7 Books to Read If You Want to Understand Addiction Better and Build a Better Life
One of the best ways you can help yourself—or someone else—amidst addiction is to read. Learning from others can help you know what works and what doesn’t. (That’s partly why support groups and an alumni community are so important in recovery!) While no two peoples’ recoveries are exactly the same, there’s no getting through addiction alone. There’s no roadmap for overcoming substance abuse, so learning from each other is crucial. And books are a great way to do that! Whether you are in search of answers to your questions about addiction, support and encouragement, or simply comfort, give these a try. 1. Chasing the Scream: The First and Last Days of the War on Drugs by Johann Hari Author Johann Hari explores the topic of addiction in a viral TED Talk titled “Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong.” (Watch it here.) Hari’s TED Talk came from his personal exploration and research, which went into his book Chasing the Scream: The First and Last Days of the War on Drugs. In this book, Hari looks for answers to the causes of addiction and treatments for it. He views addiction treatment through a broad, socio-political lens, examining how society treats addicts. Filled with anecdotal and research evidence, this is a thought-provoking read on how people view and treat those fighting alcohol addiction and drug use. Are You Trying to Quit Using Drugs or Alcohol? We offer an array of addiction treatment services & therapies 2. Clean: Overcoming Addiction and Ending America’s Greatest Tragedy by David Sheff If this author sounds familiar, it’s probably because you’ve heard of his other well-received book about addiction: Beautiful Boy: A Father’s Journey Through His Son’s Addiction. In Clean, Sheff digs into why people use drugs and alcohol to begin with. He explains how addiction progresses and details methods for getting and staying clean. In doing so, Sheff explores specific issues like: The result is a well-informed, comprehensive look at individualized and program interventions. Sheff walks the reader through the problem of addiction and the solutions. 3. Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change (A Guide for Families) by Jeffrey Foote, Carrie Wilkens, Nicole Kosanke, and Stephanie Higgs Families of those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction often have questions that are difficult to answer. The age-old question of how to support an addict without enabling them is especially tough. Learning from someone else’s expertise can help. Beyond Addiction answers the impossible-seeming questions about how to love someone with an addiction. This book contains material specific for the family (including a list of “Things You Can Change” and various worksheets), as well as information on what addiction is and what motivates people to change. There aren’t many books out there specifically for family members, making this an invaluable resource. 4. Recovery: Freedom from Our Addictions by Russell Brand There are many well-known autobiographical books about people’s own struggles with addiction. These books often provide a close look at what addiction is and what it’s like to live with it. Russell Brand’s book isn’t one of them. It focuses more on recovery. Recovery: Freedom from Our Addictions is the comedian/actor’s perspective of recovery as he walks the reader through his interpretation of the 12 steps. Brand’s book is especially useful as a tool in facilitating 12-step-group discussion. It conveys the important message that developing your own understanding and deep personalization of the 12 steps is key to making them work for you. 5. Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp This memoir is a deeply personal account of Knapp’s 20 years as a successful, Ivy-League-prepared, secretly alcoholic editor and columnist. Drinking: A Love Story shines a light on how pervasive addiction is, especially alcoholism, in places where people least expect it. If you struggle or know someone who struggles with high-functioning alcoholism, this is the book for you. Knapp also examines the unique experiences of being a woman and an addict. This is a great read for anyone struggling with alcoholism who may not realize the powerful, devastating effects something so normal and accepted in society can have. 6. A Very Fine House: A Mother\’s Story of Love, Faith, and Crystal Meth by Barbara Cofer Stoefen This is another great read for family members—especially parents—of someone facing addiction. In A Very Fine House, Cofer Stoefen chronicles her journey from idyllic Norman Rockwell family life to being the parent of an unlikely meth addict. This personal story takes a gut-wrenching look at the grief that goes along with a child’s substance abuse: grief for the person your child was, who you thought they’d become, and your own future as you envisioned it. It recounts the brave act of caring for yourself while caring for an addicted loved one. It ends with Cofer Stoefen’s daughter’s recovery, as well as the author’s, and what it took for them both to get there. 7. The Big Book and the Basic Text (AKA Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous) Although these books may seem obvious, they’re iconic for a reason. The Big Book and the Basic Text, titled by the names of their given fellowships, are must-reads for anyone who identifies as an alcoholic and/or addict. They’re also highly recommended for anyone close to or who works with someone who struggles with substance abuse. The insights found within The Big Book and the Basic Text are unlike any you’ll find in other books. If you attend an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA) meeting, you’re sure to hear excerpts that proved life-changing for someone in the grip of addiction. Many can attest to feeling these books were written just for them. Once you start reading about addiction and recovery, you have almost no choice but to understand it better. And when you understand something better, you’re in a much better position to change it, whether it’s for yourself or someone else. Don’t miss these seven great books about addiction!
What is Person-First Language?
