every single day. For example, list five things in a gratitude journal every evening that you’re grateful for. Everyone has a light inside themselves that can be clouded by negative self-image, especially if you’ve struggled with drug and alcohol addiction. It just takes a little practice to shine light on all the good in yourself and learn to love yourself. #3 Set Boundaries Boundaries are something many people struggle with. Maybe you think if you say no to someone, that makes you selfish. In reality, setting boundaries and saying no to things or people that can put your recovery in jeopardy and harm you physically, emotionally, or spiritually are the greatest forms of self-love. You are choosing to put your happiness first. You are choosing to let others know that you value yourself and your happiness is just as important as theirs. You are choosing to not participate in things out of your comfort zone that could impact your sobriety. If you’ve been in any form of addiction treatment, you probably learned how critical boundaries can be in preventing relapse. #4 Surround Yourself With Supportive People Anyone that makes you feel bad about yourself does not deserve to be in your life. Having toxic people around can destroy your self-worth. Make sure the people in your life are positive and give you encouragement, especially when it comes to recovery. In doing so, you are telling yourself, “I am a great person and I deserve to feel love every day.” Work on your relationship with yourself as well. Make sure that voice in your head is one that’s supportive and loving. #5 Celebrate Your Wins Would you only celebrate your 30th birthday? What about your 26th, 27th, 28th, or 29th? Those are all important! It’s the same in recovery. Your second day is just as important as your second year. No victory is too small. Everything that you work for to make happen is a victory and should make you feel great about who you are and what you have accomplished. Celebrate yourself and all that you’ve worked so hard for every chance you get. Treat yourself, do things you enjoy, and share about your accomplishments with people who appreciate you. #6 Give Back The act of giving opens up a treasure chest of love and positive emotions that will help you learn to love yourself in a fresh and vibrant way. Volunteer with disadvantaged youth at a local community center or start small by performing small acts of kindness for people at home or work. The love in your heart for others will begin to multiply, leaving almost no room to dislike yourself. #7 Make Self-Care a Priority Self-care is an open doorway to our own self-love and acceptance in the human experience. When you learn to love yourself, you take care of yourself. Everything that we consume affects our emotions and energy levels. Exercise and movement can boost your mood and self-confidence. Focusing on yourself and ways you can stay physically and mentally healthy is key to self-love as well
Watch Out for These 5 Addiction Triggers
Getting sober is hard. Staying sober is sometimes harder. The good news is that millions of people are living in recovery, and you can too. If you’re recovering from a substance use disorder, paying attention to triggers can help you safeguard your sobriety, especially in early addiction recovery. Between 40-60% of people in recovery relapse. That doesn’t mean you’re destined for relapse; it just means you should prepare for triggers and challenges as best you can. As part of your relapse prevention plan, you should be able to identify triggers and have a plan when you encounter them. Here are some important areas to pay attention to, especially when you’re new to recovery: #1 HALT: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired You may have already heard the acronym, “HALT” in inpatient rehab or outpatient rehab. HALT stands for: hungry, angry, lonely, tired. Basic needs like eating well or getting enough sleep can have a great impact on how you feel physically and mentally. In addiction recovery, you’re encouraged to “halt” and ask yourself if you’re experiencing any of those conditions. Feelings of unbalance can be internal triggers for addictive behaviors. It’s more difficult to remember healthy coping skills when you’re experiencing any of these deficits. Am I Hungry? Hunger can come in the form of an actual need for food or an emotional hunger. Check-in with your body and quiet your mind. Halt, and ask yourself if the hunger you\’re feeling is tied to a need for food, or is it a void from stress, sadness, or loneliness? It’s sometimes easy to mistake emotional hunger for physical hunger. If you’re physically hungry, eat something healthy instead of turning to sugary or overprocessed foods that may provide a quick fix, but will make you feel worse in the long run. If you’re emotionally hungry, try these tactics: Am I Angry? Intense or uncomfortable emotions like anger can trigger drug and alcohol abuse in people with substance use disorders. This is why many drug rehabs include anger management as part of programming. Anger is a natural emotion, but some people have