Holiday Triggers and Tips to avoid a holiday relapse
Twinkle lights all around, holiday songs playing on the radio, gatherings of friends and family… what’s not to love about the holiday season?!?! It is, as the song goes, “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!” It is also a time of year when those who suffer from substance use disorder are more prone to relapse. Many treatment centers report seeing a spike in admissions shortly after the holiday season. While getting help is important, staying clean and sober is something we all wish for in recovery and, can be achieved if you can identify your triggers. Holiday Work Parties A fun-filled night with coworkers that turns into the hangover of the century and embarrassing stories to be told on Monday morning. Raise your hand if this sounds familiar? While it’s true that holidays parties can be centered around alcohol and drugs, they don’t have to be. Tip – Plan before you go.
Should You Hold an Intervention?
While on the surface, an intervention might seem pretty straightforward and easy, it’s actually an incredibly complicated ordeal that involves a lot of moving parts. Not only do you have to get the group together and figure out a time and place that works for everyone, but you also have to convince the person who you think needs an intervention to come to the location where it’s going to take place. So, how do you go about holding an intervention? Well, let’s take a look. What is an Intervention? In the simplest of terms, an intervention is an occurrence in which a person with a problem, such as a drug or alcohol addiction, is confronted by a group of friends or family members. The goal of an intervention is to compel the person to acknowledge and deal with the problem. What Happens During an Intervention? As we discussed in the intro, on the surface, an intervention seems like a pretty straight forward thing. A family member or loved one is suffering from a problem, usually a drug or alcohol addiction, and doesn’t see how it is not only negatively affecting themselves, but others in their lives as well. You gather everyone together, including the person suffering from the addiction, where you sit them down and tell them how their addiction is affecting themselves and others. It seems pretty simple, right? Well, in most cases, it’s anything but simple. First off, it’s likely going to be difficult to convince the addict to even show up for the intervention. You will likely have to figure out a way to get them to show up without them knowing what’s really going on. After you get them there, be prepared for a lot of anger, hostility, and animosity. Chances are the person suffering doesn’t think they have a problem. Or, they think that it’s not affecting others. While you and the others participating know this is not the case, it could cause some disagreements and heated arguments. During the intervention, you and the others participating will take turns sharing how the person’s addiction has either hurt you, hurt themselves, or have adversely affected your relationship. An ultimatum will likely need to be given in order to hammer home just how serious this is. In most cases, the intervention will involve undergoing some sort of addiction treatment. It’s important that everyone participating in the intervention agree to the ultimatum beforehand, and all remain on the same page during the intervention. If one person deviates from the plan, it can ruin the entire intervention. How Do You Plan an Intervention? Like the entire process, planning an intervention is more complicated than it may seem. Here are some things to consider when planning an intervention. Getting a team together The only way that an intervention can be truly effective is to get a group of close friends and family members together. These should be people that not only care deeply for the addict but people that the addict also cares deeply for and respects. If you would like to bring in a professional to help with the intervention, they will need to be included in this team as well. Learn about the process Unless you or someone in the group you have picked has been through an intervention before, then chances are you will need to study up on the process. Many people choose to hire a professional such as a therapist or interventionist who have experience in running interventions to help with the process. If you choose to run it yourself, it is important that you do your homework. Pick a time and place If your intervention is going to involve several people, this can be difficult. You will need to make sure to pick a time and place that works for everyone. When it comes to picking the location, make sure it is somewhere that the person who needs the intervention will feel safe. This will help make them feel more comfortable, which will hopefully help make the intervention more effective. Learn about their addiction If you haven’t already, take the time to learn not just about their addiction, but the recovery process as well. If you go into this with knowledge about not just the addiction, but the options they have as far as treatment and recovery go, they are more likely to take the intervention seriously. Presenting options will make it feel less like you are ganging up on them, and make them realize that you are here to help them. Prepare a statement It’s crucial that all the participants in the intervention prepare a written statement that they will want to read during the intervention. By preparing a statement in advance, this will allow you to put all your thoughts down on paper in a constructive way while taking a lot of the emotion out of it. Written statements about the impact on relationships can help the person struggling with addiction to understand that their struggle does not impact them alone. Hope for the best, but plan for the worst It’s important to remember that, no matter how much planning and rehearsing goes into an intervention, there’s a chance it will not go well. Just because it didn’t go well doesn’t mean that you failed. Many times addicts don’t want to acknowledge that they have a problem. It’s important to have a plan in place just in case the intervention does not go as well as you would have hoped. You may want to give an ultimatum or even stop any enabling behaviors and limit access to finances, housing, or any other support you provide that enables addictive behaviors to continue. What NOT To Do During an Intervention We talked about all the things to focus on doing during an intervention; now it’s time to talk about the things to avoid doing. Because an intervention is such a tricky thing to pull off, it’s important not only to