Person-first language is a way of communicating that respects individuals with issues such as drug and alcohol misuse, mental health disorders, or disabilities. The goal of using person-first language is to recognize the person first rather than their disorder by avoiding terms that can be deemed derogatory. Words can hold a lot of meaning, and simply changing the way we use certain phrases, even when they mean the exact same thing, can make a difference in how people perceive it. For example, if you are addressing an individual with drug addiction, rather than using the term “junkie,” a better alternative you can use is “person with a substance use disorder.” Not only are words like “junkie” and “addict” demeaning to the person, but it also makes it seem like the condition is permanently affecting this individual and that he or she cannot change. We all know that if someone really wants to become substance-free, they will work hard to accomplish that goal. This is something that a person can undoubtedly change about themselves. Individuals that are Seeking Addiction Treatment Also, if an individual is currently receiving treatment for his or her substance misuse, it’s best to refer to that individual as a “patient.” It lets that person know that they are working on becoming substance-free, whereas the demeaning terms are doing nothing other than reminding that person that they have an addiction. Using person-first language is also how you can show respect and let an individual know that you see them for who they are as a person, not their condition. We live in a world where labels can make or break a person. Diagnoses are no different. Fortunately, most physical healthcare providers don’t allow diagnoses to define their patients. They see a diagnosis as a small piece of the individual who is learning to survive, despite a medical battle. Unfortunately, we allow addiction to define approximately 21.5 million Americans each day. Society views those diagnosed with cancer, diabetes, asthma, and other medical conditions as unfortunate victims of a disease that requires treatment, support, and assistance. Why is Person-First Language Important? A person’s mental health disorder or disability does not define who they are, so why would we want to address someone in that way? This is one of the many reasons why it’s important to start using person-centered language, especially in a therapy or rehabilitation setting. There is more to someone than his or her mental health disorder, and using person-first language allows you to put the individual first rather than his or her disorder. A person could have many wonderful skills and talents, but addressing him or her as an addict or junkie makes that negative attribute the center of attention rather than their positive ones. It makes a person feel bad knowing that they have a lot to offer but are only seen as a negative part of society. We live in a world where people are constantly getting labeled. Sometimes those labels are good, but other times they can be quite bad. Labeling individuals has a powerful effect because it’s the first impression you get of that person. Nobody ever likes making a terrible first impression, and the way you address someone can either make them look like a bad person or a wonderful person. How to Address an Alcoholic For example, when people think of an alcoholic, the worst things come to mind automatically, and nobody wants anything to do with that alcoholic because they know how dangerous they can become. If you wanted to use person-first language, you would address that person as “someone experiencing an alcohol problem.” Yes, it means the same thing, but the term “alcoholic” has more of a negative connotation to it. When you see someone as a person who is experiencing an alcohol problem, you begin to empathize with them. You don’t see them as a danger to society, but rather as someone who has a problem and needs help. That is why words matter and why using person-first language is important. Conversely, those who abuse illicit substances are at times viewed as offenders, moral failures, and agents of their illness. The medical community utilizes scientifically proven medications and lifesaving treatments to stabilize and manage those with chronic physical health conditions. On the other hand, the idea of medication to treat addiction, or Medication Assisted Treatment (MAT), is oftentimes viewed by society as a crutch or replacing one addiction for another. Medications for other chronic physical health conditions are not referred to as MAT, although they are used to manage physical conditions along with healthy lifestyle changes and behavioral modification the same way MAT is utilized in addiction treatment. Medications to treat substance use disorders such as Buprenorphine, Naltrexone, and Methadone Maintenance should not require a different label. How Using Person-First Language Can Make a Difference Using person-first language may seem like a small thing, but it can make a huge difference in how a person sees themselves. Especially in an addiction therapy setting, putting the person before their addiction is key to helping them recover. It shows that you care about them as a person and that you want them to get better. It lets the person receiving treatment know that they are not their addiction. They are a person who happens to have a substance misuse disorder that they are working on fixing. This individual needs to believe that they matter. Stigma and discrimination, simply stated, are the reasons for the behavioral health disparity. The solution, although a bit more complex, begins with simple changes. To reduce the stigma of substance use disorders, we must support the implementation of clinical language that promotes improved treatment and access to care. To improve care, we must use medically accurate, person-first language that focuses on the individual and not the disorder. We must begin to describe those with the disease of addiction as individuals with substance use disorders. To change treatment outcomes, we must alter the language of treatment.
