How to Navigate the Holidays Clean & Sober
The holidays can be magical. Spending time with friends and family, traveling, parties, traditions and customs… These may be wonderful for lots of people, but if you’re recovering from addiction, they can also be stressful. Being away from your support network and routines could lead you away from your path of recovery. Holiday customs, memories, and events associated with alcohol and other drugs could lead to thoughts of using and maybe even a relapse. Avoiding Relapse During the Holidays Is Difficult During the holiday season, you’re likely to be invited to one or two holiday parties. These parties almost always include alcohol. When you are in recovery, being around alcohol can make it difficult to avoid relapse because seeing others drink might remind you of drinking or using drugs. Also, having alcohol available to you makes it very accessible for you to drink. Plus, others in your circle—friends, and even family—may not understand addiction and encourage you to drink or use drugs. The holidays are also a challenging time because being around family members can cause stress or strife. If using drugs or alcohol was your go-to for stress reduction, then feeling stressed may make you want to relapse. Besides family stress, the financial pressures of buying gifts or traveling may also arise. Feeling the burden of stretched finances can lead to thoughts of the substance that once brought you relief. 10 Tips to Help You Avoid Relapse During the Holiday Season 1. Plan Ahead Prepare how you will support your sobriety. Schedule time for attending 12-step or other support meetings before or after holiday events. If you meet with a therapist, set up a time to get together before your events or after them. And if you’re in formal addiction treatment, keep your sessions on your schedule, so they don’t slip your mind during this busy season. If you are traveling, look up 12-step or other recovery meetings near your destination. When it comes to attending seasonal events, prepare an “exit plan,” which can include an excuse that allows you to leave early if you start to feel uncomfortable or out of control. If you have a friend in recovery or a sponsor, invite them along with you to holiday events to be a source of support and fun and to help keep you from being tempted to drink or use. 2. Understand the Emotional Complexity of the Holidays The holidays are emotionally complex for most people, including people who don’t struggle with addiction. This is because there are usually many family engagements that bring together varied personality types and perhaps baggage from past disagreements and experiences. Navigating the family dynamics of who likes who, who is mad at who, etc. can be a headache and emotionally draining. For a person in recovery, this can be amplified, as your past behaviors when you were using could have caused strife within the family (on top of all the other potential family dynamic issues). To confront this and understand how it impacts your recovery journey, talk to people in your recovery support group (or a therapy professional) about what the holidays mean to you. What are the family dynamics and emotions that you attach to them? Prepare for holiday celebrations by working with your sponsor or therapist in advance to get a sense of how to process your feelings around the holidays. Also, put together strategies to prepare yourself emotionally and gather ideas for how to avoid family members who may be too triggering for you. 3. Be Transparent Those around you may not understand what it means to be an addict. It can be easy for some to think that “one drink won’t hurt.” Be transparent with friends and family about your sobriety and what it means to be an addict in recovery. This can help them better understand why you choose not to drink or use drugs, even during fun, upbeat times like the holidays. Plus, understanding your situation can help them become an ally to you in your sobriety. 4. Take Time to Check in with Yourself It may be overwhelming to be with your family or at holiday parties, even if you have a sober buddy or sponsor with you. This is especially true if it’s your first holiday being sober. You may start to feel overwhelmed, anxious, or angry. That’s natural, but those emotions can also lead to relapse. It’s okay to take time to yourself—away from the group— to check in with your feelings and assess what you need. 5. Reach Out for Support The holidays are stressful! If you’ve checked in on your feelings and found that you need help, don’t hesitate to reach out for it. “Help” may come in the form of a sponsor, a loved one, or a friend. Reach out to someone who understands your past and sympathizes with what you’re feeling. You may want to consider attending a group therapy session or support group meeting during the holiday. Attending one of these groups can help put you in a good frame of mind when spending time with others. Starting or going back to addiction treatment is also an option. An intensive outpatient or basic outpatient program can match your schedule, so you can receive support while keeping up with your plans and responsibilities. 