College Students Can Manage Back-to-School Relapse Triggers
In fall 2019, almost 20 million people will attend college in the United States. A little more than 12 million will go to school fulltime while about 7.8 million will be part-time students, according to the National Center for Education Statistics. For many of these people, heading back to school means a blur of activity colored with the promise of a fresh start. For students who are trying to live free from drugs and alcohol, the chance to start over is a huge gift. But college presents with various triggers for relapse to drug and alcohol use. According to the results from the 2014 National Survey on Drug Use and Health: Detailed Tables (NSDUH) about 33 percent of fulltime college students between the ages of 18 and 22 reported past-month binge drinking, and about 20 percent reported past-month use of an illicit drug. Here are some of the most common triggers for drinking and drug use in college, coupled with healthy coping mechanisms that can turn things around. 1: Academic Pressure Many people fear the perceived pressure that comes with college-level work: both the need to get good grades and the push to become a leader on campus in order to demonstrate expertise. Whether the goal is to transition into the workforce after graduation or to enroll in grad school, the need to get good grades and qualify for competitive academic programs is significant. Many students feel the pressure from the first day of their freshman year. Rather than attempt to relieve this pressure with binge drinking, college students can: Create a written plan for all the work they need to accomplish, starting with mapping out big projects and exams, and breaking down each one into actionable, bite-sized pieces. Get the sleep they need to be awake and aware during class. Recognize when a subject is difficult and ask for help from the professor and teaching assistants. Know when to say “no” to a commitment that is too intensive or will conflict with the ability to achieve higher priority objectives. 2: Social Pressure Feeling accepted by a community of peers on a social level can be just as stressful as academic pressure. If peers regularly drink or use drugs, it can be difficult to abstain and still feel a connection with the group. Instead of feeling like it’s necessary to be like the group and drink or get high, students can: Spend time with their peers when they are not drinking and getting high. Seek out new peer groups where substance abuse is not a focus. Try to connect with new friends on a one-on-one basis, where drinking and drug use will not be part of the experience. Connect with new people based on shared interests, like a sport or an extracurricular group. 3: Curiosity College is a time of exploration, and for many, first time use and/or regular use of substances begins during these years. According to the 2014 NSDUH, on an average day, about 7,000 fulltime college students tried alcohol or a drug for the first time. When substance use begins as a means of managing college stressors, it’s a serious problem. Rather than viewing substance abuse as a rite of passage, students can consider: The potential risks of a single use of any substance, especially one that is purchased off the street, as its makeup is virtually unknown. The high rate of addiction among those who use substances regularly for any reason. The life-changing risks associated with unsafe choices made under the influence. The recovery period after drinking and getting high and how it can impact academic performance. 4: Heartbreak Drugs and alcohol play a big role in the dating scene at college. Many people meet at parties and bars while under the influence, and it can have a significant impact on the value of the connection and the subsequent relationship. In any situation where substances play a role, there is the potential to “medicate” the ups and downs with more drugs and alcohol. Instead, students can: Look for romantic possibility with someone who does not drink or use drugs regularly. Find a commonality in a romantic partner that extends beyond a social group, such as shared interests or beliefs. Maintain strong friendships. Ask for help from a therapist or counselor if feelings become overwhelming. 5: Untreated Mental Health Symptoms Many significant mental health disorders begin during the late teens and early 20s. It is not always easy to identify confusing feelings and difficult responses to life as signs that there is something bigger going on. If life often becomes overwhelming or dramatic, and using drugs and alcohol to manage those feelings is the only way out, it might be time for students to: Seek the support of a therapist. Talk to family members who may be experiencing similar difficulties. Consider whether or not an addiction to drugs and alcohol has developed. Understand that treatment may need to include medication and/or treatment for a co-occurring addiction disorder. Are you concerned that drinking or drug use is becoming a problem? How can you manage triggers more healthfully?