Contemplating Addiction Treatment? What to Consider & How to Prepare
Addiction is a complex but treatable disease that impacts an individual’s behavior and ability to function through everyday life. When it comes to addiction treatment, it is important to know what treatment options are readily available to the individual. In addition to being aware of the treatment options, it is important to understand that effective treatment is not a one-size fits all model. No single treatment is appropriate for everyone and therefore, finding a treatment program that is person-centered and matches well with the characteristics of individuals is the best route to take. Once the commitment has been made to enter into a substance use treatment program, there are a few things one can do in order to be fully prepared. It is common to feel overwhelmed and stressed about putting things on hold in order to focus solely on one’s recovery; however, it is also important to understand that these things can be dealt with by taking the time to prepare for treatment. Below are some tips on how best to prepare for treatment. First, be sure to understand what the various types of treatment options are and which options fit the individual’s needs at this stage in their recovery. Understanding what one wants out of treatment may help guide them to make a decision on which treatment program to attend based on their needs. Below are some things to consider: What level of care may be most appropriate: 1. Detoxification Services: an inpatient setting where individuals may receive medically supervised detoxification; length of stay is generally 3-5 days) 2. Residential Services: an inpatient setting where individuals may receive a wide array of services at the facility; length of stay can vary from 30-120+ days, usually determined by insurance and clinical support. 3. Partial Hospitalization Program: an outpatient setting where individuals attend treatment a minimum of five times a week for approximately six hours a day; length of stay is generally 30 days or as medically necessary. 4. Intensive Outpatient: an outpatient setting where individuals attend treatment anywhere from three to five days a week for three to five hours a day; length of stay can be one month or longer depending on medical necessity. 5. Outpatient: an outpatient setting where individuals attend treatment anywhere from one to two days a week for three to five hours; length of stay is generally 30 days or longer depending on medical necessity. What type of therapies are important: 1. Individual Therapy: one on one therapy with a licensed clinician. 2. Family Therapy: therapy that includes the involvement of the family or other support systems the patient would like to include. 3. Group Therapy: therapy conducted with two or more individuals present at a time, led by a licensed clinician. 4. Trauma Therapy: a specific therapeutic approach geared towards assisting the patient in recognizing and emphasizing an understanding of how traumatic experiences impact the patient mentally, behaviorally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. As trauma is often prevalent in addiction, this has proven to be especially helpful in treating addiction. 5. Psychiatric Services and Medication Management: services provided by a licensed professional geared towards assisting the patient in managing co-occurring disorders with the support of medications. 6. Medication Assisted Treatment: the use of medications in combination with counseling and behavioral therapies for the treatment of substance use disorders; includes medications such as Methadone, Suboxone, Vivitrol, etc. How else do I prepare: Tell Friends and Family Tell People at Work Prioritize Recovery Regardless of whether or not an individual’s friends and family are aware of their addiction, the people whom they love will more than likely be relieved to know that they are getting the help they need. It is important, to be honest, think about how to tell them and don’t doubt the decision to enter into treatment. The support of one’s family and friends can play a critical role in the success of that individual’s recovery, so being able to tell friends and family what is going on can allow those people to support an individual throughout the process. While being open and honest with family and friends is the best policy, telling people at work is up to the discretion of the individual. Depending on the individual’s work policies around extended leaves of absence, it may be required that the individual disclose the reason for the absence to their Human Resources department; however, individuals are not obligated to tell their co-workers or direct boss the reason for this leave. Addiction treatment is not a one size fits all, so it is important for each individual considering addiction treatment to identify what their needs are and, when seeking out programs, determine if that program can truly meet their needs. Last, but certainly not least, it is imperative that individual’s put their recovery first and foremost. Treatment is being sought because the extent of the substance use has become unmanageable. Entering into Addiction treatment is the time to put the focus on oneself. This is the time to hone in on the healing process, to rebuild one’s life skills and learn to function in life without the use of substances. Committing fully to that journey will allow individuals to experience the true value of treatment and long-term recovery. Remember, addiction is treatable! Don’t ever hesitate to advocate for yourself or a loved one who may be seeking treatment. Take a moment to look at the different options and make the choice that fits your needs or your loved one’s needs at that moment in time. Author: Bonnie Wright, MBA – Footprints to Recovery – Executive Director, Colorado
5 Movies That Paint a Real Picture of What Addiction Looks Like
Movies can make us feel a range of emotions. Sometimes we watch them to de-stress, disconnect, and escape our current surroundings. Other times, movies can be a window into our souls and depict on the screen that which we are dealing with in our current lives. When it comes to addiction, Hollywood tends to dramatize what it can look like but, these five movies paint a more realistic picture. 28 days If you want a realistic portrait of life in treatment, you must see 28 days. It tells the story of Gwen, a New York city journalist who loves to be the “life of the party”. When her partying ways become a problem, she is court ordered to check into rehab for 28 days. With lots of laughs, lots of tears, and some “ah ha” moments, you get to know the characters in this movie and their struggles with staying sober. Gwen goes from all-out denial to complete acceptance and learns to, “accept the things she can not change, the courage to change the things that she can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” When A Man Loves A Woman Examining addiction and the family dynamic, this is the movie that breaks it down from all points of view before and after treatment. Those who have been through it know, addiction doesn’t just affect the using individual, it affects the entire family. Alice is an alcoholic and her family begins to see that her drinking has gone from functioning to frightening. She enters treatment as one person and leaves it an entirely different person, a person, that her husband no longer knows or understands and, they begin to see each other as strangers. The movie begs you to ask the question, “what are life and relationships like when going from active use to living in recovery?” Requiem for a Dream When I saw this movie, I knew two things at the end of it. First, this movie is brilliantly portraited and the second, I never wanted to see it again. If this movie would have come out in the 80’s when the “just say no to drugs” campaign was being pushed, one showing of this movie would have surely scared you straight. In it, you are introduced to Sara, a woman whose obsession with fitting into her favorite dress to appear on a game show leads her to seek out a sketchy amphetamine pushing doctor. Sara’s son, Harry, and friends, Marion and Tyrone, have big dreams to open a clothing boutique but, they can never seem to escape their brain\’s obsession in finding their next heroin fix. You notice the parallel between mother and son in their active addiction that leads them into the most disturbing of circumstances. A raw and dark fall down the rabbit hole is the best way to describe what it’s like to see Requiem for a Dream. A Star is Born Over the years, we’ve seen a huge correlation between musicians and substance abuse. There are those that have said they think that it’s necessary to be under the influence to get the creative juices flowing. A Star is Born shows you that way of thinking couldn’t be further from the truth. We see Jackson, a star musician and all-out alcoholic, meet and quickly fall in love with Ally, an aspiring singer who dreams of making it big. Ally’s career begins to take off just as Jackson’s alcohol addiction sends his life spiraling tragically out of control. An important movie to see to tarnish the glamour that can be paired with fame and alcohol and drug use. You will walk away from this film feeling infected by the music and the message. Beautiful Boy Of all the movies I have seen on addiction, the word REAL is the best way to describe this film. Perhaps that is because this movie is based on a true story. A son, Nick, who seems to have it all; the looks, the grades, and the loving family until he is sucked into a world of substance abuse by way of crystal meth. Even after numerous relapses, his father is willing to do anything to help his son find his way out of his world of addiction. The push and pull dynamic you see between the two, the battle of trust lost, the longing to once again have a “normal” relationship, and the complete sense of desperation is so relatable from the viewpoint of the addict and the loved one. From complete frustration to heartwarming moments, this movie will take you on an emotional roller coaster. While movies about addiction may be difficult to watch, they do not compare to what it is like to go through it in real life. If you or a loved one are struggling, help is only a phone call away. We all deserve to live happily ever after!