complex issues around anger, usually based on the messages received about it as a child. This can make anger a loaded emotion you want to escape from. In the past, this escape may have come in the form of substance abuse. If you’re feeling triggered, halt and ask yourself if you’re experiencing anger or another uncomfortable emotion. Positive emotions can even be uncomfortable in early recovery. When you’ve been numbing feelings with drugs and alcohol, it takes time to relearn what to do with emotions. Healthy ways to deal with anger instead of abusing drugs include: Am I Lonely? Recovery can feel lonely at times, and loneliness is a risk factor for addiction relapse. Sometimes sobriety means building a new friend group or changing relationships with family. You don’t have to be physically alone to experience loneliness. Feeling like you don’t have anything in common or strong connections with the people in your life can also make you feel alone. If you’re the only one not drinking at a party or a family gathering, that can bring feelings of loneliness as well. Drugs and alcohol may feel like an old friend that can bring comfort. A sober network of peers is a critical piece of recovery. If you’re feeling lonely and tempted to use drugs or alcohol, attend an Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, or SMART Recovery group; call your sponsor; or call a loved one. Am I Tired? Getting enough sleep is an important part of keeping your brain and body healthy. Lack of sleep can have many detrimental effects on your health, and it’s also a risk factor for relapse. Make sure you’re on a regular sleep schedule. Tiredness can also come in the form of mental exhaustion. Create some space in your mind with activities like meditation or yoga, or participating in anything that feels meditative to you, like playing or listening to music, knitting, creating art, or running. #2 Old Friends Abusing Substances It’s best to avoid as many external triggers as possible in early recovery, which includes your old friend group. Addiction changes the brain in ways that mean certain situations provide cues to drink or use drugs, activating the reward system so that it’s nearly impossible to refuse substances. Hanging out with the same people you used drugs and alcohol with is a test that you should not put your early sobriety up against. #3 Places Tied to Drinking or Using Drugs In the same way former friends can be relapse triggers, your brain links places to substance abuse as well. Just driving by an old haunt where you would use drugs or your regular bar can bring up a powerful urge to abuse substances. While it might be impossible to avoid all people and places associated with drug or alcohol abuse, it’s best to not seek out these things. Creating as much distance as possible between triggers you can control is important for people in recovery. #4 Celebrations and Parties With Alcohol or Drugs Preventing relapse may mean avoiding situations with any drug or alcohol use for a while. Many people in recovery reach a point where they feel more comfortable around substance use and don’t feel as triggered. It takes time to build the healthy coping skills needed to tolerate these situations for people recovering from alcohol and drug addiction. For some, this can take years. Be patient with yourself. To be safe, avoid parties or gatherings with substance use until you develop healthy coping mechanisms, have many months of sobriety under your belt, and have a specific action plan in place for dealing with these types of triggers. #5 High-Stress Situations Stress is a natural part of life. There’s no way to avoid it, but trying to eliminate unnecessary sources of stress in early recovery can make coping with triggers easier. High-stress situations are different for everyone. For example, high-conflict relationships with loved ones
Coping With the Winter Blues: Tips for Seasonal Affective Disorder
As much as some of us wish, we can’t sleep away the winter months in hibernation. However, we can find healthy ways to deal with unwanted feelings that come with it. The decreasing sunlight and cold weather in fall and winter can make some people feel down due to shorter days and colder temps; then begin to feel better in the spring and summer, which bring longer daylight hours. This is called seasonal affective disorder (SAD), and it’s a type of depression. The condition is characterized by a recurrent, seasonal pattern with symptoms of depression lasting four to five months per year. Here are tips for coping with seasonal affective disorder. The symptoms of seasonal depression impact how you feel, think, and manage daily tasks. The “winter blues” can bring about mild depressive symptoms such as: More severe signs and symptoms of SAD can include: If you find yourself with any of these SAD symptoms for more days than not, it’s important to reach out to a mental health professional for appropriate treatment options. Some people need regular behavioral therapy and potentially antidepressant medications and light therapy to overcome seasonal depression symptoms. With the change