Thought Stopping Techniques for Addiction
If you’ve ever had re-occurring or intrusive thoughts, you may have wished there were a way you could just erase them forever, or at least take a break from them. Thought stopping is a tool sometimes used in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and other therapeutic approaches. Thought stopping gained popularity in the 1980s, but its effectiveness in those early forms has since been questioned. Some research finds that intentionally suppressing obsessive or unwanted thoughts can create a rebound effect where the thought occurs more often. However, in more recent times, certain forms of “thought stopping” have been recognized as a useful skill for coping with stress or managing intrusive thoughts that can feel overwhelming during addiction recovery, such as: Here are some thought-stopping techniques that can be helpful relapse prevention tools in addiction recovery. These techniques may not be appropriate for people with conditions like obsessive compulsive disorder, panic disorder, or panic attacks. You should always work with a behavioral health professional to find what coping techniques and approaches are best for your situation. #1 Acknowledge Intrusive Thoughts Recognizing negative thought patterns can help you begin to change how you handle them. You can’t “stop” thinking. The brain is thinking all of the time, so getting rid of thoughts isn’t possible. But sometimes just acknowledging a thought can give it less power. Try viewing your thoughts like a young child showing off a new skill who keeps saying, “Look at me! Watch this!” They will keep saying it over and over again until they know you’ve seen them and have acknowledged them. Sometimes, thoughts work in the same way. It’s like they’re raising their hands saying, “Hey, over here! I have something important to say!” Try acknowledging the thought without judging it. Just notice that it’s there and move on without trying to suppress it. You can even try talking to the thought. Say something like, “I hear this thought. It’s okay to have this thought. I can choose how much attention I give this thought right now.” This serves as a reminder that you are in control, not the thought. #2 Challenge Negative Thinking Proven approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy help you stop negative thought patterns by identifying unhealthy ones and challenging their accuracy. This is known as cognitive restructuring. For example, say you’re having the thought, “I am a failure, and I will never be able to stay sober.” In CBT, you learn to question the validity of this thought and belief. Your therapist may ask you to recall times in your life when you accomplished something, even if you think it’s very small. They may ask you to give credence to the fact that you’ve been able to refrain from drugs or alcohol use for certain periods of time. They’ll encourage you to consider what real proof you have that you are a failure and that you will never be able to stay sober. You’ll learn to pick apart those justifications to see how much truth they actually hold. #3 Replace Intrusive Thoughts Another negative thought-stopping technique in CBT involves replacing ruminations with more accurate and positive ones. For instance, in the example, “I’m a failure, and I will never be able to stay sober,” once you’ve identified and challenged this belief, your therapist may ask you to think of alternative thoughts. This might include thoughts around specific, successful experiences, and any periods of sobriety in your life. #4 Use Mindfulness Techniques Mindfulness is a research-based approach found helpful in: Practices of mindfulness come in many forms including meditation, yoga, sensory experiences, and relaxation and deep breathing techniques. Mindfulness can help stop unwanted thoughts by bringing your focus back to the present moment. Paying attention to your senses can help ground you. For example, when your brain starts spinning on a hamster wheel of ruminations, you can create space by noticing your sensory experience right at that moment. Name out loud or in your mind: After that, close your eyes and do a body scan with muscle isolation. Move from one muscle group to the next, from your toes up to your head. Notice and release any tension. Another approach to this exercise is when you catch yourself having unwanted thoughts, shift your mind into a positive memory. Maybe it’s a memory of a relaxing vacation or a happy memory with your loved ones. Use all five senses to tell yourself the whole story. What did this memory sound like, feel like, smell like, taste like, and look like? #5 Journal Journaling can have several mental health benefits and is often taught as a coping skill in addiction treatment programs. Some research shows that certain types of journaling can reduce symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder and other conditions that may fuel drug and alcohol abuse. Journaling helps reduce distressing thoughts in a couple of ways. Writing down your ruminations on paper can be a cathartic experience. It can lessen the hold they have on you, as your mind feels like it’s “gotten them out.” Writing down unwanted thoughts is also an opportunity to note any evidence that supports the thought; evidence that contradicts the thought; and identify a more balanced thought. This is why journaling assignments are often part of cognitive behavioral therapy. #6 Set a Time Limit For Negative Thoughts In the same vein as acknowledging thoughts and giving them attention so they’ll feel noticed and move on, some people set aside time every day for negative thoughts. Give yourself a designated amount of time each day, or as needed, to devote to negative thoughts. Sit down and intentionally think about the distressing thought. Let your mind ruminate as much as it wants. You can journal or just focus on your thoughts. Put on a timer for a set amount of time, and when the timer goes off, shift your attention to an enjoyable activity, positive memory, or mindfulness practice. #7 Use a Thought-Stopping Cue Some people have success with a word or action meant
How to Help Someone with Addiction