Coming Clean About Your Addiction
Admitting you have a problem with drugs or alcohol is one of the hardest things to do. It means admitting that you have made mistakes and that you’re aware of it. It may mean losing friends, jobs, housing and starting life over. Furthermore, talking about your addiction now means you are expected to do something about it. Loved ones will be looking to you to get into treatment and to begin to live a completely sober life. With change comes responsibility, expectations, and vulnerability. Also, it can be hard to admit that we need help, regardless of the circumstances or struggles. Addiction can be an isolating disease which makes reaching out difficult and scary. The feeling of being alone and misunderstood can be overwhelming and often times does prevent individuals from asking for help. The U.S has recently woken up to the seriousness of alcohol and drug addiction and started recognizing addiction as a disease. Until the stigma associated with an alcohol and drug addiction is erased, being open and vocal may prove to be emotionally trying for some. It’s not enough that we must deal with our own demons, we must also deal with a society that at times make us feel like demons. It may seem as though there are many reasons to avoid coming clean to loved ones, friends, or family about an alcohol or drug addiction. However, there are so many MORE reasons to have the conversation. Coming clean about your addiction means you can finally begin working on any physical and/or mental health needs you may have neglected. If you’re coming clean to loved ones, family or friends you can begin to talk about what’s been going on in your life, reduce your isolation and receive perhaps the much-needed support you’ve been searching for. Furthermore, your sober and safe support systems can assist you in finding and securing treatment where you can learn healthy ways to cope and manage emotions. Many report that coming clean about their addictions and getting treatment allowed them to repair broken relationships, advance their careers and improve their well-being. Overall, you can finally start to live the life that you so deserve to live. When you are ready to talk to your family, friends, loved ones, or others the following tips may help you navigate the discussion: Just Say It: Unless you’re living far away from your family, friends or loved ones it’s likely your addiction will come as no surprise. Even if they’ve reached out to help you before, it’s important to again state that you have a problem. Be Honest: If you don’t know where to start, start with the truth. This is not to say that you need to get into every detail of your alcohol or drug use but being honest about your relapse warning signs, triggers and relapse prevention plan can help loved ones hold you accountable. Additionally, admitting to the severity of the addiction will help your loved ones to understand how to better help and support you. Take Accountability: Part of being honest is owning up to mistakes and taking responsibility for the decisions you have made that led you here today. One of the most important things to do to convince your loved ones your serious, is to admit your mistakes without placing blame on others. Give Loved One’s Space: Loved ones may need some time to let the information sink in and figure out what this news means for them. It is important not to rush loved ones at this time, just as you wouldn’t want them to rush you. Let them work through this at their own pace. Discuss Plans: Share your treatment plans with your loved ones throughout your recovery. Including loved ones in your treatment can help you stay strong if you feel like giving up. Sharing plans also helps your loved ones hold you accountable if you start straying from your goals. If you’re unsure of where to start with getting help, share that with them too. Encourage Your Family to Get Help and Support Too: It is important for your loved ones to find a good support system that they can turn to when they need to. What better time to encourage them to seek help as well! Keep in mind there is a good chance your loved ones are aware that something is amiss. They may not know exactly what you are struggling with or the severity, but chances are your struggles have not gone unnoticed. They may be afraid to broach the subject, or they may not feel comfortable asking you about their concerns. In fact, those close to you may be waiting for you to come to them. It’s worth stating that before coming clean to your loved ones about your addiction, you must first come clean to yourself. When you can accept you have an addiction and are willing to get help, you are now one step closer to a better life of your own. Your better life can include improved overall health, healthier habits and repaired relationships. You can exercise, eat healthy food and be part of society again. The people in your world can begin to rely on you to keep your commitments, and you can begin to feel more confident about yourself. Not only will you be a better person, but you will also feel better about yourself, and your self-esteem will start to improve. Taking that first step can be daunting, but it’s so worth it. Author: Beth Grady, LAC – Footprints to Recovery – Intake Clinician Arizona
10 Questions to Ask Yourself to Gauge Your Own Well-Being
Well-being is defined as “the state of being comfortable, healthy, or happy.” In today’s world, the phrase “I’m fine”, is the most overused statement when anyone asks you how you are. It’s an easy answer and, for the most part, gets people off of your back. The problem with that is we have become programmed to give that response when in fact we really aren’t fine at times. At that point, it is imperative to take inventory of our own lives and ask ourselves these 10 questions to asses how we feel and what really is the state of our well being. How am I sleeping? We all have those nights. You are exhausted, you lay your head down with the expectation of falling asleep immediately. However, the moment you close your eyes, your mind begins to race. It gets so hard to turn down the volume in our own heads and, we begin to look at the clock and say, “ok, if I fall asleep in the next 30 minutes, I will get 5 hours and, I can function on that.” Getting adequate sleep is not only important for your physical health and daily functioning but, if you are lacking