6. Focus on Others Being in recovery, a basic tenet of 12-step work or increasing spirituality is to give back—to look outside of yourself and serve others. How can you do that? Try: When you give back, we switch from thinking about yourself and your issues and gain perspective on the bigger picture of what others are going through. Any time you shift your focus to others in a selfless way, you connect with others on a deeper level. This practice enhances your spiritual connection and your own spiritual condition. 7. Keep Track of What You Are Drinking This may seem silly, but it’s very easy in a party atmosphere to accidentally pick up someone
How To Love Yourself When You’re Hurting
The Hurt: Several years ago, a blindsiding betrayal left me feeling utterly devastated. I felt alone, empty and more depressed than I ever had in my life. I felt utterly worthless, and on top of that, I felt ashamed for feeling worthless. I felt empty like nothing could ever fill the void within. I felt like nothing mattered. I was so sick and tired of feeling so sick and tired that I begged and prayed for the pain to just go away. I wanted to push it deep down within me. I wanted to numb it out. I wanted to just pretend like everything was ok. I filled my downtime with things that I thought would make me happy. I filled my downtime with things that I thought would make me happy, distracting from the pain and sorrow that I felt daily; ultimately ignoring my real needs along the way. For some time, I was lost, bitter and worse than all, angry. I couldn’t seem to figure out how to fill myself up with light and positivity. I was stuck in the dark abyss of devastation, betrayal and loss. The self-love and care that I had been practicing for years was a distant memory . . . One Day At A Time: Through my personal journey and recovery from addiction I gained many valuable lessons, but none more important than ONE DAY AT A TIME. In the depths of my self-destruction and hate, this lesson came to me again. I went back to what previously saved me, both personally and professionally, and began living my life with the simple motto and premise of ONE DAY AT A TIME. Meetings make it. I started attending more meetings, spent more time on the phone with my sponsor and began to pray. God has always been a part of my life but living each day the way I should meant God became a critical part of each day through prayer and meditation. Little by little, one slow day at a time, I began to open up to the knowledge that no one else was going to get me out of my pain. I had to start showing up for myself. The Change: I began my positive journey forward by first taking care of my body. I started to eat more, to sleep when I felt tired, to get out into the fresh air. Then almost in response, I started to take care of my mind. The negative self-talk; “you’re not worth it” was met with a challenge; “you are!”. I saw that my negative self-perception was stemming from false beliefs, false beliefs that formed out of my pain and sorrow. The truth then began to unfold. We have the ability to define our own happiness. We deserve a partner who won\’t bail without warning when the times get tough. We deserve to be loved truly. We deserve to be respected and valued. We deserve transparency and honesty. I began to fill myself back up, my self-love was no longer a distant memory. Whenever the waves of pain came on I cried and held myself, without shame or guilt. I was longing for love but rather than searching for it in things or people, I began to give it to myself. Nothing Worth Having Comes Easy Loving yourself isn’t always rainbows and butterflies. Some days I sunk back into a depressed state where I forgot who I really was and what I was really capable of. And then I woke up and remembered that I must be there for myself, as well as those closest and dearest to me. I found that ultimately I felt abandoned, so I swore to never abandon myself. You don’t choose yourself once and then it’s over. You must continue to show up for yourself in every moment, the difficult ones and the easy ones, one day at a time. Self-love means taking care of you. It is honoring and respecting you. It is having the courage to face your emotions, dig deeply but doing so with gentle care. Learning to love yourself doesn’t mean you never feel bad again. It doesn’t mean that you won’t feel pain anymore. This is constant and continuous work that has the ability to heal. It’s the bravest, most important work one can do for them self.