of seasons, however, many of us are prone to at least some changes in mood. It’s normal to have some days when you feel down. Making some lifestyle changes can help manage your mood, support good behavioral health, and make the winter months much more enjoyable. Here are some self-help tips to lift your mood: #1 Connect With Your Values Choose intentional actions that hold your interest and concentration. It doesn’t need to be a massive undertaking. Keep it simple. Taking action can be as small as walking across the room or putting an item away. Keep your interest moving towards aspects of your life that give you energy as opposed to drain you. You’re at your best when your thoughts, feelings, and actions are in sync with what matters to you. Passive activities, such as watching television, are often too weak to hold your interest and can push you away from meaningful action. #2 Catch Yourself, and Avoid “Avoiding” Whenever you decide to put off a task (even for a moment), do at least a small bit instead. It’s normal to want to avoid anything that’s a perceived threat to our plans. Catch yourself avoiding, and then avoid your avoidance — at least for a minute or two. For example, if you’ve been avoiding doing your laundry, and decide to make yourself a cup of tea before you get started, pull the clothes out of the dryer before you make the tea. You’ll find that once you get started, you’ll want to continue. If you’re still forcing yourself to do the laundry after a couple of minutes, stop; do your avoidance activity (drinking tea); and then reapply the “do a little first” strategy. Even a small sense of accomplishment can boost your mood. #3 Exercise Physical activity is a wonderful way to decrease anxiety and tip for seasonal affective disorder. Staying busy and increasing endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine is a natural and free antidepressant. Join a gym or a class where you’re around other people to increase social contact. Establishing an exercise routine can be a valuable lifestyle change that establishes a new structure for your day. A regular exercise routine not only benefits your mental health but keeps your physical health in check too. Weight gain can be an effect of seasonal affective disorder due to feelings of lethargy and a tendency to eat high-calorie, high-fat comfort foods to cope with low mood. Exercise safeguards you against some of the health effects that can accompany weight gain. #4 Do the Opposite of What You Feel Like Doing Try doing the opposite of what your passive side is telling you to do, and you’ll find that you have begun a movement away from passivity. It can be tempting to wait until we “feel motivated” to take action, but the reality is, that feeling only comes by taking action and engaging with the environment. For example, if you feel like withdrawing from a confrontation, approach the person instead of hiding. #5 Keep a Normal Sleep Schedule Even though snow and ice might make you want to curl up all morning in your warm bed, it’s important to keep a set sleep schedule all week long, including weekends. Hypersomnia, or oversleeping, is common in the winter and it can also add to your low mood. A regular sleep pattern of going to bed and waking at the same time every day is one way to help regulate your circadian rhythm. #6 Aim for Balance in Your Life You can help maintain balance in your life by scheduling action and structure into your normal activities. These may include regular practices like getting up in the morning, making breakfast, exercising, taking a walk, talking to someone, answering email, and checking your voicemail. The last activity you schedule for the day should be to sit down and schedule the next day’s activities. #7 Do Something New Mix it up a little. Try a different hairstyle. Explore a part of town you’ve never visited. Novelty creates curiosity and keeps you from getting stagnant. The decision to do something new puts you in motion. #8 Watch Your Diet You may crave junk food or fast food when you’re feeling down but watch what you eat. Limit your caffeine and sugary drinks as they tend to create a “crash” feeling. Complex carbohydrates take longer to digest and help to increase serotonin or “feel-good” hormones in your brain. These go-to brain foods include spinach, sweet potatoes, broccoli, beans or lentils, and zucchini. Chocolate and almonds are also a good mood-boosting snack. #9 Spend Time With Friends and Family Socializing is important for your mental health, especially with only six or seven hours of natural light a day. Chatting with loved ones is always good but try to do something active like going
Without Realistic Goals, You Might Fail: Here’s Why