in the sleep department, it is a clear indicator that there is a bigger issue that you may need to tackle in life. How is my hygiene? Raise your hand if you have ever been going through a difficult time and spent the entire weekend in the same pajamas, unshowered, laying on the couch watching movies. I’m sure if we were sitting in a room, there would be quite a few hands up in the air. A lazy weekend isn’t always a bad thing but, when that begins to carry on, day in day out, that becomes a problem. Your physical appearance is an outward representation of how you view yourself. Walking around unkept is the same as wearing a sign around your neck that says “IDGAF!” If that is the case, it’s time to start asking yourself, “why?” On average, how is my mood? My therapist (yes, I see a therapist and, I’m proud of it), once gave me homework to write down my mood at the end of each day for one week. At our next meeting, I realized that 5 out of those seven days, I was in a bad mood. Having that undisputable evidence in front of my face forced me to take a look at what was going on in my life and, why I was allowing it to affect me so much. It allowed me to turn that frown upside-down. What is the state of my living space? The space around you is always a clear indicator of how your life is going. For me personally, if there are dishes in the sink and an overflowing laundry basket, it is a sign that I am stressed. Coming home each day to a clean and organized environment can instantly lift your mood. Your home becomes your happy place and your sanctuary. If you are dreading going home because your place is starting to resemble a pig pen, ask yourself why you are allowing yourself to live that way. When is the last time I laughed? There is a saying, “The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” Could there be a more true statement? I personally live for the days that I laugh so hard my stomach feels like I did a million sit-ups. Days like that become timeless memories. If you can’t remember the last time you laughed, you need to start examining where is the happy in your life? When is the last time I spent time with people I love? Life is busy and some days you need some peace and quiet but, there is a thing as too much quiet time. When you would rather isolate than spend time with people you love that will tell you one of two things; you are trying to hide something from your loved ones or perhaps, they aren’t the right people to have in your life. If it is the latter, there are approximately 7.3 billion people in this world that you can get to know and enjoy your life with. If it’s the former, it’s time to let your loved ones know what is going on. Remember, they love you for a reason! How is my diet? I’ve said it before and, I’ll say it again. CHEESE IS LIFE! I love cheese and could have it as a part of every meal. It’s perfection on a pizza, on a burger, and loaded on fries and nachos. I may want to have cheese all the time but, my body might disagree with me. Aside from the physical aspects, numerous studies have shown that eating poorly can increase depression and anxiety. It may also be an indicator that you are using food as a comfort in your life instead of dealing with the underlying issue. Plain and simple, what you’re eating affects how you’re feeling. Am I engaging in behaviors that make me feel bad about myself? This one is a big one for those of us in recovery. While in treatment, I’m sure everyone told you to stay away from people, places, and things that fueled your addiction. Doing that got you to a low point that made you want to break your cycle and start living a better life, free of drugs and alcohol. If you find yourself back in your old cycle and you don’t like who you are becoming, it’s time to make a change. How are my finances? Money can be a giant stress for anyone but, the way you handle your money says a lot about your well-being. Mishandling your money is one of the number one signs that your life is out of balance. I used to hate paying bills and now, I love it. The reason I love it is because I know
Embracing Our Dark Sides: Self-Acceptance of Our Best & Worst Selves
The first step to self-acceptance is accepting that you can’t accept yourself at this moment. Sounds simple, right? The words are easy to say, but the reality of self-acceptance is not a comfortable journey. Some days we can accept who we are. And some days we just can’t. The truth of who you are and the fantasy of who you want to be can keep you from accepting yourself. Self-Esteem vs. Self-Acceptance Self-esteem refers to how valuable we see ourselves, self-acceptance is a deeper level of accepting yourself. We base our self-esteem on our accomplishments and achievements. People easily confuse self-esteem and self-acceptance. They are both essential ingredients of emotional health. Self-esteem can be shattered when things do not go to plan, losing a job, or not getting into the college of your choice. When our self-esteem is damaged, it can be challenging to recover. True self-acceptance is embracing ALL parts of yourself–not just your positive traits but your negative traits as well. Self-acceptance is unconditional. You are aware of your limits and weaknesses without allowing them to interfere with accepting yourself. Self-esteem increases, the more we accept and love ourselves. Loving ourselves comes from self-acceptance. And we can only love ourselves by not judging ourselves. Only speak positively about yourself. Self-acceptance is a journey; you can not just will it to happen. Those with addiction and mental health disorders suffer from both low self-esteem and low self-acceptance. Each day in recovery can bring you closer to accepting your whole self. What Determines Our Self-Acceptance? Similar to self-esteem, as children, our self-acceptance is based on our parent’s acceptance of us. Parents who are encouraging and give positive feedback, cultivate self-acceptance in their children. Children misbehave, but that does not make them bad children. A parent who continually tells their children how bad they are will cultivate negative self-images. Self-acceptance is not only based on accepting behaviors. For example, if you were told you were selfish, not pretty enough, or not kind enough, it can damage the ability to accept yourself. Because we have all experienced some form of emotional abuse, we view ourselves as conditionally acceptable. We are extremely hard on ourselves. Self-criticism amplifies our problems as adults. Speaking negatively about ourselves and internalizing the rejection from parents and the outside world can lead to substance use disorders. It is easy to berate, blame, and physically abuse ourselves if that is the environment you grew up around. 