10 Mental Health Tips That Will Stick With You
A person’s general mental health affects all other areas of their lives. When neglected, it can lead to a series of problems, like stress, burnout, and even mental disorders. Stress can also cause physical symptoms, from headaches to even hives and ulcers. Though some issues are temporary, many of them can cause long-term and even permanent damage. In addition to that, poor mental health can lead to bad decisions, often due to symptoms triggered. These decisions may include self-medicating with drugs and alcohol, as many people take out their emotions on substances. This can eventually develop into addiction, starting a toxic cycle between addiction and mental disorders. There are many measures that can be taken in order to avoid said issues. Taking care of your mental health should primarily be about your health in general. 1. Therapy, Counseling, And/or Psychotherapy There is no better way to take care of your mental health than to go to therapy in an individual setting. Unlike what many may think, therapy should not be sought only once symptoms of mental disorders start. In fact, through therapy, professionals can diagnose mental illnesses in the early stages, addressing it before it becomes acute. Likewise, counseling can be important both for one’s mental health as well as their life plans. It is an effective way to work on mental health while working towards goals and objectives. A licensed professional can give patients advice as they progress and help them adapt their life strategies if needed. For some, psychotherapy might be the best go-to options. While it is not needed, it can be beneficial for those with serious mental illness symptoms. In psychotherapy, patients go to therapy sessions and are prescribed medications when needed. It is completely safe as long as the doctor’s instructions regarding consumption are followed. 2. Disconnect For A While Stepping away from the computer or putting your phone away can improve your mental health. In a fast-paced, connected world, we tend to not realize how technology and social media can overwhelm us. We are constantly stimulated and bombarded with information that can affect our views, our anxieties, and our insecurities. This does not mean throwing your phone away or deleting all your social media profiles. Nowadays, a lot of people need to connect to work and to keep in contact with loved ones. Disconnecting means taking some time off in a way that won’t affect your routine negatively. That could mean taking a day off once a week or maybe cutting down your daily time spent online. You can also do small things that will make a big difference in the long run – turn off notifications, turn on “do not disturb,” and/or turn on night shift for your screen. Anything that you can do will help you become less stimulated, and consequently, less stressed and anxious. 3. Work On Improving Your Eating And Sleeping Habits Your entire body is directly affected by your sleeping cycle and your eating habits. They are both important to nourish and replenish the body of the energy needed for all daily, routine activities. Without that, the body’s immune system will be compromised. This can also cause much harm to the nervous system, making it difficult for it to function properly. Our bodies need a certain amount of daylight hours to function properly and to trigger certain processes. As we sleep, our nervous system goes through processes related to memory, cognitive function, concentration, coordination, and more. Additionally, erratic sleep cycles can trigger mood swings, irritability, and even mood-related issues on those with mental disorders. It is recommended that people get 7 to 9 hours of sleep every day. As for eating habits, we as human beings need a healthy intake of every food group available. Not eating properly might result in insufficient nutrients, vitamins, minerals, and other substances needed to trigger certain processes. Dieting is not just about weight; it is about general health and longevity. 4. Practice Mindfulness Mindfulness is defined as being aware of one’s self and surroundings, not being overwhelmed by thoughts and events happening. It is meant to help a person be present and not obsess or focus on what can make some anxious. That includes worrying about the future, dwelling too much on past events, and anything that is not the present. This can be done through a number of activities and daily actions. Meditating and breathing exercises are a popular, easy option that can be done in many ways. Anyone can pick the exercise or technique they are most comfortable with. 5. Rethink Your Social Habits And Circles The people we surround ourselves with can be influences in how we perceive and experience the world. Unfortunately, as we start to change our habits and lifestyles, some people might not fit in our lives anymore. If you want to have a more positive outlook, you need to be with people who support that and who understand it. They don’t have to have the same habits as you, but they need to respect it. You can try to attend and participate in group meetings and activities you like to meet new people. Besides that, support groups are also a great opportunity to meet people going through the same things as you. 6. Volunteer For Something You Love Volunteering has multiple pros, both for yourself and your community. It is a way to help bring positive change while also getting to know like-minded people. Helping others while connecting with others can improve self-esteem, social skills, and general mood. Having ties in your community is a way to feel like you truly belong, and like you have a purpose. Some people offer services they are familiar with and are already good at. But you could try to do something new, and take the opportunity to learn a new skill! 7. Keep A Journal Or A Mood Journal Journaling is a tool for people to better understand themselves and to vent about their feelings. By writing down