It’s not easy watching a loved one go down the dark path of substance abuse and mental health concerns. Family and friends often feel powerless while searching for how. Relationships are complex enough already. When addiction is added, they get more confusing for everyone. The good news is there are ways to help a spouse, a sibling, a child, or a friend make positive changes and overcome their struggles with drugs and alcohol. One of the best ways is to seek professional help from a certified addiction treatment center like Footprints to Recovery. Rehab centers provide recovery methods for addiction, such as: These are part of programs like: The staff at treatment centers have skills and experience in treating people with addiction problems. They’re able to guide the person in question on how best to manage their recovery process. Signs of Substance Abuse If a spouse or other family member or a friend needs substance abuse treatment, there are several signs to look out for. These signs can be divided into three subcategories: physical, emotional, and social. Physical Signs of Substance Abuse The physical signs of substance abuse disorders can be obvious or difficult to notice. Finding drugs, alcohol, or paraphernalia, or finding someone mid-use are obvious signs. More subtle signs of addiction to alcohol or drugs like cocaine, meth, heroin, or prescription drugs include: Emotional Signs of Addiction Substance abuse takes its toll on everyone. The mental health issues that arise from abuse can be difficult to hide, though some manage to do it for years or even decades. If your wife or brother, aunt, or adult child started acting differently than usual, you’d want to know why, especially when the changes in behavioral health are so negative, like mood swings, apathy, or swinging from lethargic to hyperactive in a short period. Perhaps a loved one is lying, and you know it but don’t understand why they’re acting that way. Alcohol or drug addiction could be the culprit. Social Signs of Addiction Humans are very social beings. We live, work, learn, and grow alongside one another and rely on each other for support. Changes in social patterns could mean someone is struggling with substance abuse. For instance, someone you love could be staying out later or spending time with a new group of people. They may not enjoy the same places or activities they did before. They may start skipping out on obligations like school, work, or hobbies. These are all potential red flags of addiction. If you suspect that someone you love is struggling with substance abuse, it’s important to reach out and offer support as soon as possible. How Addiction Affects Family Relationships The addiction struggles and behavioral health issues of a family member can have a devastating effect on relationships within the family unit. Seeing any loved one fall into the terrifying cycle of addiction can strain even a healthy relationship. Husbands and wives struggle to cope as they watch their spouse become unstable due to substance abuse. It can be confusing and scary to watch a sibling struggle with drugs and alcohol. Addiction can cause trust issues in relationships. That makes it difficult for those closest to the addict to understand what the addict is going through. Feelings of guilt, shame, anger, frustration, and helplessness often lead to strained communication between family members. This lack of communication can cause further rifts in already fragile relationships. The group therapy and family therapy available in drug and alcohol treatment programs can be great resources for developing communication skills and healing relationships. While all family members involved will inevitably be impacted by addiction, it’s important to recognize that it affects everyone differently. How Can You Help Someone with Addiction? It is important for family members or close friends of someone suffering from addiction to understand the situation they are facing. Addiction affects everyone in a different way and understanding why someone has turned to substance abuse can help you provide love and support. Past trauma may be a factor. Mental health issues like depression, anxiety, or stress can also play a role in a substance abuse disorder. Regardless of why someone abuses drugs and alcohol, the important thing is to get them help. One way to start the process of helping a partner, child, sibling, or any loved one with recovery is through an intervention. What Is an Intervention? An intervention is an organized meeting between a person struggling with addiction and their family, friends, or loved ones. The purpose of this meeting is to express love and concern for the person and their drug or alcohol abuse. It is important to remember that addiction is not a choice; it’s an illness that requires professional help for effective treatment. An intervention can get the ball rolling towards long-term recovery from drug or alcohol addiction. An intervention should be thoughtfully planned out while focusing on offering solutions instead of blame or guilt. Ultimately, the goal of an intervention is to create a safe space where those involved can openly discuss addiction without fear of judgement or criticism. Encouraging someone to reach out for professional addiction treatment is one of the most important things you can do as a loved one. Addiction treatment centers provide the best chance at getting your wife, husband, sister, brother, son, or daughter the long-term sobriety they need. Showing your love and support through this difficult time is critical in helping someone cope with an addiction and return to a healthier life. Should your loved one resist getting help from an alcohol or drug abuse treatment program, the best thing to do is show your love and support. They may be open to listening to the points you’re making, or they may be angry, upset, or feel blindsided. In the end, your loved one needs to be ready and willing to get help, or effective treatment is difficult. Treatment plans are usually not a success when an individual doesn’t believe
Dry January & Remaining Sober Beyond
For those who are unfamiliar, Dry January is a public health campaign that urges participants to abstain from alcohol for the entire month of January. The origins of Dry January stem back to as early as 1942 in Finland but has recently gained traction and attention in the United States and in the United Kingdom. For some, Dry January is part of one’s New Year’s Resolution to drink less, while others claim it’s a way to detox from the excessive drinking done over the holidays. Regardless of one’s reasoning behind remaining sober for the entire month of January, it is unarguable that many benefits are reaped through the process of participating in Dry January. Understanding and experiencing the benefits gained from engaging in Dry January, it is presumed that one can transition into a sober lifestyle with ease during the following months. Let’s first examine Four Key Benefits derived from abstaining from alcohol in Dry January (and beyond): 1. More Money: It goes without question that cutting back on your alcohol intake will save you some cash. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, Americans spend about $565 a year on alcohol… that’s $22,600 over a 40-year period! Avoiding alcohol for just one month will save you a significant amount of money that can be spent elsewhere. 2. No Hangovers: Probably the most obvious benefit of partaking in Dry January and maintaining sobriety afterwards is that giving up booze will spare yourself from those unwanted hangovers. Instead of being immobile and stationary in your bed Saturday & Sunday morning, you can actually seize and enjoy the day! 3. Healthier Skin: Piper, CEO for Alcohol Concern stated that people who partake in Dry January may already be experiencing clearer and less dry skin. Those who continue to maintain sobriety after just four weeks, will typically notice their skin becoming less and less puffy. “If you stop drinking and keep yourself hydrated, your skin will likely thank you for it,” Dr. Luke James, medical director for Health Clinics at Bupa UK stated. On top of clearer skin, those who avoid alcohol will usually experience weight loss! 4. Better Mood: After a drink, we may experience a sense of relief. Sometimes we may feel perky and other times a drink can simply relieve us of stress and anxiety. Over time though, alcohol consumption may become a main coping strategy. Ashley Jones, ARPN-CNP, a certified family nurse practitioner at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center says, “alcohol tends to make these symptoms (anxiety, depression, etc.) worse, so you may find that your mood is actually more stable when not consuming alcohol.” Simply put, when you are not under the influence, it is easier to recognize negative feelings. When these particular feelings are apparent, perhaps therapy, talking to a doctor or exercise could help relieve and suppress these emotions. Maintaining sobriety beyond Dry January may seem like a daunting task, but it is imperative to grasp the concept that long-term sobriety leads to bountiful health, financial and social benefits. When a clear understanding of the benefits to sobriety is gained through one partaking in Dry January, it is easier for that individual to continue the journey to full-time sobriety. If a struggle ensues to remain sober after the month of January, here are Four Tips to Maintain Sobriety: 1. Write Down all the reasons why you’d like to give up drinking and display it for yourself to see on a daily basis. A constant reminder of the negative consequences that arise when under the influence and positive consequences of sobriety, can help you avoid alcohol altogether. 2. Determine the Aspirations you wish to achieve now that you’re no longer spending time and energy drinking. Perhaps spending more time with family or rebuilding relationships? Achieving better physical health by going to the gym? Engaging in an enjoyable hobby early Saturday mornings?! Starting to learn the guitar you’ve always wanted to play?! The possibilities are endless. 3. Avoid Alcohol. Remove all of the alcohol from your home to deter you from falling victim to temptation. It’s a lot easier to maintain sobriety when alcohol isn’t in arm’s reach. Furthermore, until you feel you have a strong hold on triggers try to avoid situations where alcohol is present. It’s important when doing this you replace those situations with positive ones so as not to isolate yourself. You Might Be Interested In Celebrities in recovery Fun gifts for avoiding financial stress during the holidays Spring cleaning ideas for the soul 4. Find Support! You’d be surprised how many friends, loved ones, co-workers and even strangers can help be supportive when it comes to you trying to maintain sobriety. Perhaps, support could come from a family member refusing to drink around you. Other times, support comes in the form of a friend spending quality time with you without alcohol being present. Reach out for guidance, support and help. It may seem easier said than done but get in the habit of asking for support from the people you are closest with. They’ll usually understand and be happy to be of assistance. There are many resources available to help those struggling with alcohol dependency. If abstaining from alcohol is seemingly too difficult, please reach out for help. Author: Michael Kelly, Clinical Technician
7 Books to Read If You Want to Understand Addiction Better and Build a Better Life
One of the best ways you can help yourself—or someone else—amidst addiction is to read. Learning from others can help you know what works and what doesn’t. (That’s partly why support groups and an alumni community are so important in recovery!) While no two peoples’ recoveries are exactly the same, there’s no getting through addiction alone. There’s no roadmap for overcoming substance abuse, so learning from each other is crucial. And books are a great way to do that! Whether you are in search of answers to your questions about addiction, support and encouragement, or simply comfort, give these a try. 1. Chasing the Scream: The First and Last Days of the War on Drugs by Johann Hari Author Johann Hari explores the topic of addiction in a viral TED Talk titled “Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong.” (Watch it here.) Hari’s TED Talk came from his personal exploration and research, which went into his book Chasing the Scream: The First and Last Days of the War on Drugs. In this book, Hari looks for answers to the causes of addiction and treatments for it. He views addiction treatment through a broad, socio-political lens, examining how society treats addicts. Filled with anecdotal and research evidence, this is a thought-provoking read on how people view and treat those fighting alcohol addiction and drug use. Are You Trying to Quit Using Drugs or Alcohol? We offer an array of addiction treatment services & therapies 2. Clean: Overcoming Addiction and Ending America’s Greatest Tragedy by David Sheff If this author sounds familiar, it’s probably because you’ve heard of his other well-received book about addiction: Beautiful Boy: A Father’s Journey Through His Son’s Addiction. In Clean, Sheff digs into why people use drugs and alcohol to begin with. He explains how addiction progresses and details methods for getting and staying clean. In doing so, Sheff explores specific issues like: The result is a well-informed, comprehensive look at individualized and program interventions. Sheff walks the reader through the problem of addiction and the solutions. 3. Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change (A Guide for Families) by Jeffrey Foote, Carrie Wilkens, Nicole Kosanke, and Stephanie Higgs Families of those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction often have questions that are difficult to answer. The age-old question of how to support an addict without enabling them is especially tough. Learning from someone else’s expertise can help. Beyond Addiction answers the impossible-seeming questions about how to love someone with an addiction. This book contains material specific for the family (including a list of “Things You Can Change” and various worksheets), as well as information on what addiction is and what motivates people to change. There aren’t many books out there specifically for family members, making this an invaluable resource. 4. Recovery: Freedom from Our Addictions by Russell Brand There are many well-known autobiographical books about people’s own struggles with addiction. These books often provide a close look at what addiction is and what it’s like to live with it. Russell Brand’s book isn’t one of them. It focuses more on recovery. Recovery: Freedom from Our Addictions is the comedian/actor’s perspective of recovery as he walks the reader through his interpretation of the 12 steps. Brand’s book is especially useful as a tool in facilitating 12-step-group discussion. It conveys the important message that developing your own understanding and deep personalization of the 12 steps is key to making them work for you. 5. Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp This memoir is a deeply personal account of Knapp’s 20 years as a successful, Ivy-League-prepared, secretly alcoholic editor and columnist. Drinking: A Love Story shines a light on how pervasive addiction is, especially alcoholism, in places where people least expect it. If you struggle or know someone who struggles with high-functioning alcoholism, this is the book for you. Knapp also examines the unique experiences of being a woman and an addict. This is a great read for anyone struggling with alcoholism who may not realize the powerful, devastating effects something so normal and accepted in society can have. 6. A Very Fine House: A Mother\’s Story of Love, Faith, and Crystal Meth by Barbara Cofer Stoefen This is another great read for family members—especially parents—of someone facing addiction. In A Very Fine House, Cofer Stoefen chronicles her journey from idyllic Norman Rockwell family life to being the parent of an unlikely meth addict. This personal story takes a gut-wrenching look at the grief that goes along with a child’s substance abuse: grief for the person your child was, who you thought they’d become, and your own future as you envisioned it. It recounts the brave act of caring for yourself while caring for an addicted loved one. It ends with Cofer Stoefen’s daughter’s recovery, as well as the author’s, and what it took for them both to get there. 7. The Big Book and the Basic Text (AKA Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous) Although these books may seem obvious, they’re iconic for a reason. The Big Book and the Basic Text, titled by the names of their given fellowships, are must-reads for anyone who identifies as an alcoholic and/or addict. They’re also highly recommended for anyone close to or who works with someone who struggles with substance abuse. The insights found within The Big Book and the Basic Text are unlike any you’ll find in other books. If you attend an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA) meeting, you’re sure to hear excerpts that proved life-changing for someone in the grip of addiction. Many can attest to feeling these books were written just for them. Once you start reading about addiction and recovery, you have almost no choice but to understand it better. And when you understand something better, you’re in a much better position to change it, whether it’s for yourself or someone else. Don’t miss these seven great books about addiction!
7 Ways to Get Through the Holidays with a Chaotic Family
Imagine driving up to a beautifully lit, snow-kissed house for the holidays. You’re greeted at the door by a great big hug; watch younger family members play with their presents; and sing Christmas carols around the tree, sipping hot cocoa. Sounds idyllic, doesn’t it? While that description paints a lovely picture, it’s not always how the holidays go. Sometimes seeing family can be the biggest cause of stress. Maybe this is because you know—or think you know—how your family perceives your recovery. Or maybe it’s because of the many unknowns during the holiday season, all of which can heighten stress and anxiety: It can be overwhelming, to say the least. But there are steps you can take to reduce holiday family stress and stay strong in your recovery. 1. Make a Worry List Never heard of a worry list? It’s simple! Divide a piece of paper into two columns. In the left column, write a list of all the things you are worried about. In the right column, write a list of all the things you are not worried about. As you review the left side, look at each worry you listed and ask yourself, \”Do I have control over this?\” If the answer is no, cross it out because there is nothing that can be done with that worry. If the answer is yes, write something important next to it: the next step you can take to help reduce the worry. You will soon find your list of worries is not as long as you had imagined. Holiday anxiety—especially holiday family stress—is real, but some of it is out of your control and better to let go. Creating the visual of a worry list lets you break your anxiety response down into smaller, more manageable pieces. Use the right side of the page—the things you’re not worried about—for reflection as a gratitude list. Even the smallest details can be added to this side! For instance, this year I am not going to grandma\’s house in a Mrs. Claus outfit; therefore, I’m not worried about my attire for the occasion! Something like that seems small, but a little reminder of something you’re not worried about helps take some of the anxiety out of seeing family over the holidays. 2. Create a Plan for Yourself An anxiety response is a reaction you have, either physically or emotionally or both, to a situation causing anxiety. An anxiety response can look like: It is important to understand what causes your own anxiety response and what helps reduce it. For many people, there is less of an anxiety response when they can create a roadmap for themselves prior to a family gathering. This can allow you to prepare for what could occur during this uneasy time. Questions to ask and answer might be: Answering these questions can help set boundaries for what you want that day to look like and what would make you comfortable. This tip is especially important during the holidays, but it works for any social function when in recovery. Have a plan, know the safe places, and set a time limit before committing. Creating a plan in recovery helps keep your goals ahead of you and maintain sobriety in the face of stress and change in your routine. 