3 Ways To Become More Self-Accepting Three ways to become more self-accepting are: Accepting ourselves without conditions is easy when we are raised in a supportive and encouraging environment. If that was not the case for you, then it is up to you to build your self-worth. Build yourself up, talk positively to yourself. Stop judging yourself. Keep in mind some small goals for you to reach when you reach those goals, set bigger goals. You are important, and you must keep that in mind when you are feeling down. Re-evaluate the people you surround yourself with and create a positive support group who believes in you. Robert Holden’s book, Happiness Now, states, “Happiness and self-acceptance go hand in hand.” Self-acceptance determines your level of happiness. The more self-acceptance you have, the happier you allow yourself to be. You will only be as happy as you feel you are worthy of being. And each person is worthy of the greatest of happiness. Letting go of guilt is essential in becoming more self-accepting. Your past has gotten you where you are today. It’s provided you with both vulnerabilities and strengths. Your past has the potential to become an important part of your life. And an even more significant part of your life when you embrace it. After you contemplate the events, relationships, and feelings of the past, you will gain insight as to who you are and who you are. Let go of the extravagant and unattainable ideas of how your recovery should go. Forgive yourself for past wrongdoings, hardships, or mistakes. Self-acceptance is a difficult process, and you must remember to be patient with yourself. Becoming more self-accepting requires that we begin to understand that we’re not what we have been told, whether it’s our looks, intellect, or any questionable behavior. Our actions have all been coerced by some combination of background and biology. Going forward, we absolutely can take responsibility for ways we’ve hurt or wronged others. But if we are to work on becoming more self-accepting productively, we must do so with compassion and forgiveness in our hearts. We need to realize that, up to this point, we could not have behaved differently. 5 Stages of Improving Self-Acceptance Psychologist Christopher Germer explains in his book The Mindful Path To Self-Compassion that self-acceptance development occurs in five stages. Stage 1: Aversion It is human instinct to respond to uncomfortable feelings with avoidance, resistance, or rumination ( continued thinking of a problem to fix it). We all have avoidance behaviors, drinking, overeating, or working too much. We may not even be aware of what we are feeling, but the uncomfortable feelings can lead to avoidance behaviors. The path to self-acceptance is not to avoid feelings. Be mindful of feelings. Process the feelings, and do not push them away. Stage 2: Curiosity When you face your feelings and aversion no longer works, curiosity takes over. You want to learn more about why you feel the way you do. Curiosity can cause some anxiety, but nonetheless, it is an essential step in self-acceptance. Question the feeling. What are you feeling? What led to this feeling? How can I overcome this feeling? Being curious about every aspect of your feelings is vital to building a strong sense of well-being and self-acceptance. Stage 3: Tolerance Tolerance is enduring the pain, but wishing it would go away. You may resist the pain and even fake being happy. It is not a comfortable journey to confront the pain and heal it and not just tolerate it. Old habits
Learn to Love Yourself in Recovery
Low self-worth can go hand-in-hand with addiction. Self-esteem issues may have contributed to substance abuse, and the guilt and shame of addiction can perpetuate it. Mending the emotional wounds of drug and alcohol abuse takes time. Learning to love yourself is part of that. It’s about getting to know yourself and the person that was buried by drugs and alcohol and learning to like and accept that person. When you’re constantly focused on your perceived flaws, past mistakes, and a laundry list of items for self-improvement that’s a difficult charge. Learning to love yourself in addiction recovery and accept your authentic self is often easier said than done. So much of your identity was wrapped up in your addiction. Now that you have found freedom from drugs and alcohol, you’re left with facing all the different parts of yourself — even the ones you perceive as “flawed” or “bad.” Finding self-love is one of the most rewarding and life-changing things you can do; but it doesn’t come without challenges. There are small steps you can take to learn to love yourself in recovery. You can come to terms with who you once were and who you have come to be now. Here are a few ways to begin to learn to love yourself: #1 Forgive Yourself Forgiveness is so important in recovery. People who’ve struggled with addiction often find it hard to forgive themselves for their behaviors around drugs and alcohol. You cannot change your past; you can only learn from it. Be kind and gentle with yourself. When you focus on the past, you rob yourself of who you’ve chosen to be today. Your past can only define you if you let it. Taking responsibility for your mistakes is one thing but continuing to beat yourself up over them will only impede your ability to move forward. Accept yourself as is. Allow yourself to be flawed and full of imperfections, because the truth is, we all are. Celebrate victories of growth, and practice not beating yourself up over small mistakes. You are your own worst critic. To learn to love yourself and find peace, you need to accept that perfection is unattainable for anyone. Remember, even the people you admire make mistakes. Be kind to yourself and allow room to be human. #2 Practice Gratitude It’s easy to make a list of everything you want to change to be happy. Instead, make a list of everything you love about yourself and your life. Research shows that practicing gratitude can: Set a timer for five minutes. Write down as many things you are grateful