Improve the Moment With DBT
One of the challenges of addiction recovery is learning to cope with stress and triggers in healthy ways. In the past, drugs and alcohol were likely your go-to for numbing difficult feelings or experiences. Developing healthy coping skills to deal with these issues is critical for long-term recovery. A therapeutic approach that’s proven helpful in regulating emotions and managing stress in people with addictions and-co-occurring mental health disorders is dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). A type of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), DBT helps you identify and change destructive thoughts and behaviors with mindfulness skills, emotion and distress regulation techniques, and ways to improve interpersonal effectiveness. Some clinicians have found DBT improves: Research shows dialectical behavior therapy can also be particularly effective when treating people with suicidal thoughts or mental health conditions like borderline personality disorder, and recently it’s shown promise for people with bipolar disorder, complex post-traumatic stress disorder, and eating disorders. One DBT technique that can help you with stress and anxiety before you get caught up in a cycle of negative emotions and triggered is the IMPROVE skill. The goal of this technique is to “improve the moment” by transforming the distressing situation and emotions into more positive ones. This can make difficult experiences and emotions less intense, so you’re better able to tolerate them and not feel the urge to numb through drugs and alcohol. Depressed and anxious thoughts are often underlying issues of substance abuse. “Racing thoughts, obsessions, and worry are common symptoms of anxiety,” said Stephanie Pruefer, a licensed professional counselor and certified alcohol drug counselor who often uses DBT in her work. “If we are able to use skills to calm these symptoms, anxiety can actually help to motivate our behavior and facilitate change in our life.” Below are seven examples of ways to use the DBT IMPROVE the moment technique to improve distress tolerance: #1 Imagery Imagery can help guide thoughts and emotions into a calm and relaxed state. There are many ways to do this. One way Pruefer suggests is to imagine yourself in a safe place where you feel comforted, supported, validated, and internally at peace. Another approach is to visualize working toward goals and aspirations. You can also imagine something humorous and light-hearted. For example: It may sound silly, but if you pay attention to positive imagery, it can distract you from worrisome thoughts. #2 Meaning Finding the positivity in distress doesn’t mean you are denying the challenges of it, the goal is to simply find a way to “improve the moment” by using ways to feel better and deal with the difficult situation and feelings. “Finding purpose and perspective in overwhelming times can help decrease hopelessness,” said Pruefer. Questions she sometimes asks her clients to consider: Answers to these questions can help you refocus and think about the situation on a deeper level. #3 Prayer Whether you identify as religious, spiritual, or neither, prayer can be beneficial for dealing with stress and intense emotions and find meaning in them. Mentally releasing intense emotional experiences can help decrease negative feelings that can lead to relapse. “Praying to a higher power or any force outside of yourself can help decrease loneliness and hopelessness in situations,” said Pruefer. “If you struggle with higher power or religious practices, try speaking out loud to yourself. You could also journal these thoughts and emotions as another outlet.” #4 Relax Relaxation can help: “Planned activities could include a bubble bath, getting a massage, manicure or pedicure, or doing something you enjoy,” said Pruefer. “If you need to relax with short notice or on a budget, try using essential oils for calming lotion — spearmint, eucalyptus, or lavender, light a candle, take a short walk, stretch out your legs or arms, or try four square belly breathing.” To do this: #5 One Thing at a Time Being in the “now” allows you to let go of anger, shame, and worry about the past and future, where ruminating increases suffering. Pruefer suggests grounding yourself by: #6 Vacation This skill refers to mental vacations rather than geographical vacations. Try taking a mini break from the presenting stressor. Give yourself five to 10 minutes to take a mental vacation and focus on improving the moment. Some examples of what you could do include: #7 Encouragement Be nice to yourself. Instead of cycling through negative thinking patterns, try saying things like: “Self-affirmations can help improve our sense of self-confidence, which could decrease overall anxiety and fear,” said Pruefer. “If you’re engaging in negative self-talk, ask yourself if you would talk to your best friend this way.” How DBT Helps in Addiction Recovery Stress, unhealthy thought patterns, and lack of coping skills are proven risk factors of addiction relapse. Dialectical behavior can serve you well in all of these areas. When faced with triggers, the techniques you learn in DBT can be an important part of your toolbox of recovery skills to draw upon. Addiction treatment centers like Footprints to Recovery offer DBT as just one of the evidence-based approaches used in substance abuse treatment and coping skills training. If mental health symptoms and unhealthy thinking patterns are getting in the way of your recovery, reach out for help. References
5 Tips For Coping With Overwhelming Emotions