Change is a big word, and a successful recovery requires a great deal of it. That thought can be overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. It does, however, require some strategies. One of the best ways to bring about change in your life is to learn to set realistic goals. A personal goal differs from a dream or a wish in some specific ways. A wish or a dream does not demand any action or effort on your part. “I wish I could win the lottery” is a perfectly valid wish, just as, “I dream about having grandchildren one day” is a perfectly nice dream. Neither of these is a goal, though, because the outcome is not at all within your sphere of influence. In other words, there’s nothing you can do to make it happen. A goal is a wish that makes demands on you—that’s wholly dependent on you to achieve it. Why Is It Important to Set Goals? The process of setting goals is key in recovery because it is the first step to taking control of the outcome. Goals help you gain control of your life, and the more of your own life you control, the more your life will look the way you want it to. Goal-setting puts you in the driver’s seat on the way to your future. To begin the process of setting goals, divide them into categories. This can help you set goals that are both relevant and balanced, so you don’t run the risk of burning out on one goal (such as attending two 12-step meetings per week) or category while neglecting other areas of your life (such as your job or your partner). Here are some examples of goal categories: Professional – Goals related to your career could be getting a new job, asking for a raise, training for a new line of work, pursuing a degree, or changing your profession altogether. Spiritual – Examples could be finding a house of worship that feels welcoming, beginning a meditation practice, or practicing gratitude each day. Financial – Financial goals might include creating and maintaining a household budget, reducing unnecessary spending, or paying off a debt. Relationship – Interpersonal goals are things like designating a date night once a week with your partner, committing to calling your parent(s) once a week, or making time to get together with friends. Health – Goals that support your wellness might include taking a walk every day, committing to meatless Mondays, or cutting back on processed foods. There are many more possibilities for your goal-setting categories. Choose categories that are meaningful to you and in sync with the areas in your life you want to give attention to. In addition to categories, your list can be divided into long-term and short-term goals. Are Your Goals SMART? In 1981 George T. Doran first used the acronym SMART to describe criteria for effective goal-setting. A SMART goal is one that is: Specific Measurable Achievable Realistic Time-bound As the concept of SMART goals has become more common, some have added the letters “E” and “R” for “Exciting” and “Recorded.” When considering your goals, ask yourself if each of these words can be applied to your goal. These elements increase your chances of actually reaching the goal you set. For example, “My goal is to lose weight” is not a SMART goal. “My goal is to lose 8 to 10 lbs. in the next 2 months” is a far better goal, as it is specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound—as well as giving you a bit of flexibility. Goals are not meant to make you feel bad. The purpose of goal-setting is to bring clarity and motivation, and to help you prioritize. If you feel overwhelmed by your goals, then they might need to be SMARTER! Creating Your Action Plan Once you have a handle on your goals, the next step is to put them into action. Often there is a gap between what we want for ourselves and where we are now. The way to get from here to there is to have a clear plan of action. The elements of a good action plan are: Motivation – How can I stay motivated to move toward my goals every day? Accessibility – Are there easy and reasonable steps I can take along the way? Immediacy – Is there something I can do right now to get me closer to my goals? Now that you have a goal-setting mindset, follow these steps and get some goals: Take inventory of where you are now and where you would like to be – Divide your life into categories, and set goals according to the areas you wish to strengthen. Envision your life as if you have already achieved your goals – Use the power of your mind to imagine what your life will look life in the aftermath. Write down your goals – You might want to use a goal-oriented planner (like this one) to easily track your progress. There are many others on the market. Break down your goals into small, actionable, achievable pieces – Even within each category, break down your goals into bite-sized pieces at first, so you can start to experience some achieved goals. Each time you succeed, you are more likely to try again. Be flexible – Be prepared to gently revise your goals if your success journal reflects that you are not reaching your milestones. That’s okay! Try, flex, forgive, repeat. Make a vision board – Create or find images that show how your life will look when you have reached your goals. This could be a house, money representing a well-paying job, a happy family, etc. Put your vision board where you can see it often, so your goals stay fresh in your mind at all times. Value this process – Keep in mind that you are setting your goals for one person: your! Their purpose is designing your life in a better way.