3. Have Coping Skills in Your Back Pocket Holiday anxiety is real and valid. Especially in large family gatherings, there can be a lot going on at once. Stimulation overload! Sometimes you might even have family members that have insensitive comments related to your recovery or addiction. Have you had a family member offer you a drink? Or question your sobriety for being around people who are drinking? In those moments of frustration, try to use some coping skills to re-focus on your journey. You are here and sober; their insensitive comments do not have to change that. In these trying situations, it’s especially important to feel armed with coping skills—strategies to help you through. When in an environment with large groups and lots of noise, a coping skill that could help is deep breathing. Remove yourself from the loud environment by going outside or finding a quiet room; even a bathroom works well. Once you’re there, take time to do some deep breathing. You can count down from six with nice big inhales and exhales. Once you feel your heart rate slow down, you might feel more prepared to re-enter the chaotic environment. If you find yourself in a similar situation or being triggered, take a moment to yourself and go beyond deep breathing to meditation. Offer to take out the trash, say you need to get something out of your car, or go into a different room and do a quick meditation (The emergency one on the CALM app is a great option). Grounding techniques can also be helpful during this time. Even if you need to sit alone and practice gratitude, it can bring you back to a more centered place and a happier state of mind. 4. Stick with the Ones Who Build You Up You know those sweet little grandmothers who give you lots of hugs and kisses and tell you how much they love you? How about the ones who hate all the noise in their homes; the ones who hush all the children and spend the entire day stewing over how much they have to clean when everyone leaves? Everyone comes from different families, and each offers its own challenges, especially to someone in recovery. If you don’t feel comfortable sitting near a particular family member this holiday season, don’t sit next to them. Instead, sit next to another family member that you always feel comfortable around or someone who makes you laugh. Surrounding yourself with people who add joy during challenging times is a great way to cope with other people in your life who may not be as supportive of or sympathetic to your journey of recovery. This is your journey, and
Creative Gifts for Avoiding Financial Stress During The Holidays
It’s the most expensive … I mean the most wonderful time of the year. No, pretty sure I said it right the first time! Gifts for family, holiday gift exchange at work, and children/grandchildren/nieces/nephews asking for everything under the sun. Even if you do a grab-bag, that’s money coming out of your pocket that you may not have. While the holidays are supposed to be a joyous time, the chaos of the season, as well as the financial burden, can bring plenty of unwelcome stress. As many of us in the addiction treatment community are aware, high levels of stress can make the person who has always turned to alcohol or drugs for relief from uncomfortable emotions more likely to be unable to resist relapse. So, if money stress is bringing your holiday spirit down, read on for the 5-holiday gifts to give anyone in your life for under $25. For the Sentimental Sally Is there anything better than seeing someone open your gift, put their hand over their heart, and get all watery eyed? Print off pictures and purchase a photo album. Place one photograph on one page and write your recollection of the memory on the other page. Try to only fill the photo album halfway! Why only fill it halfway? To leave room for new memories! For the Frugal Friend Maybe you aren’t the only one on a budget. If you have someone that is in the same boat as you are financially, I’ve got a gift for the both of you! Buy a planner and fill it will all things free! Free days at museums, free concerts in the park, free popcorn days at nearby movie theaters. You can even schedule in a day together where you go all around your city and act like tourists together. Who says fun can’t be free?!? For the Book Bandit We all know that one person in our life that we talk to about a new movie we love and their response is, “It was good but, did you read the book?” Go into any Barnes and Noble and you are easily going to drop $30 on the newest hardcover books. Why spend that when you can give someone something that brought you enjoyment? Go through your bookshelf and pick out a book or two that you think the person would enjoy. On the inside cover, write an inscription to the person or a quote about sharing memories. You can even encourage that person to gift the book the following year. Then your joy can be passed on for years to come! For the Kitchen Crusader Any dish made is made better with love… and in my opinion, cheese! If you have someone who loves to cook in your life, give them the gift that keeps on giving. First, purchase a recipe book or box. Next, ask different friends or family to write down their favorite dish they love to make. Lastly, give the gift! Not only will you be giving the chef in your life something new but, if you are lucky, they’ll test out the recipes on you! Now that is the gift that keeps on giving! For the Partner, You Want to Pamper When it comes to your sweetheart, I don’t think there is a person out there that doesn’t want to spoil the love of their life rotten. Unfortunately, you may not be able to give them all that you want to give for Christmas… or can you. I gave this idea to a friend a long time ago when he and his wife were going through a tough time financially. I helped him make and print a coupon book to give to his wife. In it were coupons for a 15-minute massage, her favorite homecooked dinner, a day off from doing laundry, breakfast in bed, etc. It cost virtually nothing to make but, he said she absolutely loved the gift and redeemed her night off from doing dishes immediately! So, don’t stress out right now while we are in the holiday homestretch. Instead get creative, be inspired, find joy in the simplicity and remember, a gift from the heart is the best gift of all! If you\’re looking for more resources to help manage the holidays, The American Psychological Association has a Holiday Stress Resource Center – Click Here!