Events and interactions with others or with ourselves may precipitate negative or overwhelming emotions. Feeling stressed, down, anxious, hopeless, or overwhelmed are some of the leading emotions to trigger a relapse. It is important to have skills to help cope and manage overwhelming emotional responses. 1. Observe and describe the emotions. Emotions have physical, cognitive, and behavioral aspects to them. It is important to observe these aspects and describe them to better understand the cycle of emotions. If we can identify and explain how we feel tense and warm when we are angry, or if we feel clammy, shaky, and loss of breath when we are anxious, we will be better equipped to implement skills and prevent unhealthy behavioral responses to uncomfortable emotions. 2. Reframe negative or overwhelming thoughts. Thoughts play an important role in coping with overwhelming emotions. After a prompting event, we have individual interpretations to these events. Emotions are self-perpetuated and implementing alternative thoughts when we are overwhelmed can help to break the cycle from feeling frustrated, to angry, to hopeless. If we do not get a job that we are hoping for, it can be easy to cycle down into self-defeating thought patterns that retrigger hopelessness and feeling disheartened. Instead, reframe to other opportunities and experiences gained from the interview process and what you can do differently. Alternative perspectives can also help to ease the negative emotional response. 3. Become aware of your vulnerability to negative emotions. The common expression is HALT. Are you hungry? Are you angry? Are you lonely? Are you tired? This is important to keep in mind to ease feeling stressed and decrease the chance you will act impulsively. Another vulnerability is if we are under the influence of drugs or alcohol. If we are aware of our vulnerabilities then we can be at ease knowing it feels worse in this moment than it would if we had felt well rested, were sober, or if we had eaten a fulfilling meal. It is important to make note of our vulnerabilities and engage in self-care to prevent further emotional suffering. 4. Distract. Distraction can be extremely useful in tolerating the feelings in the moment so we do not act on them in a way that may cause harm to us later. A helpful acronym is ACCEPTS. Are there activities you can try? This could be visiting with a friend, attending a meeting, or treating yourself to a nice dinner. You can contribute to someone through service work and giving back. Compare your state with another’s perspective and increase gratefulness for your situation. You can try acting opposite to the emotion you’re feeling. If you are feeling sad or low, listen to an upbeat or empowering song. You can also try pushing the negative emotions or thoughts away. This should be a last resort to tolerating negative emotions. You can try changing your thoughts (see tip number 2 for more information). Lastly, self-soothing through bubble bath, getting a massage, or your favorite candle. Are You Trying to Quit Using Drugs or Alcohol? We offer an array of addiction treatment services & therapies
Tips for a Successful Recovery – A Firsthand Experience
Relapse is not a fun topic to bring up during treatment for drugs and alcohol; however, it is crucial to individuals success. Research has found that relapse in the early days after treatment accounts for the largest percentage of overdose deaths yearly. In order to keep the risk of relapse and overdose low individuals leaving treatment are encouraged to learn and implement relapse prevention strategies. On behalf of International Overdose Awareness Day, August 31st 2017 – Nick Kratzer discusses his own battle with addiction and the strategies that he uses to continue to lead a life of recovery below. I was addicted to drugs for the better part of 10 years and have been to hell and back. I\’ve ruined relationships, dragged my family through the mud, lost jobs, attempted suicide, been spiritually bankrupt, and even broke my own bones to get that next fix. I am a recovering addict and have been clean since February 6, 2015! Self-acceptance is the key to me staying clean and I’ve been successful thus far in early recovery because I’ve built a life that I’m not willing to give up, simple as that. However, there are so many factors and elements to my day-to-day life that contribute to my on going success in recovery. Healthy Routes: Making my bed (sounds silly but helps set the tone of the day with accomplishing something first thing in the morning), exercise, prayer/meditation, and eating healthy. Talking to a Sponsor/Positive Support System: This is as simple as a few minute phone call to keep my sponsor/support network updated with my life on a daily basis. Staying Connected with Fellow Addicts: Isolation is terrible for addicts so I make it a point to talk to or see someone in recovery daily. Positivity and Challenging One’s Own Thoughts: Being positive and changing the way I think about things so that the things I think about could begin to change. Realizing I’m not a victim! Trying to see the good in every situation and knowing that there is a solution to every problem. Opening Up to Others: Allowing people in my life to know how I’m really feeling (so I can get the help I need) Continuously Learning About Oneself: Step work is the key to continued growth because it challenges me to really think about who I am and how I operate. Communication: This is a two-way street and it’s as simple as calling or texting someone in recovery on a regular basis. The longer I stay clean the more I realize that drugs were not the problem – I was the problem and I still can be if I don’t apply the tools that I’ve learned and implemented them in my life. In order for me to continue to grow, I must first stay clean and accept life on life’s terms. It’s not always rainbows and sparkles but what I’ve realized is nothing is permanent. Feelings change, bad things happen, expectations don’t get met and I have no control over those things. However, I do have control over the way I respond to these things (people, situations, etc..).