for in that time as you can. Include the little things. Next, list the attributes about yourself that are positive and unique to you. Forcing yourself to list the best parts of you will help you realize you’re a better person than you gave yourself credit for. Try setting aside time to express gratitude every single day. For example, list five things in a gratitude journal every evening that you’re grateful for. Everyone has a light inside themselves that can be clouded by negative self-image, especially if you’ve struggled with drug and alcohol addiction. It just takes a little practice to shine light on all the good in yourself and learn to love yourself. #3 Set Boundaries Boundaries are something many people struggle with. Maybe you think if you say no to someone, that makes you selfish. In reality, setting boundaries and saying no to things or people that can put your recovery in jeopardy and harm you physically, emotionally, or spiritually are the greatest forms of self-love. You are choosing to put your happiness first. You are choosing to let others know that you value yourself and your happiness is just as important as theirs. You are choosing to not participate in things out of your comfort zone that could impact your sobriety. If you’ve been in any form of addiction treatment, you probably learned how critical boundaries can be in preventing relapse. #4 Surround Yourself With Supportive People Anyone that makes you feel bad about yourself does not deserve to be in your life. Having toxic people around can destroy your self-worth. Make sure the people in your life are positive and give you encouragement, especially when it comes to recovery. In doing so, you are telling yourself, “I am a great person and I deserve to feel love every day.” Work on your relationship with yourself as well. Make sure that voice in your head is one that’s supportive and loving. #5 Celebrate Your Wins Would you only celebrate your 30th birthday? What about your 26th, 27th, 28th, or 29th? Those are all important! It’s the same in recovery. Your second day is just as important as your second year. No victory is too small. Everything that you work for to make happen is a victory and should make you feel great about who you are and what you have accomplished. Celebrate yourself and all that you’ve worked so hard for every chance you get. Treat yourself, do things you enjoy, and share about your accomplishments with people who appreciate you. #6 Give Back The act of giving opens up a treasure chest of love and positive emotions that will help you learn to love yourself in a fresh and vibrant way. Volunteer with disadvantaged youth at a local community center or start small by performing small acts of kindness for people at home or work. The love in your heart for others will begin to multiply, leaving almost no room to dislike yourself. #7 Make Self-Care a Priority Self-care is an open doorway to our own self-love and acceptance in the human experience. When you learn to love yourself, you take care of yourself. Everything that we consume affects our emotions and energy levels. Exercise and movement can boost your mood and self-confidence. Focusing on yourself and ways you can stay physically and mentally healthy is key to self-love as well
7 Common Myths About Addiction
There are a lot of myths about addiction. Some of these misbeliefs keep people from getting the help they need; others widen the rift between addicted people and loved ones. Still others perpetuate stigmas around addiction. Myths people believe about addiction sometimes include: #1 Quitting Drugs Is a Matter of Willpower Simply put, addiction hijacks the brain. Once you’re in active addiction, “just stopping” drugs or alcohol without treatment and drastic lifestyle changes is extremely difficult. Repeated substance abuse makes your brain think that having drugs and alcohol in your system is the new ‘normal.’ The brain and central nervous system start needing drugs or alcohol to function and produce the correct balances of chemicals. Substance abuse rewires the brain so that it sends similar messages to you about drugs and alcohol that it does food, water, connection with others, and other survival instincts. It can feel nearly impossible to resist triggers when you’re getting such strong signals to use substances. Obtaining and using drugs begins to take priority over everything else when you’ve become dependent on drugs and alcohol. #2 Addicts Must Hit Rock Bottom This common myth about addiction can be deadly. If you or a loved one waits to hit rock bottom to get help, it could be too late. It’s true that you cannot force people into treatment or do the work for them, but if they’re showing warning signs of addiction, getting help sooner rather than later can be a life-or-death situation. You don’t need to hit rock bottom to overdose, cause irreversible physical and mental health damage, or put yourself or others in danger. #3 Alcohol Addiction Is Better Than Drug Addiction Because alcohol is legal, some people view alcohol addiction as less serious than drug addiction. This is simply not true. Alcohol is one of the leading causes of preventable deaths in the United States. Alcohol contributes to several chronic conditions like: Binge drinking is also risky, accounting for almost 50% of deaths from excessive alcohol use. Furthermore, alcohol is responsible for impaired driving deaths. At least one American dies every 52 minutes from drunk driving. Alcohol withdrawal is one of the most dangerous withdrawals from substances. Alcohol withdrawal symptoms can include: The fact is that any type of substance of abuse can be dangerous. #4 Substance Abuse Isn’t Serious if You’re “Functioning” You may think if you’re able to hold a job, go to school, or manage family responsibilities, you don’t have a serious problem. However, you can be struggling with addiction while living a rather ‘normal’ or productive life. You will remain ‘functioning’ until you cannot function anymore. It’s not uncommon for core parts of your life to begin falling apart as drug or alcohol dependence and tolerance worsens. Furthermore, a functioning alcoholic or drug addicted individual is still at risk for the multitude of health problems linked to substance abuse. #5 Relapse Means You’ll Never Get Better Relapse can be frustrating and discouraging, but it’s not a failure. Addiction is a chronic disease with similar