Contemplating Addiction Treatment? What to Consider & How to Prepare
Addiction is a complex but treatable disease that impacts an individual’s behavior and ability to function through everyday life. When it comes to addiction treatment, it is important to know what treatment options are readily available to the individual. In addition to being aware of the treatment options, it is important to understand that effective treatment is not a one-size fits all model. No single treatment is appropriate for everyone and therefore, finding a treatment program that is person-centered and matches well with the characteristics of individuals is the best route to take. Once the commitment has been made to enter into a substance use treatment program, there are a few things one can do in order to be fully prepared. It is common to feel overwhelmed and stressed about putting things on hold in order to focus solely on one’s recovery; however, it is also important to understand that these things can be dealt with by taking the time to prepare for treatment. Below are some tips on how best to prepare for treatment. First, be sure to understand what the various types of treatment options are and which options fit the individual’s needs at this stage in their recovery. Understanding what one wants out of treatment may help guide them to make a decision on which treatment program to attend based on their needs. Below are some things to consider: What level of care may be most appropriate: 1. Detoxification Services: an inpatient setting where individuals may receive medically supervised detoxification; length of stay is generally 3-5 days) 2. Residential Services: an inpatient setting where individuals may receive a wide array of services at the facility; length of stay can vary from 30-120+ days, usually determined by insurance and clinical support. 3. Partial Hospitalization Program: an outpatient setting where individuals attend treatment a minimum of five times a week for approximately six hours a day; length of stay is generally 30 days or as medically necessary. 4. Intensive Outpatient: an outpatient setting where individuals attend treatment anywhere from three to five days a week for three to five hours a day; length of stay can be one month or longer depending on medical necessity. 5. Outpatient: an outpatient setting where individuals attend treatment anywhere from one to two days a week for three to five hours; length of stay is generally 30 days or longer depending on medical necessity. What type of therapies are important: 1. Individual Therapy: one on one therapy with a licensed clinician. 2. Family Therapy: therapy that includes the involvement of the family or other support systems the patient would like to include. 3. Group Therapy: therapy conducted with two or more individuals present at a time, led by a licensed clinician. 4. Trauma Therapy: a specific therapeutic approach geared towards assisting the patient in recognizing and emphasizing an understanding of how traumatic experiences impact the patient mentally, behaviorally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. As trauma is often prevalent in addiction, this has proven to be especially helpful in treating addiction. 5. Psychiatric Services and Medication Management: services provided by a licensed professional geared towards assisting the patient in managing co-occurring disorders with the support of medications. 6. Medication Assisted Treatment: the use of medications in combination with counseling and behavioral therapies for the treatment of substance use disorders; includes medications such as Methadone, Suboxone, Vivitrol, etc. How else do I prepare: Tell Friends and Family Tell People at Work Prioritize Recovery Regardless of whether or not an individual’s friends and family are aware of their addiction, the people whom they love will more than likely be relieved to know that they are getting the help they need. It is important, to be honest, think about how to tell them and don’t doubt the decision to enter into treatment. The support of one’s family and friends can play a critical role in the success of that individual’s recovery, so being able to tell friends and family what is going on can allow those people to support an individual throughout the process. While being open and honest with family and friends is the best policy, telling people at work is up to the discretion of the individual. Depending on the individual’s work policies around extended leaves of absence, it may be required that the individual disclose the reason for the absence to their Human Resources department; however, individuals are not obligated to tell their co-workers or direct boss the reason for this leave. Addiction treatment is not a one size fits all, so it is important for each individual considering addiction treatment to identify what their needs are and, when seeking out programs, determine if that program can truly meet their needs. Last, but certainly not least, it is imperative that individual’s put their recovery first and foremost. Treatment is being sought because the extent of the substance use has become unmanageable. Entering into Addiction treatment is the time to put the focus on oneself. This is the time to hone in on the healing process, to rebuild one’s life skills and learn to function in life without the use of substances. Committing fully to that journey will allow individuals to experience the true value of treatment and long-term recovery. Remember, addiction is treatable! Don’t ever hesitate to advocate for yourself or a loved one who may be seeking treatment. Take a moment to look at the different options and make the choice that fits your needs or your loved one’s needs at that moment in time. Author: Bonnie Wright, MBA – Footprints to Recovery – Executive Director, Colorado