How Will I Spend my Summer Now That I am Newly Sober?
It’s the season we’ve all been waiting for, SUMMERTIME! With the welcoming of warm weather, longer days, and sunshine people often ask the question – How will I spend my summer now that I am sober? Here are some ways to make the most of the season. 1. A Day at the Beach Grab the sunscreen and let the fun begin! New Jersey, Chicago, or a tropical island, having the sun on your face and the sand between your toes is the epitome of a true summer day. Rent a boogie or surf board, build a sandcastle, or just kick back and enjoy soaking in some vitamin D. Unsure of where the nearest beach is? Click on the link below to find the closest beach no matter where in the world you are! Beaches Worldwide 2. Grillin and Chillin Nothing tastes better than food on the grill. Whether you are biting into a juicy flame grilled burger or watermelon and pineapple (yes, grilled fruit is amazing), gathering friends together for a barbecue is a great way to enjoy the summer. Don’t have a grill… no worries! Many parks, forest preserves, and picnic grounds all have grills you can use for free. Not sure what to make? See a few links below for some great summer grilling recipes. Grilled Pineapple The Perfect Cheeseburger The Best BBQ Chicken 3. Have a Thrilling Time Looking to add a little adrenaline rush to those hot summer days and nights? Head to your local amusement park and take a ride on a heart-pounding roller coaster. If the long lines and heat start to get to you, jump on a water ride and cool off while keeping the excitement going. Amusement park not in your summer budget? Local carnivals can be a great way to get your adrenaline rush on a smaller budget. Plus, you can enjoy corndogs, cotton candy, and funnel cakes but, make sure you eat those after the rides! Click on the link below to find amusement parks and carnivals in your area. Fairs & Festivals Ultimate Rollercoaster Guide 4. Get Soaked! If you are a thrill seeker but beating the heat is your top priority, head over to waterpark in your area. Twist, turn, spin and splash down a slide or, kick back on a tube and float down a lazy river. Check out some of the best water parks in the country: Waterparks USA 5. Work it Out A workout is a great way to reduce stress and stay in shape both physically and mentally. Instead of running on the treadmill like a hamster on a wheel, take your workout outside and boost those endorphins while getting a healthy dose of vitamin D. Plenty of park districts hold outdoor fitness classes and different athletic stores play host to running clubs in the area. Feel like flying solo? Check out the link below to get a great outdoor total body workout: Outdoor Workout 6. Be a Team Player Have a little competitive edge inside of you? Join an intramural summer sports league! Depending on where you live or your athletic ability, a few options are: Have a team or need to join one? The link below will help you get the ball in motion. Team Sports Near You 7. Get Green We can all go to our local grocery store or farmer\’s market to get our favorite fruits and veggies but, why not test out your green thumb and try to grow some of your own. If you feel hindered by not having a yard of your own, not to worry! See the link below for the best indoor fruit and veggies to grow: The Best Plants to Grow 8. A Cinematic Summer The box office will have lines down the block to catch the new summer blockbuster but, who wants to sit inside on a warm summer night? Catch an old classic love story or a scary slasher pic at a local park or beach! We found some great ones in a city near you – Seaside Beach Movies Chicago Movies in the Park 9. Give Back Having fun in the sun can be twice as fun if it involves doing a little volunteer work. Here are a few organizations that are always looking for a helping hand: Looking to make a difference in your community? Click the link below to find an opportunity near you: I Want to Give Back 10. See the Sites No wind, no snow, no ice to get in your way! Grab some friends, pack some food, and take a road trip to a place you’ve always wanted to see. This summer, gas prices are lower than they have been in the past so, this is the perfect opportunity. Looking for a car or some new travel pals? The links below will have you on your journey! Road-Trip Meetups Roadtrips USA LET’S ALL HAVE A GREAT SUMMER! You Might Be Interested In