relapse rates as other chronic conditions like high blood pressure and diabetes. It’s not uncommon to relapse at least once on your recovery journey. Relapses are opportunities to learn more about yourself, your triggers, and what is critical to maintaining sobriety. Many people come out of relapses stronger and more dedicated to their recovery. #6 Drug Rehab Is a “Cure” An addiction treatment program is a necessary part of recovery for many people, but it’s not a magic pill. People enter substance abuse treatment at varying stages of readiness to change. For some, an addiction recovery program is indeed the turning point they need to take back their life. They get sober, make lifestyle changes, and put recovery skills into practice that help them refrain from drugs and alcohol indefinitely. Others might need to participate in an addiction treatment program several times throughout their recovery journey. Either way, recovery is lifelong. It’s something you must always be aware of, work on, and nurture. Whether you’re in active addiction or haven’t had a drink or drug in decades, you’re never “cured” of addiction. Relapse is always a risk, but that risk can greatly diminish the longer you’re in recovery. #7 Prescription Drugs Are Safer Than Street Drugs Some people think that because a doctor prescribed a drug, it’s not “as bad” as street drugs like heroin, crack, or cocaine. The opioid crisis has helped dispute that myth about addiction. Around 247,000 people in the U.S. died from a prescription opioid overdose from 1999 to 2019. The National Institute on Drug Abuse reports that in a period of one year, 1.5 million Americans started misusing tranquilizers, 271,000 started misusing sedatives, and over one million started misusing prescription stimulants. The truth is addiction doesn’t discriminate by type of drug and any substance that you abuse can be dangerous and deadly. Concerned About Yourself or a Loved One? Drug and alcohol addiction are serious conditions that have long-lasting effects on your physical and mental health. If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction, reach out to us for a free, confidential consultation. We provide evidence-based substance abuse treatment that helps you understand addiction and the reasons you abuse drugs and alcohol, so those can be addressed. You’ll learn healthy coping skills and develop connections with peers in recovery who know what you’re going through. References
Reclaim Your Energy in the New Year
Waking up to snow falling swiftly outside my window a few years ago, I rolled over to check my phone in hopes that I would be greeted by a text revealing that I did not have to trek through the winter wonderland outside my window and venture to work that day. To my surprise, my wish was granted – and I sighed in relief as I sunk back down into my bed, finally being permitted to take a day to rest. . . It was the first day I was able to rest in months and I could barely move. Working two jobs that I was whole-heartedly devoted to left me with little time to care for or connect to me. In my state of exhaustion, I realized that I had been neglecting the most important relationship in my life – the one I hadn’t created with myself. I was in a state of doing and never took the time to slow down, soften and just be. In that moment I made a commitment to me; the person I often had the hardest time keeping a commitment to. My resolution was to reclaim my energy – to create time and space to care for and honor myself. On my quest to reignite my energy and light I decided to go inward – to reconnect with my needs; strengthening my mind, spirit and body. Here are seven ways that I reignited internal energy reserves: 1. Meditation – Engage in a daily meditation practice. Meditation allows me to let go of my roles and responsibilities and creates space to just “be” with me. Its through meditation that we become more in tune with our inner process. If you’re more of a “do-er” start meditating at night as a way to wind down and complete the day. If you need a little more inspiration to get your day moving, meditation can help set your mind at ease and gain focus for the day ahead. 2. Exercise– Daily movement is essential for well-being. Ask yourself if you are honoring your body’s need to move on a daily basis. Yoga helped me reconnect my mind body, breath and spirit. Most importantly it taught me how to breathe and to honor my body (my oldest friend) by moving with my breath every day. 3. Diet– Start looking at food as fuel. Ask yourself – what can I put in my body that is going to make me feel the best and give me the best results? Engage in mindful eating. I chose veganism because eating fresh, leafy greens, fruits and vegetables fill me with energy and light. I no longer crave foods that don’t support my physical well-being 4. Relationships– Tighten up your circle of friends. Are you spending time with people who energize you or those who drain your emotional reserves? I made a conscious effort to spend time with friends who are uplifting, make me laugh until I cry and adhere to my desire to uphold wellness; mind, body and spirit. 5. Spirituality- Connect to a higher power, whatever that may be for you. Connection with something greater increased my capacity for faith and hope in all that I do. 6. Nature- Get outside. Spend time with mother nature every day. Whether it be a walk on your lunch break or a hike in the woods. Human beings are animals after all, and we require time to feel in tune with Earth. I feel most alive when I am breathing fresh, clean air surrounded by the beauty of our planet. 7. Reboot- Find something that you love to do. Do you love to draw, read, write, cook, sing opera, play an instrument? Make time each week to do something that makes you, you. I found that when I became curious about my interests, I found more of them and making space for them made me happier as I was getting to know myself. In reclaiming my energy, I stumbled on a journey to cultivate self-love. I found pieces of myself that I had neglected for far too long. I found fuel to drive me. I now recognize the sense of wholeness that comes from linking mind, body and spirit. In 2018, let love go inward first – then we can be an expression of glowing energy and inspire those around us to do the same. Author: Chelsea A. Hoagland, MSW, LSW – Footprints to Recovery – Substance Abuse Counselor
